The Vacation_(0)

This is a true story. I’ll say it occurred mid-October 2015. Let me explain a little about myself first. Yes, I know nobody gives a shit, and you just want the action now, but fuck you. I’m doing it anyway.

I’m 24 and in good shape. I don’t exercise, but I eat alright and have a physically demanding job, so it keeps me in check. My cock is a modest 6.5 inches, 7 on a good day. Just putting it out there now, I’m not gay. I am very much attracted to women. I wouldn’t even say I’m bi. Like at all. I don’t find any man “attractive.” The only thing I like about men is their cocks. The idea of a cock in my mouth and/or ass, or mine in theirs turns me on to no end. Other than that, guys do absolutely nothing for me. Call it what you want, but if I don’t find a man sexually attractive, that doesn’t necessarily make me gay or bi. Maybe that’s just me. Fuck labels, just enjoy yourself. But anyway, let’s start my story.

I work a shitty job. Normal, right? Well, I recently decided to take a small vacation; just take a few days to recharge my batteries, relieve stress, blah blah blah. I chose to head to Dallas to visit my best friend, let’s call him Shane. Shane was a “typical rocker.” He had tattoos all over, very thin with long curly hair, and wore nothing but clothing that was related to music somehow. He wasn’t in any way gay. (Or at least not that I could tell.) Shane moved to Dallas 2 years prior for a better job and be closer to family. Despite the distance, (I’m about 10 hours away) we remained close. I was also pretty close with his roommates, but I was closer to Shane.

I stayed at their place, naturally. Forgot to mention, we are all HUGE potheads. So, when Shane welcomed me with a warm hug at the airport, he also welcomed me with a quarter of medical-grade marijuana to start my vacation off right. This was already well worth the trip up here.

I’ll go ahead and fast-forward until later that night. After the roommates, we’ll call them Jerry and Lance, got home from work, we smoked ALOT that night. Like 90-95% of the quarter. (Yes, it’s true. I don’t give a good goddamn fuck what you smokers say, that shit happened. We are experienced, we are musicians, and we are awesome. It. Fucking. Happened.)

So, after getting really high, Jerry and Lance called it a night and crashed so they can work tomorrow. So it was just Shane and I chillin’ on the couch. We started watching South Park, just giggling like fucking stoned idiots. Shane laughed at a particularly funny scene, and he started laughing so hard, his arms were flailing around a bit, and his left hand landed directly on my shorts.