The Good, The Bad and the Molly – Chapter Eleven

I gazed back from the passenger’s side of the car to look at Molly, who was sitting in the back seat. Her eyes met mine and she gave a small, polite smile and a shrug. The two of us sighed almost in sync as my head turned back around to look at the road. Chris said nothing as he drove.

We had just finished picking up Molly from her Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. Neither of us knew if it had gone well or not – she refused to tell us anything about it, and the two of us mildly accepted that. If anything, I think the both of us were glad that she took my intervention so seriously and accepted the ultimatum that she needed to do something about her condition. A part of me wondered if she wanted to do this herself and was waiting for someone to tell her, ‘Hey, you’re seriously messed up.’

You’d think Chris was the type to play some Beyoncé or Scissor Sisters in the car or something, but nope, the car ride home had the radio off and no one was saying a word after Molly was in the car. The silence was painful.

Sooner than later, we arrived back home. “Here we are.” Chris said simply, albeit flamboyantly. “You good to go, hun?”

Molly smiled sweetly at Chris. “Yeah. Thanks.” she simply said. She began to get out of the car, as did I.

“Do you need… do you want any company or anything? Are you okay?” I clumsily asked her as she began to walk back to the house.

She looked puzzled. “Why would I need that?” she asked me.

I shrugged. “I dunno. In case you want any. I dunno.”

She looked at me weirdly. “I mean, if you want to hang around I won’t say no.” she replied coolly. Detachedly.

I sighed and tried my best to hide any disappointment on my face. “Sure, sounds good.” We both made our way back inside, with Chris bringing up the rear. I turned around to smile at him, trying to communicate my dissatisfaction with this whole thing without saying anything. The way he smiled back let me know that he was feeling pretty similarly.

As soon as I closed the door to Molly’s room from the inside, I sat down on the bed and threw my head into my hands, sighing deeply.

“You okay?” Molly asked, a little distantly. It hurt, even after all this time. She could at least pretend to care.

I debated whether to respond with ‘yeah’ or ‘no’ in my head, so I just turned off my thinking and let whatever would come to mind first fly out of my mouth.

“I made you an alcoholic.”

A pause. Molly said nothing. Eventually, I heard her chair creak as she calmly walked up beside me, then sit down next to me.

The grabbed the wrist of one of my hands and dragged it away from my face, only to fold it into one of her own hands. “Hey.” she began softly to make me pay attention to her. Slowly my head rose to look her in the eye. My eyebrows heightened in anticipation of what she was about to say, which she clearly was struggling to get out. “I actually let myself go before any of this stupid drama even began.”

How like Molly to refer to me assaulting her and the fallout of such as ‘stupid drama.’ My eyebrows went even higher. “What?”

“Yeah.” She nodded, and gave a somber smile. “I just… yeah. For a while. A long while. Stuff has been piling up for a while.”

“How long is ‘a while,’ Molly?” I asked incredulously, no longer slouching on the bed.

“I didn’t exactly mark down the day.” Molly replied lamely. She chuckled slightly, but the chuckle quickly turned into an uncomfortable cough as her eyes welled up. “I don’t… like myself. I really don’t like myself. I started drinking a long time ago. I was smart about it, I knew to only drink if I thought you weren’t going to barge in or if you were out or something…”

My face flooded with guilt as I realized that whenever I was out having sex with some college girl, Molly was hating herself and drinking her problems away, slowly destabilizing. All this time and I could have seen the signs, I could have helped her if I wasn’t so obsessed with getting another notch on my belt.

“…and it was nice.” Molly continued. “Probably bad for me, but at least it felt nice. I forgot a lot when I was drunk. I’d wake up and see I texted like six people I haven’t talked to in months. I forgot about the world, for just a few hours. I forgot about why I didn’t like myself. Sometimes I’d just straight-up forget the fact that I didn’t like myself.” She turned to face me and smiled plainly. “So it’s not your fault, Aaron. You didn’t make me like this.”

“Molly… I’m so sorry…” I slowly started.

Molly shrugged. “Don’t be. It’s whatever. I don’t want to care about it. I get why I need to stop, but it just helped me overall. It does suck because it costs a lot, and I know you judge me for it.”

“No, I don’t, don’t worry.” I soothed her.

“I know you do.” she fired back with some heat. We met eyes and I could see behind the anger, a girl whose trust I’d broken before pleading with me not to lie to her, never to lie to her again. I had to admit, I’d fallen into the habit of telling her what I thought she wanted to hear the most, and in the meantime, had refrained from telling her what I thought and felt. Maybe what I should have been telling her.

“Okay, yes. I’m worried though.” I defended myself. “I don’t think it’s how you should… I mean…”

“Live? How I should live?” Molly asked me. I nodded. “Yeah, I’m making a few of those mistakes.” she chuckled to herself. “But I’m making them on my own terms.”

“Fucking up on your own terms.” I nodded. “I remember.” We both looked at each other for a bit before I felt my mouth opening again. “Am I… is this… us having sex. Is that you fucking up?”

Molly’s expression didn’t change. Not humor, not discomfort, not anything. “I don’t know.” she told me plainly. “I mean, if you were to view this from the outside, probably I shouldn’t be having sex with you. I shouldn’t have had sex with Carson either. But I had sex with both of you. It’s probably really weird for me that I had sex with you specifically after all this, but we’re here now.” She put a hand on my thigh and made a facial expression I had never seen from Molly before. Like a humorous ‘fuck everything’ expression. “I don’t regret it. If given the chance to live the last little bit again, I’d still have sex with you.”

I chuckled. “Yeah, I’d still have sex with you too, if you even need me to say that. I’m sorry I’m still so weak.”

“Hey, I told you to stop with the apologizing.” Molly replied, her hand now rubbing my thigh. She slowly looked up into my eyes and gave me a knowing, an almost challenging, smile.

I knew what was coming and in the moment, shared her attitude of ‘fuck everything.’ If I was weak, I was going to enjoy it. Assertively, I grabbed her by the back of the neck as I moved in to make out with her. Molly gladly reciprocated, her breath caught in her chest as she kissed me back. With one hand on the back of her neck, my other travelled down her clothed body, exploring her modest curves and telling her just how much I loved her body.

Both of us knew we shouldn’t be doing this, but for now, in this particular chapter in our fucked-up lives, that’s what made the both of us want it more. As our kisses evolved, our tongues began to explore each other’s mouths as our hunger grew. We had done an awful lot of talking, but we both could communicate pretty wordlessly what it was we wanted.

I made a show of kissing my way up Molly’s body as I removed her shirt and bra. As I undid her jeans, I sucked on her nipple. Molly removed my shirt herself, and as she removed my pants, slid down with them and made sure to get a good long taste of me. I’m sure she only meant to tease me, but as she began to get into a rhythm of me sliding into her mouth over and over, she resigned herself to the position and eagerly started sucking me off as her hand slipped into her panties and she started masturbating.

Molly wasn’t the best at giving blowjobs, but even just seeing such a formerly innocent pure soul corrupted and now so eager for my cock that she literally could help but suck it made this my favorite kind of blowjob – a blowjob from Molly.