The Story of Ann Chapter 8 Learning the Truth from Jack

The Story of Ann Chapter 8 Learning the Truth from Jack

I borrowed Janet’s car to drive into town to get Jack. Susan had told me on the phone that he had been there since early afternoon. She explained to me that he just sits there drinking from a bottle of Jack Daniels. Susan also explained when she went to talk to him she did not understand his reply as it was not in English.

“Ann, he keeps looking toward the door as if he is expecting someone and from the look in his eyes I think it is trouble he is expecting,” Susan said to me on the phone.

“Take that bottle from him,” I replied to her into the phone.

“I tried too but he just shook his head no at me when I did,” Susan said.

I told her I would be right there. I drove into town not knowing what or who I was about to face. I hoped it was Jack. The man I was falling deeply in love with back then. However, I was not sure of his past or of him. It seemed that at one time during the Vietnam War he was a different man.

He never had explained to me or to grandma about just falling off the face on the earth when he went to Vietnam. He had also done the same thing when he found out I had married Rick. Jack then suffered his wounds and it was almost a year before grandma heard from him. Where and what was he doing?

I thought about Susan telling me he acted as if he was waiting for someone to come through the door at the bar. Those men called the Devils entered my mind along with Captain Bob’s words about Jack seeking revenge.

Either it was a slow night at the bar or Jack had run everyone out of there. I parked around back entering the bar from the back door. I saw Jack sitting at his normal seat at the end of the bar. Susan looked at me then looked away as Jack sat there with his back to me. I slowly walked up behind him stopping a ways behind him. I had not made any sound when I walked up to him from behind. I watched as he picked the bottle up in front of him and took a long hard drink.

Jack placed the bottle onto the bar as he said, “Xin chào Ann,” without turning around to see who it was behind him. He then asked, “Ban Ä‘ã Ä‘en uong voi ma guy?”

I turned Jack on his bar stool as I asked, “What did you just say to me?”

Jack replied, “Hello Ann, have you come to drink with the Devil?”

I looked into his eyes and those eyes were not Jacks. They filled with sorrow, despair as well as anger. His eyes did not sparkle or shine as I looked into them. Jack turned back on his bar stool taking the bottle into his hand once more. He took a big long drink then sat it back down in front of himself.

I sat down by him as I said, “Jack, come home I am sorry about what I said.”

Jack grabbed the bottle again to take a drink. I grabbed it from his hand before he could. He stared at me, which was almost more of a glare than a stare.

“If you are not drinking I would like my bottle back Ann,” Jack said to me almost sweetly.

I saw two shot glasses sitting in front of him and as I reached for one Jack blocked my hand as he said, “Those are taken,” as he stood up and asked Susan for another shot glass.

Jack did not sit back down as he said, “Excuse me Ann; I have to drain my lizard.”

I watched him walk to the bathroom. Jack walked straight and true all the way there. Susan came over with the shot glass and I asked her just how much he had to drink. She told me that bottle was full and was two thirds of the way gone now. I asked her about the two shot glasses in front of him.

“He told me he had a feeling someone would be joining him,” Susan said. “I thought he meant you until I called you,” She added.

Susan walked away as Jack returned and sat down. I poured myself a shot and I kicked it back. It burnt all the way down and I started to cough and gag. Jack smiled and he told me it was an acquired taste. He took the bottle and placed it back in front of himself.

“Jack why did you say, “Men are not punished for their sins, but by them?” I asked him.

Jack turned toward me as his started to say “Because of my past,” but then his eyes went to the front door of the bar. His eyes seemed to fill with blackness as he stared at the door. I turned to see the door opening and a man walking into the bar. The man entering the bar was the one who shot him.

“Jack,” I said turning to him in panic and in fear.

Jack got up from his bar stool and he stood in front of me blocking me from the man as he walked toward us. I looked down to see Jack’s good hand clinched in a fist. The man walked over to Jack until he was almost toe-to-toe with him. They stared into each others eyes just glaring at each other.

“Hello, Jack,” the man said finally never taking his eyes from Jack.

“Hello Daniel,” Jack replied. “I would shake your hand but I seem to only have one good fucking arm at this time,” Jack added with a lot of anger in his voice as his eyes focused on Daniels eyes.

Daniel stepped back from Jack as he hung his head for a few seconds then said, “That is why I am here Jack,” “I am sorry for shooting you,” Daniel looked around Jack as he added, “I believe I own you an apology as well Miss,” looking at me.

Jack stepped up into Daniel’s face as he replied, “She has no part in this as it is between you and I.”

“Then let’s have our toast and get on with it,” Daniel said reaching for the shot glasses and the bottle.

Daniel poured two shot glasses full. He sat the bottle back down looking at them with his hands on the bar. I thought he was thinking rather to just strike Jack and for go their drink. But then he handed oneshot glass to Jack and took one himself.

He turned to Jack as he held his shot glass up he said, “May the Devil himself fear us when his own ride into Hell,” his eyes black as Jacks.

Jack raised his shot as he replied, “May all Devils be allowed into heaven someday.”

The two drank their shots then slammed their shot glasses onto the bar counter. I saw Susan reaching for the phone. I guessed she was calling the police as it looked like the two men were going to fight to settle the score for the last time.

“Susan, put the phone down there will be no trouble here this night,” Jack said to her.

“Jack, I am sorry that war turned good men into Devils.” “I can only thank you for not pressing charges.” “I also wanted to tell you it was not me who shot you but this Devil I have turned into.”

“I too was once a Devil until I found something worth loving again more than death,” Jack replied looking back to me.

Daniel hung his head for a second then lifted it as he looked to me as he said, “Miss, you have a good man here see that he stays that way.” Daniel turned to Jack as he added, “So she is the one who purged your soul.”

“Yes and I returned to Vietnam to purge all of yours souls too,” “But it was to late for any of you,” Jack replied in a bitter tone of voice.

“Jack, I swear it was not one of us who shot you in Vietnam at least I know it was not me,” “If it was one of us I would have killed that person where he stood.” “We all were brothers over there Jack with you as the leader of the Devils.” “Each of us had a reason for what we did or did not do,” “Men are not punished for their sins, but by them,” Daniel said holding out his hand to Jack.

Jack stared at his outstretched hand, as he replied, ““No evil dooms us hopelessly except the evil we love, and desire to continue in, and make no effort to escape from”. Jack took Daniel’s hand into his as he added, “The time has come to put this evil to an end.”

“That is why I am here Jack,” “You led us into that evil and now you must led us from it.” “The time has come to disband the Devils and purge our souls as you have,” Daniel said to him.

“I was never the leader for men lead only themselves to hell and hope they don’t live to regret it,” Jack replied.

They shook hands then the two big men embraced. As they embraced I noticed Daniel’s eyes were not black they were the loveliest shade of blue that went with his long blonde hair. The men broke their embrace and faced each other again.

“You made me realized our souls might belong to the Devil but our hearts never will.” “Thanks for not pressing charges as we both know that caging an animal is not the way,” Daniel said to him.

“Let today be the day you stop being haunted by the ghost of yesterday.” “Get the help you need and if you need to talk you know where to find me,” Jack replied.

Daniel shook his head yes, as he turned walking from the bar. Jack grabbed the bottle from the bar taking it back to his seat. He screwed the cap back on to it then handed the bottle to Susan as he told her he would not need that any more.

“How about bringing me one of my usual instead,” Jack said to her. “Make that two of them,” he added as he looked to me.

“Jack, what is all of this about?” “If I love you and you love me do I not have a right to know?” I asked him.

“You have every right to know and you shall,” Jack replied as Susan placed two tall glasses of ginger ale in front of us.

Jack lifted his glass taking a sip then said, “Life without love is a shadow of things that might be.” “I learned that as a young boy growing up on the streets.”

I was a boy of seven unloved by his parents and dumped into the streets like garbage. I was neglected and beaten as a boy at home if you could call that a home. I was better off on my own in the streets. The streets harden me into an adult without enjoying a childhood quickly as they were my home now. I stole to survive on the streets.
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The cop who walked that beat at the time was Captain Bob. He was but a rookie back then and had caught me stealing newspapers that I would then sale on the next block. He was the first person to have showed me any compassion. He took me to breakfast and asked me who I was and where I live.

“They call me Jack and the streets are my home,” I replied to him.

Officer Bob decided that sending me to the detention center would only harden me more. Instead, he took me home to his place. He was the first person to have ever showed me compassion. I repaid his compassion by stealing his TV when he went back to work.

I avoided Officer Bob for about a month before he caught me again. This time he took me to jail. The judge decided I was an orphan of the state, as they could not find my parents. They sent me to the orphanage where they mistreated me as I had been at home.

I ran away every chance I got and if anyone did adopt me I ran away or caused trouble until they shipped me back to the orphanage. After a while, they never showed me to parents looking to adopt a boy. When I ran away, I returned to the streets and Officer Bob or one of the other members of the police department would return me to the orphanage. I knew most of the police department by their first names and they were really my only friends.

One day Kim-ly and Dai Dinh my soon to be adoptive parents came to the orphanage. They showed all the children to them except for me. I was sitting on the edge of my bed with my head down as Kim-ly walked by me. She asked why I not shown to them.

“That boy is Jack and he is nothing but trouble,” they told her.

Kim-ly walked up to me lifting my head as she said, “Blonde hair, blue green eyes sign of devil but I see a loving, caring heart in eyes too.” Kim-ly smiled at me as she added, “We take boy named Jack.”

I went home with two people who were not even Americans I thought. They talked to each other in a language I did not understand. They took me home and as I was unpacking by belongings I heard them talking in English.

“That boy will only be big problem,” Dai Dinh said.

“That boy strong and be big help on farm,” Kim-ly replied.

I thought that is why they picked me to use me as a slave on their farm. I did not say anything to either of them. They feed me something I never seen or had, but I must admit it tasted better than what I had been eating. They showed me their farm and told me I would be helping them to run it.

I did not say anything I just followed them until they left me alone. I ran across field after fields trying to get away. I fell into barbwire trying to get over fences or around them. I had no idea of where I was and it was getting dark outside. I saw a barn in the distance and I ran to it.

I went inside and climbed up into the hayloft. Your grandfather found me the next morning. He was kind to me and took me inside where I met your grandmother. He told her look what he found in the barn.

“Can we keep him?” Grandma asked him.

Your grandfather shook his head no, as he asked me about myself. Where I came from, who my parents were and my name. I just stood there with my head down; as I did not want to go back to those that I had just ran away from.

Grandma’s cooking loosened my tongue as I told them they call me Jack. After breakfast and with no money to pay for breakfast your grandfather told me I could work it off and then be on my way. He told me nothing was ever free in life as one way or the other you will pay for it in the end. As we worked, I told him my story of growing up alone and unloved on the streets of the city. I explained I had lied and stolen while living on the streets. I only did those things to survive.

“No one can survive without love,” your grandfather said to me. “If you want to be truly loved, you have to first give love in order to receive love.” “If you want to be wanted one must never take what they want, only one who gives it to you can give you the feeling that you are wanted and needed.”

His words took to me as I realized I had never shown any compassion to anyone. Before we had lunch, I told him who my adoptive parents were and gave him their phone number. He told me Dai Dinh was a good man and his lovely wife Kim-ly would be a good mother to me. He also told me never judge ones who are different from yourself.

His words held true as I grew to love them as my real parents and they loved me as well. I also grew to accept your grandparents as my own as mine lived far away. I knew very little of where my adoptive parents came from other than the few photos they had of their homeland.

Kim-ly used to tell me their families would accept me as one of their own as they had. I came home from school one day to find her crying in the bedroom. I asked her what was wrong she told me the North Vietnamese had wiped out their families during the war going on over there.

I remember in a few days telling your grandfather and Frank when I grow up I would seek revenge on those who took her family from her. Your grandfather told me, “War has a way of changing a man if he gets caught up in all the death.”

You know I was going to go to college and that I had a sweetheart back then. She only gave me the push I needed to seek my revenge. I do not believe she played a part, as I wanted to go seek revenge against those who had made Kim-ly cry so I went off to war in Vietnam seeking revenge on those who made her cry.

Your grandfather was right about war having a way of changing a man. Between the deaths that I saw, the death I handed out, the injustice from both sides as well as my own injustice it changed me. Nothing he or my own parents had taught me about right or wrong growing up mattered any more to me.

My head and my hands only had death upon them. I no longer had compassion for anyone even myself. I found there were others like me while on leave in country. I met then while in Vung Tau while on a 3 day R&R there.

One of them was Daniel and members of his squad most were from around my hometown. During our R&R, we saw news reports of how returning soldiers were treated. They called us baby killers and spit at us. The news portrayed us to the public as crazed psychopathic killers with no morals or control over our aggression.

When I saw that, everything that I knew that was right left me. If that was what they thought us to be then maybe, we were. Daniel, his men and I formed a group and called ourselves The Devils. We were already in hell so why not become the devil as well. Anywhere the devils went hell was set up it did not matter whether it was in the jungles of Vietnam, in Vung Tau or even back at home.

Jack told me of members raping and even killing girls over there. Jack swore to me he never took part in that but that he never stopped or reported it. He explained he took his hate and anger out on the enemy, as he was there seeking revenge on them and no one else.

My year of duty was up and I returned home. I was looking forward to it as grandma had written to me about her granddaughter who was now living with her. She had told me we had a lot in common. However, I no sooner stepped from the plane to boos, spit and chants of being a baby killer upon arriving in the USA.

I thought once that I removed the uniform I could remove the bad taste I had in my mouth and the smell upon me. However, it did not for all I could see was death when I closed my eyes. My mind was pretty much gone by then, as I no longer knew right from wrong. During that party when I took you, I knew it was wrong but I could not stop myself nor did I want too.

Then to know the rubber had broken and I might have placed a Devil baby into you. With as screwed up as I was. I thought your baby would be too. I ran back to where I belonged which was in Vietnam, stuck in my own hell.

Upon my return to Vietnam, all I could think about was you. I did not even know your name but I saw your face each time I closed my eyes. After a mission, I would return to my quarters and lie upon my bed hoping you would come to me in my dreams. Your face was the only sanity I had left.

I broke all ties at home with everyone. As I did not want anyone to know what I had become or had done to you. This was my home now for this was hell and it was where I belonged. You were still on my mind and in my dreams. I wrote many letters confessing what I had done to Kim-ly and asked her to find you. However, I never had the guts to mail them.

My life in Hell went on and while I was not part of the ones known as the Devils any longer, I still wore their mark. I would hear of their exploits from time to time. I stopped opening letters from home as I just threw them away until my commanding officer informed me my parents and others were concerned about me. He suggested I write them unless I was crazy and then he would have to ship me home. One of the first letters I opened from home was from your grandma.

When I did, the photo of you with Michelle in your arms fell out onto the ground.