When Mom was Away

My mom was an RN at the VA hospital where she worked overnight. She was married to John since I was one years old, he was all I knew. I even called him Daddy, it wasn’t until years later, I learned he was not my father. I have since began calling him John. He treated me well (in my eyes, back then he did) and watched me while my mom worked. It was a really young age when I could remember it all started. John and I had routine. He would give me a bath, washing my “kitty cat” really good, “because they can get really dirty from sweating all day”, he would say. After having me lay in the bathtub on my back, while he held my little flaps open “so the water can rinse the soap out of the inside of my little lips . As I dried my naked body off, and put on my pj’s, John sit would on the toilet in front of me and pour his weed from the small manilla enevelope, use a match book to roll it back and forth to allow the seeds to fall out. Then he would roll up a joint and be sure to lick it alot while he watched me get lotion my small body and pull on a night shirt.
We would go downstairs into the basement, in his “Adult room” (this was the ONLY time I was allowed down here and I could NEVER tell Momma). The lightbulb was red so it was always a little dark. John would turn on the radio and I would crawl in the middle of the couch and wait for him. He would remove his robe, sitting next to me in his boxers and light the joint, take a couple of hits then turn it around in his mouth so the fire was facing inside his mouth and tell me to come sit on his lap facing him.