The House that Jo Built: Chapter One: Last House on the Right

“I’m telling you man, she’s ready.” Charlie held up his phone as proof, displaying a text that read “I want your cock.”

“Bullshit,” Dan said, waving the phone out of his face and taking another bite of his square pizza. The crowded cafeteria created an insulating din of noise around them.

“No, I’m serious,” Charlie said. “Look at this.” He clicked buttons with practiced fury as he navigated to saved multimedia messages. A photo appeared, slightly blurry, of a pale nipple.

Serious now, Dan leaned closer and took the phone, studying the picture. It was too close to tell who the nipple belonged to, but the light pink hue and swollen puffiness seemed somehow fresher and younger than the ones that belonged to the porn stars he’d seen on the Internet. “No shit, that’s her?”

“That’s her,” Charlie confirmed. “I told you.”

“Damn…” Dan let the thought hang in the air between them. If Charlie was, in fact, not bullshitting then that slightly blurry nipple belonged to Christine McKenzie, sophomore. It was common knowledge, not just around Airy Heights but every high school anywhere, that girls as pretty as Christine did not “date down.” They were always seen on some senior or junior’s arm, typically with access to a car, probably with his letter jacket thrown in the messy backseat. It was not even that uncommon for a sophomore to date a college guy, such as Liz Stuckie, class of ’03, who rumor had it spent three quarters of her high school career seeing someone from MACC. So for Christine McKenzie to text a picture of her tit to Dan’s buddy (and fellow freshman) Charlie was indeed major news. “What now?”

Charlie shrugged his shoulders. “That’s the worst part. It’s not like I can take her to my house with my dad working from home all day. And I doubt I’d get very far with her on the handle bars behind the mall.”

“What about her house?” Dan asked.

Charlie shook his head. “Her mom’s friends with the neighbor lady. Christy says she’s over there every day after school gabbing away.

The two boys concentrated in silence.

“Maybe we could go camping or something,” Charlie offered. “Out back in the woods next to the golf course.”

“What, dropped off by your parents? ‘Ok, son, have fun fucking in the tent all night unsupervised! G’night!'”

They both shook their heads and ate in silence.

After a moment, Dan clicked his fingers. “We have to ask Drew.”

Charlie immediately agreed. Andrew Diaz was a junior and played football. He’d had a steady girlfriend all last year until she moved away during the summer, so he was sure to have had sex. They could ask him how – or rather where – he did it. The only reason two relatively unpopular guys like Charlie and Dan could even talk to Drew was that he got assigned a probability and statistics course and wound up sitting by the two friends who regularly helped him with his work (and gave him the answers when needed). That got them hellos in the hallways at least, if not lunch table invitations. “Good Idea. I’ll talk to him after fifth period.”

–

“What’s up, Mastermind?” Drew’s nickname for Charlie came from one day in Prob & Stat where Drew noticed Charlie doodling half-formed jokes in the back of his notebook. When asked, Charlie explained that he wanted to be a stand-up comic like Jerry Seinfeld when he grew up. ‘You’ve thought that far ahead?’ Drew asked, amazed.

“I uh.. Well… I have a question. It’s personal.”

Drew stopped walking in the hall and stepped out of the lane of traffic. That Drew wasn’t one of the idiots who would suddenly stop in the middle of the walkway in front of everybody was one of the many reasons why Charlie thought he was cool. “Shoot.”

“When you were seeing Lisa last year… um… where did you go when you wanted to… you know” Charlie leaned in and whispered.

Drew let out a laugh and slapped his flat stomach. “Oh wow! Where is this coming from? You getting some, funny man?”

Charlie held up his phone. Drew’s smile widened to a cheshire grin as he made sense of what he was seeing. “Alright, that’s a tit, right?” He offered a high five.

Charlie felt foolish raising his hand since he hadn’t actually done anything yet, but when Dew Diaz puts his hand up, you don’t leave him hanging.

“Tell you what,” Drew pulled his own phone from his pocket and flipped it open, started scrolling through his contacts. “Meet me in the lobby after school and I’ll fill you in. But yo, this is some down low shit ok? Don’t be telling anyone.”

“Can I bring Christy?” Charlie asked.

Drew scrunched his brow for a moment as he thought things through, then his face brightened as the pieces fell in place. “Christy McKenzie!? My man!” He raises his hand again and slapped the shit out of Charlie’s hand with three successive high fives. “Yeah you can bring her along, for sure.”

–

“I still don’t understand why you had to tell him,” Christy said into his ear as they walked down a chaotic hallway at the end of the day. Kids all around them were digging through lockers, rushing to their busses, or forming up little cliques to either work on school projects or hang out before heading home. Charlie didn’t have the heart to tell her that he’d told not just Drew but all of his friends about the fateful text interchange from the night before. Of course, that list was still pretty small.

“I had to, babe.” Saying ‘babe’ still didn’t come naturally to him but he felt he needed some intimate shorthand now that she’d said she wanted his cock. “Not only is he one of my best friends, he also said he could help us out with somewhere private to hang out. You don’t want to go home yet do you?”

“No, but it’s embarrassing, Charlie. Him knowing our business.” Christy blushed and broke his heart with how perfect she was.

“It’ll be ok. He’s cool. He won’t make a big deal out of it.”

Christy squeezed Charlie’s hand as they walked through the school lobby out into the front courtyard.