Three Can Keep a Secret if Two are…in Love

I lead a nice boring life. That’s the way I like it. I don’t need any big highs, and I hope that is balanced out by not having the big lows either. I have a decent job; I’m Assistant Coroner at the county morgue. It’s far from glamorous, but it pays the bills. I drive a decent car, and I can travel a little each year.

Not that I have anyone to travel with. I’m recently divorced. We just signed the papers last month. God, was that bitter. Rachel and I had been married for five years; no kids, thank God. But, it got ugly over the assets. It wasn’t like there were a lot of those. We had almost no equity in our house, thanks to the burst housing bubble; two nearly paid for cars; and we each had a retirement account.

I’m just glad I was in charge of our money. I’d had kept Rachel on a budget, vetoed the idea of getting a huge house, an adjustable interest rate mortgage, and I had not allowed credit card debt. Rachel fucking hated that. She came from a family that spent money, regardless of possessing it or not. Their credit cards were always maxed out; they changed cars every other year, and lived in a house they couldn’t afford. She thought we should live the same way.

I guess some of that was my fault. I always treated her like a queen, giving her presents, taking her out as often as I could, and spending any extra money I had on her. You couldn’t blame me, though. Rachel is a fucking knockout. She’s the hot blonde right out of Central Casting. Five-five, tight figure, perfect c-cup boobs, a really nice backside, and the face of an angel. She really looked like she belonged in the movies.

I had no idea what she saw in me. I’m good looking enough; above average if I wanted to risk being called stuck up. But, Rachel is at least a step or two above me. When we were dating I was in heaven with her on my arm. The guys would stare at her and then look at me. When they stared at me, I knew what they were thinking. ‘Him? What’s she see in him?’

Yeah, that was nice. But, I had to work to finally get to enjoy that body of hers. She always said she was saving herself for marriage. I eventually wore her down, and the last few months before the wedding we had sex a few times. At the time I thought it was great. I came to realize she was never saving herself for the honeymoon bed; she hated sex.

The fighting began on our honeymoon. She claimed she was tired and didn’t want to have sex. Are you kidding me? This was supposed to be one of the most special nights of our lives and she was going to watch TV? She eventually relented, but she did little more than lay there until I was done.

It didn’t get a lot better. I’m a red blooded male and I expect sex from my wife. It was a constant struggle to get it once a week. It was frustrating especially when I would spend the week ogling her luscious body, seeing her naked in the shower, or just getting dressed. She would drive me wild just vacuuming the room wearing jeans. Oh, sure, If she wanted something; like an expensive dress, she would turn on the charm, seduce me, and usually get what she wanted. That sex always put me on cloud nine and those times became the highlights of my life.

They were also few and far between. I’m not a miser. Not even close. I do my part to help the American economy, but I just refuse to over-extend myself. My parents did that. Well, Dad mostly. Mom was the responsible one. Dad would bring home useless gadgets, like an automatic potato peeler, all the time. They eventually had to declare bankruptcy, back when I was still in high school. I was embarrassed for them, and even though they tried to hide it, I knew they were both, especially Dad, ashamed over it.

Not long after, we found Dad dead, in his bed. The autopsy said accidental death by pills and booze. I always wondered. Dad drank, and he took painkillers for an old injury from his Army days. But, he knew the dangers. He lectured me once when the dentist gave me a prescription for Vicoden, after having a wisdom tooth pulled.

“Now don’t you go out drinking, while you’re taking those pills. That’s a sure way to get dead.” He told me.

Yeah, I always wondered if it was really an accident. Maybe we all did, but no one said a word.

You can see why I watch my money. Rachel didn’t get it. We fought constantly over the money. She would see a few dollars in our savings account and would want to blow it. My protests of needing it in case something happening were always answered with.

“You worry too much. We’re young; we need to have fun.”

It never mattered that I was right. She wrecked her car, and that wiped out our savings with the medical deductable and getting her car fixed. She healed up fine. She hated that I was right about the money, and sex was out of the question while she convalesced.

It wasn’t long after that we called it quits. It was her idea. She got a lawyer, paid for with our money. I had to get one, too. We went back and forth for months. She demanded alimony, even though we both worked and she had a good job. She wanted a piece of my small 401(k). She wanted me to pay off her personal credit cards. Finally, I gave in and signed over all interest in our house; the only asset we had of value and she signed the papers.

I was free. I have seen her just once since then; hanging on the arm of some lawyer-type. I almost felt sorry for him.

Tonight, I have a little excitement planned. Today is Kimmy’s 21st birthday. Kimmy is Rachel’s little sister; the ‘homely sister’ as she calls herself. Rachel has Playboy looks. Her sister, Kimmy, is the girl next door. Her body is on par with her sister’s; maybe a little smaller in the chest and slightly flatter hips, but still very pretty. It was just hard to stand up to Rachel, and Kimmy hated living in her sister’s shadow.

I walked into Club Regina, where Kimmy and a few friends were gathering. I wasn’t sure I was going to enjoy this; as I only knew Kimmy’s friends on a “Hi, How are ya” basis. And, I figured Rachel would be there. That could get awkward. But, I really liked Kimmy. She is fun, smart, and loved life.

It was dark in the club so it took me quite awhile to find the Kimmy. She saw me first and started waving frantically. I walked over and found her 6-top table filled with her, three other girls, and Rachel. I gave a perfunctory nod to Rachel, who did the same, as Kimmy threw her arms around me and gave me a very aggressive kiss. It took me a second to recapture my wits as I returned her wet, lusty, kiss.

When we broke apart, her girlfriends were grinning; Rachel was glaring.

“What was that for?” I asked surprised.

“It’s my birthday. All birthday girls get kissed” she replied, but that answer seemed well short of the intensity of that kiss.

This could be an interesting night I thought, and accepted Kimmy’s invitation to take the remaining seat. Kim re-introduced me to her three girl friends, all of which I had met. First there were the twin sisters, Karen and Sharon. They weren’t identical, and I could never see any family resemblance. Karen was blond with blue eyes. Sharon had brown hair and dark eyes. The other lady was Tasha, a pretty red-head, and Kimmy’s best friend.

The waitress came by for my drink order. I was going to have beer. The rest looked like they might be close, so I offered to buy a round.

“Ladies, do you all need another. This is a party” I said.

Kimmy was most eager. Her girlfriends agreed. Rachel glared.

“Another white zin, Rach?” I asked politely.

“I’m fine.” She replied rather coldly. Her tone did not go unnoticed by everyone else. But I did not push it. We were here to celebrate and I was going to do my best not to ruin it for Kimmy.

A song from Whitesnake came on and Kimmy grabbed me by the hand and started to drag me out to the dance floor.

“Wait! Wait!” I complained “I need to pay for the drinks.”

I quickly dug into my wallet found $50 and handed it to Tasha.

“Tasha, Can you please take care of them for me?” I asked “Tip her a few bucks, too.”

“Ok, but you owe me a dance.” Tasha replied.

My arm was nearly pulled out of it’s socket, as Kimmy led me to the dance floor.

“What is it, 80’s night or something?” motioning up toward the music

“I guess!” Kimmy shouted “I like it though”

We gyrated and danced to the song. I could not help notice how good Kimmy looked. She was wearing tight jeans that showed off the curves of her body. She was being a good girl and had on a bra, but that did not prevent her breasts from bouncing, heaving and capturing my attention. When I looked up from checking her out she was looking at me, smiling, as if to say ‘Gotcha’. I felt my face go hot.

The song ended and Sweet Child of Mine by Guns and Roses came on. This song was less energetic and we spent way too much time looking into each other’s eyes. When it ended she eased into my arms and gave me another deep kiss, which I eagerly returned. I was still confused, but I couldn’t help kiss her back. Her kiss was hot, driving, and was meant to pound home a point beyond ‘Thanks for the dance.” Part of me understood that point, and I felt an erection start to grow. I broke off the kiss.

“Kimmy, people are going to stare” I said smiling, but not taking my arms from around her.

“Yes, I know. It isn’t often they see a woman as strikingly handsome as I am.” She said with a grin.

I rolled my eyes and lead her back to the table. The drinks had arrived and I nearly drained mine with the first long pull. I noticed Rachel had not warmed up to me at all, and was staring daggers at me. We talked for a few songs, telling stories, and Kim flirting with me seemingly non-stop.

The music era changed as Lady Gaga’s Poker Face came on. Tasha got up, grabbed my hand and said.

“Time to pay up. This is my favorite song”

I had no intention of saying no, either to paying my debt or to ogle Tasha as she moved on the floor. Tasha was small, about 5’ 2”. Maybe a smidgeon heavy, but that only made her ass look really nice. I already mentioned her flowing red mane, which hung down to her shoulders, and accented her sparkling green eyes. She probably had C-cup breasts, but they looked larger on her small frame. Tasha is very pretty and I could tell from the table chit-chat, that she was easy to talk to. That was hard on the dance floor, but I tried anyway.

Tasha moved with a dancer’s grace and I complimented her one it. She said that she taken some dance classes, but she has a bad knee and had to give it up. We danced a little more, and Tasha leaned in.

“You know, Kimmy really likes you.”

I wasn’t sure how to take that, and Tasha picked up on my confusion and went on.

“I think she has a thing for you. Ya know, now that you are divorced and everything”

“Ya, divorced from her sister” I added

Tasha just raised her eyebrows and shrugged.

“So, why are you telling me this?” I said

“I really like Kimmy. She’s a good friend.” And then she added “And you’re kinda dense.”

I laughed out loud at this as the dance ended. I opened my arms and gave Tasha a hug.

“Thanks for the dance……and the heads up” I said

We walked back and sat down. I finished my beer and miracle of miracles the waitress appeared.

“Anyone else need another?” I offered

Kimmy and the twins decided they were dry, Tasha was nursing her’s, and Rachel gave me the look I used to get when I she wasn’t getting her way.

“C’mon, Ron! Dance with us” the twins said in unison.

‘Fuck’ I thought. I was getting tired. But, when pretty woman want your attention…..

“Tasha?” I sang out her name and gave her some cash. She just smiled as the girls lead me out by each hand.

We danced an energetic version of Nazareth’s Hair of the Dog, but Karen and Sharon seemed much more interested in each other than me. I kind of felt like a prop, but whatever. It was fun. We all sang along to the chorus over and over again.

‘Now you’re messin’ with a son of a bitch’

When the song was done they both gave me a big hug, and Karen added a peck on the cheek.

The three of us sat down. I wiped my brow, and exhaled. The new round of drinks appeared about the time my heart rate dropped to 100, and I took another long pull.

“You think you’re the shit.” Rachel hissed at me.

Before I could even compose an answer much less say anything, Rachel got up and stormed off.

“What’d I do?” I looked around dumbstruck.

“You married her, you divorced her, and then you fucked her little sister” Kimmy said with a mischievous grin.

“What are you talking about? We’ve never had sex” and then looking at the other ladies, I repeated, more earnestly

“We’ve never had sex!”

They all had the same smirk on their face, like the joke was on me. Kimmy and I have flirted shamelessly for the last five years. She was a gangly fifteen year old when I started dating her sister. There was sexual tension between us for years, especially when it was evident that things weren’t working out between Rachel and me. But, we had never even kissed.

I would be lying if I told you I never thought of Kimmy, sexually. She is a beauty herself. Late in our marriage if I needed a fantasy to help relief myself when Rachel wouldn’t; Kimmy’s face and body would stand in.