Truth or Dare_(10)

Oh thank god, thank god! I kept staring at the stick and I checked the box three more times to be sure. Just one line, not two. Negative. Thank god.

I know you are going to think I am full of shit but I really didn’t know. I mean, yes, I knew that was how babies were made, but honestly, I thought you had to want to. Yes, a little bit of internet research had cleared things up a lot. But I was a good girl, I didn’t plan to be naive or ignorant. But I was a good girl, and my parents were very devout Catholics. I went to a private school and sex ed consisted of nothing but abstinence. There was very brief and sterile discussion of sperm and egg, but I really thought when people had “bad sex”, the type just for fun, that you didn’t make a baby. I know, I was stupid, but instinctively, somehow, my body knew.

I was planning to save myself for marriage and for Jesus. I wanted to please my parents, my teachers, my pastor, and my friend’s parents. I liked being one of the girls that parents would point out to their little girls and say, ‘you should be just like her.’ I was excited to graduate next month and head to TCU in the fall. Jesus, what would those parents have said if the test had read positive?

Probably the same things they were saying, I mean, were going to say about Savannah. I was sure, well pretty sure she wasn’t going to tell her parents that Lizzy and I were involved. God, I could hear my parents now, “Marissa what were you thinking?!” That horrified look. And that would just be if they heard about booze or drugs. God knows what they would say if they knew. . . . if they knew their perfect daughter was now damaged goods.

Not that you would know it looking at any of us. My mother was Italian and my father was French. I was 5 foot 1, more leg than torso, and fair skinned but kept up a steady diet of spray tanning. I had been lucky with acne, and rarely had to wear much makeup. I had thicker lips than average and braces gave me great teeth.

My breasts were definitely from my mother. I was at a small C at that point and my mother commented to me often how happy I was going to be when I went to Sorority. How well I would fill out formal dresses. While I often dressed girly, it was never suggestive. My breasts helped accentuate them that I was trim, though not athletically fit like Savannah. I am softer, thicker and firmer than Savannah.

Lizzy was kind of the ugly duckling of our group, though I love her to death. But she is lumpy and has lots of freckles. But we are all beautiful to God and I know she will find the right guy at college with me next year. Savannah got into TCU as well. Everything was planned out. It was going to be perfect.

It was. Now I am not so sure. At this point I just prayed Savannah wasn’t going to be stupid about it, that she would leave Lizzy and I our of it. The anxiety over it won’t let that sickly, haunting, panicky feeling to go away. That must be what made me vomit. When I got off the phone with Savannah this morning it took a while to even understand her through her sobs. She was talking about feeling sick lately and cramping and that she had always had a very on time period. So she had accepted what she knew had happened and went to Planned Parenthood and got confirmation. She was pregnant. She was pregnant with his child. God, he was old and paunchy and a dork and . . . and . . . . oh God what had she been thinking? What had we been thinking?

She had no idea who he was, his real name, his number, his address, anything. We met him in that parking lot. Shit, we never even looked at his license plate. I am fairly certain now that it was all his plan. Why he did things the way he did, how he manipulated a few stupid naive young ladies who were too trusting. Now she had his baby inside and she didn’t know what to do. She ended the conversation saying she had to tell her mom.

That was 2 hours ago. I haven’t gotten a call since so I assume she hasn’t told, or hasn’t sold Lizzy or I out. But when I hung up, I felt nauseous. I puked, hard. Instantly so afraid that maybe I was pregnant too. But nope, the test said no. Thank god!

I laid back on my bed and stared at the ceiling. The tv was on but I didn’t hear it. I couldn’t stop my mind from going over the events of that night again, and again, and again, and again. For as sick as it makes me, I did go along, I wanted to know what it felt like to be drunk, to be high, to be . . . . fucked.

It was about four weeks ago. I remember at Bible Study that week Savannah had told us her parents were going to be out of town and she wanted to have a sleep over. We said sure, even good girls like to be able to talk at length about boys, and blogs, and makeup, and clothes. It’s all innocent fun. But she said to not mention her parents were gone, she didn’t want our parents to say we couldn’t. This was the first time her parents let her stay alone when they were gone over night. Obviously all our folks were considerably over-protective.

I remember right away knowing something was different. She had this look in her eye. She had been a good girl her whole life, and she wanted to be bad. Not crazy bad, at least I don’t think so. I don’t think she had any idea how much was going to happen. But at school that day she said she knew where her folks kept the booze and she wanted to try drinking. I admit I was curious too and Lizzy went right along and we thought that would be a fun best friends thing. Getting drunk for the first time. Jesus drank wine, right?

But when we got to the house, her parents had put a zip bolt on it. No combo, it was a key one. Savannah was so pissed, she stomped around the house hollering about her parents not trusting her.

I neglected to point out that they seemed to know what she had in mind. Anyway, she ranted and ranted and ranted. Lizzy and I were good with just chilling and watching some movies, but Savannah had her mind set on breaking some rules this weekend.

Next thing I know, she had snagged $200 from some where in the house her mother kept petty cash (not that they hurt for money) and was dangling the keys to her dad’s BMW.

“Let’s drive to a liquor store and get some of our own.” Savannah said.

“It won’t work. We can’t buy any for another 3 years. Unless you have a fake ID.” I replied.

“Oh whatever, we can find someone to buy it for us.”

Lizzy and I gave in without much of a fight. There was a liquor store really close but it was small and alone in the parking lot. Savannah went further to one that was in the parking lot with a supermarket, a cleaners and a Mexican restaurant. It took a while to figure out how to ask people. We avoided the mom and dad looking people. Tried a few old ladies who told us not to start so early on drinking. Savannah seemed to be running out of steam and I thought we would just go back to her place. But that was when he said something.

“What are you looking for?” We heard a voice ask behind us.

Savannah turned around and asked, “Who are you?”

He walked closer to us and into the overhand light. “My name is Patrick. I was in my car there listening to the end of the radio segment. I saw you go up to a number of people and you looked pretty bummed out. What are you looking for?”

“We just want a little alcohol. We won’t need much. And I have $200 whole dollars. If you get us some stuff you can spend the rest on what you want.” Savannah blurted out.

He looked around to see if anyone was watching. But it was a pretty slow evening.

“Ok, which car is yours?” Savannah showed him.

“Alright, I can’t risk someone seeing me give it to you. So I will buy in and then follow you to your place, deal?” He didn’t look real threatening or anything. He was, I don’t know at least like in his 30’s. He was balding on the back of his head, he wore glasses, had a goatee and mustache, some of his side hair was graying at the temples. He was about 5 foot 10 or so, a little soft, not like the guys at school who were mostly toned. He didn’t inspire any attraction at all to me.

I thought Savannah was nuts for trusting him but she did. She gave him the cash and we got back in the BMW.
“Aren’t you worried he is going to just grab what he wants, get in his car and drive away?” Lizzy asked openly.

“Shhhhhit! I hadn’t thought of that.” Savannah said with a growl and smacked the steering wheel. I just didn’t know why she was so determined to do something “wrong” tonight but it seemed like an obsession, like she had made a deal with herself to be the person she had never been tonight.

It was a while but the guy, “Patrick” came out of the store carrying a cardboard box that cases come in and smiled toward us as he put the stuff in his trunk. He then drove around the median and stopped a few cars back from our parking spot.

“You see! Sweet! Let’s go.” Savannah was very happy now, so much so I have to say it infected us and we were getting excited about drinking. Savannah said she wanted to use the PS4 to see if we could drive the cars on Need for Speed when drunk. We were laughing pretty good and we pulled into the garage, and Patrick pulled into the drive.

As we got out of the car, Patrick walked up to the garage, and I reached out to take the box.

“It’s kind of heavy, let me take it in for you.” Patrick insisted. He came in and put it on the counter and showed us all he got. There were 12 wine coolers. A sixer of cider. Some Fireball, and a bunch of airplane bottles of yager, jose cuervo, sky vodka, and crown royal. He was telling us about what went with what mixer and what you were supposed to drink straight.

He was nice enough. That wasn’t the problem, but I felt a little sketched out by him. Why did he want to hang out with us? So I tried a hint.

“Thanks so much for helping us out. Hope you enjoy what you got for yourself.” I said.

“Okay, okay, I can take a hint. I. .. I was gonna smoke a bowl before I headed out, did you want to share.”

I said “no” and Savannah said “yes” at the exact same time. “Fine, you don’t have to, but I want some Marissa. Hey, we should make a drink first. What should I get to go with the vodka?”

“Hmm, I would go orange juice. It really mellows the taste and is good in case the pot makes you thirsty.”

“Great!” Savannah said and got to work making four drinks.