The Physical

I sat in the waiting room with my mom. A familiar room, but today it felt foreign, different, strange in ways that was hard to explain. It could be that I was simply anxious about the exam. A physical was required by the school to play any sports and I really wanted to try out for the basketball team. I knew everything would be fine, but post puberty meant that there was more to this than the simple heart rate and blood pressure.

“It will be fine honey.” My mom made every attempt to ease my nerves. Her motherly voice was hollow, offering little to find comfort in. I knew she was trying her best, but behind the words, she too remembered her experience.

“I know, just not sure I want Dr. Andrews seeing me in that way.” I was comfortable with my doctor, but had never revealed much of myself to a guy before. Sure he had depressed my tongue, pressed the stethoscope against my chest, but my mom had done me the disservice of explaining the vaginal and breast exam portions. It was meant to provide fair warning, but it generated a sense of embarrassment.

“Kimi?” The nurse called out. “If you could come with me?” It was Joanna, it was her familiar voice; at least starting the appointment as usual served to relax the nerves.

“Hi.” I said as passing through the door.

“How are you doing Kimi? I hear you are trying out for the basketball team?” She led me to the scale.

“Yup, and I think I have a good chance.” I stepped up and stood straight, completely distracted from my worries. “I am one of the taller ones.”

“1.75 Meters. I would say you are tall for your age. Definitely helps when it comes to basketball. And,” Joanna paused while adjusting the weights. “60 Kilos. You could easily be a power forward.”

“You saying I’m fat?” I had to joke, of course I was one of the thicker girls out there, but never felt that I was fat.

“Not at all. Just that you’re not one of those skinny girls that cannot stand their own.” Nurse Joanna, had played high school and college ball so she knew what was needed of a female basketball player.

“Okay, let’s put you in room seven.” She walked me into the room and had me sit, quickly taking my blood pressure and my pulse. “Good, I see you have been keeping up with your exercises.”

“Everyday! Gotta be ready for tryouts.” I had finally found my comfort zone.

“Alright, go ahead and disrobe. Here is a gown you can put on.” She handed me the flimsy little piece of material.

“Um.” I unfolded it but fumbled, trying to figure the top from the bottom.

“The opening goes in front. Use the ties if you want, but the doctor will need to undo them eventually.” Nurse Joanna smiled, but she noticed the awkward look in my face. “Don’t worry, he is gentle and knows that this is your first exam. He will explain everything as he goes. Plus I will be right here during the entire exam.”

“Okay.” I really did not feel that much better about it, but figured I was here and needed to just get through it. She smiled before leaving me alone to figure out this so called gown. Once it was open and completely unfolded, it was pretty straight forward. I took off my clothes, but left my panties on. Once my arms were through the holes in the gown I wrapped it around my body and took a seat on the crumply paper lined table.

A few minutes of mind wrecking silence passed before the shocking knock at the door. “Come in?” It almost sounded like a question, uncomfortable and unsure, but one of those instinctive responses.

“Kimi? Are you decent?” It was Dr. Andrews’ voice.

“Yup.” Not really, I was virtually naked under this seemingly pointless garment.

“Good.” The doctor walked in followed by Joanna. “How are we doing today? Joanna tells me you are trying out for the basketball team. Always figured you would be good at that sport.” He checked my chart as he approached me. “Looks like you have already had your TB and Tetanus shots. Good.” He handed the folder to Joanna and pulled out his stethoscope.

“Joanna also tells me this is your first time for a breast and vaginal exam.” He spoke calmly as he listened to my heart, and my lungs.

“Mmm, hmm.”

“Well, don’t you worry. If we can, we will try to make this as enjoyable as possible.” He reached for the scope and looked into my ears and nose. “Do you have any questions before we begin?” He pressed his fingers into my throat just below my jaw, moved up along the ridge of the bone and back down.

“No, not really.” My worries began to subside.