To big to handle

I was 34 yrs old, just started a new job at a university. I was always a shy and timid women, never had alot of friends, grew up in a strict catholic household. Never been to the city, never rode a city transit bus. It just wasnt the new job that was exciting, i was also the environment. Brian and I met only a couple weeks of me starting my new job, Ive never dated, kissed or touched a black man. Of course ive heard the stories that black men were larger than the average man, wasnt a total believer though. Within the first day of talking to Brian, he asked me to go back to his apartment with him, of course I said no, walked away, had to intentions of ever talking to him again. I was scared of being raped or worse. Everyday he’d stop by, kept talking to me, finally convinced me just to go get something to eat with him. That kinda broke the ice alittle, I stayed after work for hours, just talking to him. After the first week, I went to his apartment. His bedroom was in the basement, since he had other roomates, we only had privacy in his room. He had posters of naked women all over his walls, which made me wonder if he was a player or not. We sat on the edge of the bed, he leaned over kissed me. I was relucant, but I just shut my eyes an went with it. Within minutes, his pants was off, he layed on the bed, told me to suck his dick. When I first seen the size of it, I knew it would never fit in my mouth. I knew having sex with him was out of the question, there was no way he would fit inside of me. He told me how to go down on him, to start at the head of his dick, licking, working my way down. to keep my mouth wet, to let the saliva run down his dick. it took me awhile to get the hang of it, once I did I could tell he was enjoying it. After 20 minutes or so, he told me to take my clothes off, I instantly refused. No man has ever seen me totally naked, he tried to persuade me, but I still refused. He finally let up alittle, an told me to take off my pants an panties. I took them off, laid on the bed, he told me to open my knees. I once again refused, I have never been exposed like that, even though I wanted him so bad. He started massaging my feet, slowly working up my calves, to my thighs. It was so relaxing, I havent been touched like that in years. He pushed up my legs, opening me to his face. He inserted the tip of his finger inside of my pussy, moving it slowly. while using his other hand to spread my knees farther apart. Then his head went down between my legs, I thought I was in heaven. He kissed my clit, then lifted my ass up and inserted his tounge inside of me. It only took a few minutes and i came, hard. Then he got on top of me, kissing me, told me he loved that I squirted all over him. I wasnt for sure what he meant by that, but I was to excited to ask any questions. I could feel his dick at my opening, slowly pushing against me to get inside. I kept telling him he was to big, he said it would only hurt for a few, to relax and it would go in easier. I felt the head go in, I screamed in pain, telling him to take it out. He stopped, pulled it back out. Told me to stay laying just like that, while he got a lubricant, asking me when was the last time I had sex. I didnt answer him, I closed my knees while he was getting the lubricant. When he came back to the bed, he put his hands on my knees, spreading them open. Using his fingers he opened my pussy lips, squirted the lubricant inside of me, while rubbing my clit. Telling me it will go in easier now, an it wont feel as painful. Once again we tried, him getting the head in, but he was to big. I couldnt handle the pain. I jumped out of bed, started putting on my pants, I dont know if I was embarrassed or mad, I know I just wanted out of there. He stopped me, looking at me, told me not to worry about it. We will figure out a way for me to be able to handle him, that we have plenty of time. I still insisted on leaving, he walked me to my car. I thought that was the last time Id ever see him again.
The next day at work, Brian came to see me. I was surprised, he asked me to meet him after work to talk.