Trans – formation

Summer 2026

It were an ordinary morning. Phone rang.

“Hell – Oh” I says casual like .

“Is that sex change clinic?” this twat asks.

“No its a fucking Chinese laundry, of course it’s sex change clinic,” I says, “What do you want?”

“To become a woman,” he says.

“Best of luck with that, periods, hot flushes, babies,” I says, “What we offer is a basic prickoptomy, like clean sweep or a de-bollocking if you want to be an enoch, I mean Unuch.”

“Oh,” he says.

“We can make a cunt hole where your cock was, “ I says, “If you want but most folk what’s interested is queers what takes it up their ass anyway so it’s a bit pointless is that.”

“Oh,” he says.

“Look if you just want’s to perv, we can do a set of DD tits,” I said, “Keep thee prick and that and that will get you into women only showers and women’s changing rooms, mind you you’ll need a big handbag to hide thee cock when it gets hard.”

“Do I have to live as a woman first,” he asked.

“Not since Labour won 2024 election, July 4th I think it was,” I explained , “You just fill in an online form on the “You Gov” website and Robert’s your mothers brother.”

“Oh,” he said. “How much?”

“Depends, are you a UK resident or have leave to remain?” I asked

“Oh yes,” he agreed.

“Only most are illegals who don’t want to be exported and they can say their lives will be in danger if they are sent back to Wazzockstan or whatever.” I explained, “Though I don’t see it me self as Sharia law has their whatsits off as a rape punishment and they don’t have any whatsits anyway but UK government muppets don’t see it that way.”

“I am a UK citizen,” he said.

“What colour?” I asked.