the woman in me

Part 1

I don’t really know how to begin with. Hmmmm, well let me tell you a little about myself. I am 38 years old, dark hair, hazelbrown eyes, shapely legs, a great ass, small but firm tits. I am living in the suburbs of Berlin, Germany, I am married to a very successful and well hung lawyer and …I am a shemale. Sounds funny ? Well, in Germany two people of the same gender can get – well kind of – married. But let me tell you how this all began….



I was always fascinated in women’s lingerie. As I began to grow pubic hair I first shaved it off and also began to search the wardrobe of my mother when my parents were away for a party. I sniffed at the crotch of her panties and began to put on her stockings, garters and bras. I even put on a wig and used her lipstick to complete my feminine appearance. Standing in front of the big mirror in my parents bedroom with garters, stockings, bra, makeup and a wig on gave me a big hardon. I then pulled my little cock between my thighs and pushed my small balls back in my abdomen to form a pubic moand and I looked really like a girl.

I also foand some porn-magazines in the dresser-drawer of my father. These began to fascinate me even more, because they showed women in lingerie while they sucked dicks and getting fucked – almost too often up the ass.

So the idea to get assfucked while sucking a dick excited me the more I thought about it.

I might have been 12 or 13 years old when I finally had the courage and the itch to use a candle on my virgin ass.

I selected a small one. It was about 12 inch long and about half an inch in diameter, that was nearly the same diameter as my small dick had. I greased it carefully with handcreme, put it at my backdoor and then slowly pushed it deep into my bowels. The feeling was overwhelming. I lay on my back, the greased candle deep in my ass, my little penis pressed to the side of my thigh and rubbing it at my thigh for all I was worth. Then the sweet feeling came. It was like I had to pee and a small amount of liquid came out of the small peehole. It was soooo good I had to do it again the next evening and the evening after that and so on. I fucked myself almost every day and after a while I had to search for bigger objects than my candle. I desperately needed someone to fuck my ass!

Well, it happened quite soon. I was about thirteen, maybe fourteen years old when my parents took me on a vacation to danmark. In danmark it was very common to go to publik nude beaches, lay naked in the sun and go skinny-dipping in the Baltic sea. I didn’t like it much, but my parents were very fond of it. The best thing although was that not far away from the beach was a public washroom. I remember it very well. It was built of wood, with one small stall. In one sidewall of the stall was a hole, which I later foand out was a gloryhole. I was there very often, hidden in that stall and playing with my three-and-a-half-inch pecker and looked at the writings on the wall. I couldn’t read them, ‘cause they were written in danish and English. I often watched men pee through the gloryhole and it aroused me. But one day I got even more aroused when I watched a man playing with his dick until it was big and hard. I guess that was the moment I became addicted to big dicks.

I liked that big dick. I had a phantasy about sucking it like the girls in the porn-mags I’ve found and then I noticed a finger scratching at the rim of that hole, then again. In an instinct I knew it was a signal, especially when I saw a dark eye behind that hole, watching me play with myself. I stuck my little dick through the hole and was rewarded by a wet mouth sucking at my dick and licking my hairless balls.