The Simpsons #1

“Why you little”…

“Stop it Homer, for fuck sakes we agreed that you will stop strangling your son. You’re going to kill him by god”!
Marge was in a bad mood. Homer had been lying on the couch as usual not doing anything; Bart had been purposely winding him up while Lisa and Maggie had been playing together upstairs.
“Why cant you two be more like the girls, they are quiet and keep out of the way. And Homer, why are you not at work”?
“But Marge”…
NO BUTS NOW GET OFF YOUR BACKSIDE AND GO TO WORK!
AND I WILL BE GOING TO MOE’S LATER TO MAKE SURE YOU HAVE NOT SKIVED OFF”!
Bart and Homer were amazed. Neither had heard their Mother / Wife swears before and had certainly not seen her snap like she was at present!
“Homer, you had better go, she really is cranky” stated Bart, running out of the door to avoid abuse from his mother for that comment.
Homer took the hint and disappeared also.

Sigh

“Why cant ours just be a normal, relaxed family, instead of me having to check up on everyone 24 / 7,” Marge thought to herself.


It was a few hours later and Homer had called to say he was doing overtime (It was a Saturday and Moe’s just happened to be open till the early hours), Bart had got home and was watching Itchy and Scratchy on TV with Lisa while Maggie had just been put to bed.

Marge was laid out, and decided to help herself to a Vodka and Coke, the 2,3,4…
While the numbers kept soaring, Lisa and Bart realised that they had never seen the mother in this state before, and not to long later Marge passed out completely!

“I think she’s out for the count,” Bart stated.
“For once I agree with you” Lisa said, “Do you think we should try and carry her up to bed, I mean Homer wont be back for another 4 or 5 hours”!
Bart looked at his mother layer out across the couch, a position he was use to seeing his father in but never…

Then a devious though crossed his mind, but to prevent Lisa catching on he played it casual.

“Nah, I think she will be to heavy for the both of us, say I’m bored”.
“I’m bored too” said Lisa, “What do you want to do”.

A sneaky grin spread across Brats face.

“Truth or Dare” he asked his sister.
“Truth”
Although upset at this Bart quickly realised that Lisa was not one for lying, so he could ask her anything!
“Ok, have you ever made out with another girl”?

Lisa Blushed

“Well” she started, “I have once”.
“Who With”?
Bart was intrigued, but totally unprepared for what came next.
“Mum”.
Bart stood shell shocked, Lisa senesced this and went on “But she was only teaching me how to kiss for later, it wasn’t nothing…you know…I mean”…

Bart was amazed, and then saw an opportunity.
“Have you ever kissed a boy”?, he asked.
Lisa blushed.
“OH MY GOD, YOU HAVE’NT HAVE YOU”…
Once again, Lisa blushed.
“Well their is no boy that would kiss me and….”
She stopped.
“And what” Bart urged her on.
“Well, I know I practiced with mum, but without having a boy kiss me before I’m not sure if they will stop and laugh if I do it wrong”.

Bart REALY saw a window for opportunity.
“Well sis, I know we have never got on well, I mean your my sister, its the law for us to not get along but if you ever need help with…’stuff’…then you can always come to me”.

Lisa was shocked; she was seeing a side to her brother that she never knew existed.

“Well…”
She stopped, embarrassed.
Senescing that she wanted to, but be just to shy Bart slowly advanced.
“Are you sure about this” Lisa asked nervously.
“Positive”.
“I mean we are brother and sister”.
“Well you did it with mum, and I will only do this if you want to, I mean what harm will one little kiss do”.
Lisa sighed, “ok” she whispered.
“Pardon”.
“OK”.