The Good, The Bad and the Molly – Chapter Fourteen

Chris and I had driven Molly back from her AA meetings before, but this one was decidedly the most awkward. Molly didn’t even wave as she saw us approach, she just got in the back and off we drove. I tried to make some kind of small talk while driving back, but Chris only responded with one-word answers, which as anyone who knew Chris would tell you, meant you should just stop talking. Molly didn’t make eye contact with either of us.

Eventually, we got home and Chris shut the car off. I turned around to face Molly. “Let us know if you need anything from either of us.” I told her. “We’re here for you.”

Molly politely smiled and hopped out of the car, shutting the door behind her. I turned to Chris.

“Didn’t mean to speak for you.” I piped up.

“Nah, it’s cool.” Chris shrugged.

“Do you still feel anything about her? Like, do you still care?” I asked him.

“Yeah, probably.” he answered. “I mean, if I didn’t, like, why would I be driving her?” He gestured around him. “It’s whatever. The whole situation – it’s just whatever.”

“She said some pretty hurtful things about you.” I pointed out. “I realize it’s not my place, but don’t you think you should… let her know she can’t talk to you that way? You’ve only been trying to help, she shouldn’t talk to you that way.”

“Well, clearly, my brand of helping her isn’t what she needs. Or at least what she wants.” he rebutted. “If it’s only hurting her, then yeah, I don’t have to feel guilty knowing my intentions were pure, but at a certain point, intention doesn’t matter when someone wants to see the bad in you. Or when she trusts people so little she can’t see anything but bad intentions.”

“You’re so quick to see how you’re bad for her, dude.” I mumbled. “She’s bad for you.”

“I could say the same for you.” Chris fired back.

“Yeah, but I actually did a lot of the stuff she’s angry at, and yet she still hates you more.” I pointed out. “Last night she said all of that shit to rile you up. Even if it made me feel guilty too, she directed everything at you.”

“Yeah, that crossed my mind. Thanks.” he replied bitterly. “I dunno. Maybe she assumes the worst in those that are good, because to her, there’s no such thing as a person with good intentions. And she assumes the best in you because, no offence, it’s inconceivable that anyone could be that selfish and mean. It’s like everyone is inherently a moderate person to her, and when they’re too mean or too nice, she shifts them back in her mind and overcompensates.”

“Ouch.” I laughed.

“Sorry, just thinking out loud.” Chris replied, tired.

“You might be right though.” I nodded. “I mean in most cases modesty is good, but you’re right – if you’re being truthful you were nothing but there for her.”

“And maybe my nosy involved way of caring is hurtful to her.” Chris mused. “Maybe that’s what hurt her, me being involved and her not getting to run her life. Or me trying to steer her back on course brings shit home. ‘Oh fuck, I did get back together with my-’ sorry, ‘rapist. Oh fuck, I did drink my problems away. Oh fuck, I did have a meltdown.’ Maybe my blunt style of ‘let’s acknowledge it and fix it’ was actually hurtful. Maybe I need to grow from this too.”

“Maybe it’s just… too much. Too intense.” I suggested.

Chris stretched in his seat. “It’s not like it’s going to be a problem from here on in. I am fiiiine with letting shit burn now. It’s kinda clear she and I aren’t going to keep in contact after one of us moves out.”

“What about us?” I asked.

Chris turned to me and smiled faintly. “I’m not sure.” he replied quietly. “Maybe. I want to, and I think you have grown.” He shook his head, smiling. “It’s like – aaah. It’s like, I want to dislike you for the things you did and I feel inherently guilty treating you like an equal but I also know there has to come a point where I accept you’re a different person and forgive you. But, like, that moment is never black and white, you know?”

“Totally.” I nodded. “I think I feel the same way about myself. Will there ever come a time Molly and I hang out and I don’t feel guilty? Should I just burn my bridges now and move to Australia or something? Start fresh?”

Chris snickered and opened the door. “Nice. Anyway, I’m gonna take a nap.”

“How’d Jerome take last night’s talk?” I asked him as he stepped out.

“You’re gonna have to ask Jerome.” Chris simply answered. “But he’s not around today.”

My expression fell. He wasn’t around, and he lived here. Molly was clearly not the only person Chris was having to deal with right now. “I’m sorry.” I almost whispered.

Chris chuckled, albeit sadly. “You don’t even know what’s going on with us.” he replied.

“I know. But I don’t have to. Whatever’s going on… I’m really sorry. Let me know if there’s anything I can do for you.” I earnestly replied.

Chris stared at me, his smile eventually disappearing. His eyes eventually began to get misty and he sighed to clear them. “Can I have a hug?” he asked.

Without hesitation, I got out of the car and gave him a big hug. A lasting one. Chris buried his head in my shoulder, not crying, but also not saying anything, his frizzy Jewish fro getting all up in my face. He chuckled sadly as I tried to wave his hair away. A couple times he tried to break away from the hug, but I just held him, and eventually, his hold got tighter on me too.

“You’re loved, Chris.” I told him, not realizing I was the one to say these things. “Things will get better. Your friends are here for you in the meantime.” With that, I let him go and he flashed me a genuine, if sad, smile, and without another word, darted into the house, locking the car as he did.

I waited until he got inside and whipped out my phone. I dialed in a familiar number and prayed she’d be available, putting the phone to my ear.

“Aaron.” the cold, calculated tone of Daisy greeted me.

“Hey Daisy. I was wondering if you could do something for me.”

“I didn’t think you were calling me to see how I was doing.” she rebutted.

I sighed. “Are you doing well?”

“That wasn’t me asking you to ask. What do you need?”

Yup, this was Daisy alright. Apart from her voice sounding slightly different, slightly older, she hadn’t changed at all. “Are we cool? You willing to be on my side for a bit? I’m worried about something Molly’s doing.”

A pause echoed from the other end of the line. “I honestly have no answer to that.” she told me finally. “I can’t say.”

“Okay.” I ran my hand through my hair, thinking of what I could do, when a long shot of an idea hit me. “Can you go into Molly’s room?” After I said this, I walked into the house. Molly was in the kitchen, eating a sandwich. I waved at her but she wasn’t looking at me.

“Um, that’s an invasion of privacy.” Daisy replied as I waved to Molly. “I don’t even know the reason why you’d ask me to do this.”

I hurried downstairs into my room and shut the door before responding. “Look, Molly has… fallen into some bad habits, but I know my word for it alone isn’t enough. I want you to see for yourself, and I think you will if you go into her room.”

“You at least have to tell me what it is first, then I can decide if I believe you, want more evidence, or refuse to believe you. Especially if this concerns my sister’s well-being, you don’t get to make a detective game out of it.”

I nodded as she spoke. That was totally fair, and that courtesy slipped my mind. “Your sister’s an alcoholic.” I told her, a little less quietly just in case Molly came downstairs or something.

Another pause. “Was it… was it you?”

“I thought the same thing.” I replied. “I asked her. She said she’d been drinking long before the bad stuff happened.”

“I’ve only got your word for that.” Daisy told me.

“I know, that’s why I’m asking you to go to her room.” I replied hastily. “If it has been going on for longer, then some evidence would be in her room. She’s only been home a couple times since the bad stuff happened-”

“You raping her.” Daisy corrected me.

“Yup. That. Thanks. Since… that, so if there’s evidence of ample drinking you’d know it’s been happening since beforehand.