The Diary_(0)

It was the day before New Year’s Eve, and Allison’s parents were about to travel to her grandparents’ house, and spend the New Year’s there.

“You’ve got plenty of food in the fridge, and you know where the money is in case you need anything,” Mary said, then looked at her daughter with a worried expression on her face and added, “Are you sure you don’t want to come with us? It’s been a while since you’ve seen your grandparents.”

“I’m sure, mom,” Allison said with a smile. “I’ll be fine by myself – don’t worry about me.”

“You know that’s impossible,” her mother said and pulled her in for a hug. “I’m really going to miss you. We’ll be back in a week, okay?”

Allison disengaged from the hug. “I know.”

“And could you…” her mother started to say, then hesitated. “Could you pack up things in Anna’s room while we’re away? I know it’s a lot to ask…”

“It’s fine,” Allison said and managed a smile.

“Mary, come on, we have to go if we are to get there by midnight,” Allison’s father said.

“Your father’s calling,” Mary said, then added, “There’s one more thing I’d like to ask of you…”

“Let me guess,” Allison said, “Buster,” they said in unison then giggled.

“Please take care of him, okay?” Mary said.

Allison sighed. “I’ll try.”

“Mary!” her husband called.

“I’ll see you in a week. Bye, hon,” her mother said, and after Allison wished her a safe trip she headed towards her husband and responded, “I’m coming, I’m coming!”

Allison stood on the front porch and waved as they drove away. The weather was cold and her breath was visible in the air. She watched her parents’ car slowly disappear into the distance, before suddenly a small snowflake landed on her nose, and she looked up at the sky to see more falling down. She turned around and walked into the house. It would be her first time spending New Year’s Eve alone. It was a tradition of a sort that started when she and Anna were little: they would travel with their family and spend the holidays at their grandparents’ place. Since their parents sometimes had to work during Christmas it also meant the grandparents’ couldn’t always partake in gifts exchange with the whole family, which is why Mary proposed the gift-giving should take place on the morning after the New Year’s Day; while Anna and Allison weren’t too pleased at first, after their parents explained it was more about spending time with the whole family and sharing happiness with each other, they were mollified and over time it became standard practice. But now that tradition would be over.

She locked the front door then walked into the living room, where she sat down on the couch to watch some TV. After flipping through the channels, she finally settled on the one showing a sitcom that she used to enjoy. Yet… even the shows that she liked to watch weren’t as enjoyable anymore. Anna’s silly comments, jokes, and conversing with her during the boring parts, that’s what made them so fun to watch in the past. But now, those shows only served to make her absence all the more prominent and as strong she tried to be, it hurt. It has been a little over three months since the day Anna lost her life in a car accident, the kind that ensured her body had to be in a closed casket during the funeral. “At least she didn’t suffer,” some said. Although comments varied from one person to another, they did nothing to alleviate the pain the family felt over their sudden loss. Anna was just 19, and Allison a year older. As hard as it was, Allison tried to be strong and help her parents in any way she could, from calling Anna’s friends and the family’s relatives to notify them, to those times when her mother needed a shoulder to cry on or someone to listen while she reminisced about Anna. For a while, being busy and constantly around others helped her distract herself from the way she felt, but the first time she was left alone she broke down in tears and cried for hours. It became a little easier as the time passed, yet as she sat there on the couch, she couldn’t help but wonder if she should have gone with her parents rather than staying alone at home.

Suddenly, something big and black jumped beside her onto the couch and she squealed in shock; it took her a moment to realize it was just the dog.

“B-Buster!” she exclaimed. “You-you… ugh!” Maybe not so alone after all. With her heart still racing, she watched him lay down then look up at her. She shook her head in disbelief, then returned to watching the TV.

Buster was… Anna’s dog. He was about three years old long-haired Labrador Retriever, which Anna got as her birthday present from their grandparents when Buster was a small puppy. Sometimes during the summers the sisters would go and visit their grandparents at their farm, and if there’s one thing Anna loved to do there, it was to play with the sheep dogs they owned. Although she wanted a dog since forever – her words – she never had one, and Allison could swear the day Anna got Buster was one of the happiest days of her life. Initially, their grandparents wanted to buy Anna a puppy, but when she found out about it she wouldn’t hear of it; so by her request they took her to a dog pound, which is where she found him and adopted him from. According to her Buster was the best dog in the world; loyal, intelligent, and loving, and she did her best to take care of him and train him. She devoted so much time to Buster, that at times Allison felt like she was competing for her attention with that big ball of fluff.

Allison on the other hand didn’t like dogs and considered Buster a nuisance. She wouldn’t feed him, take him on walks, or do anything for him; until one day Anna sat her down, and talked to her. “You are two of the most important beings in my life, and while I would love it if you were close, I know you don’t like him. But it would mean a lot to me if you you would at least try and get along with him, and feed him or take him on a walks when I can’t. Please?”

That’s all it took, and Allison shyly nodded after which her sister gave her a warm hug. She realized it was silly to behave the way she did towards someone that did nothing to her – well, almost nothing – and since then her dislike turned into what could be considered reluctant tolerance.

She got up off the couch, and headed for the kitchen. “Come on Buster, it’s dinner time,” she said. It was a phrase he heard enough times in the past to know what it meant, so he got off the couch and followed her to the kitchen. She poured him some of the fish-based dog food into a bowl, and got some leftovers from the lunch for herself, which she ate on the couch while watching the TV. Buster joined her on the couch shortly afterwards, and they spent the next couple of hours in each other’s company, before he decided to go elsewhere. As the midnight approached Allison was becoming sleepy, but she stayed up until a message arrived from her parents, letting her knew they arrived safely. After paying a visit to the bathroom she went upstairs, and as she walked into her room she noticed that the black fluffy monster had decided to sleep on her bed. Allison sighed then leaned down, but instead of chasing him off she reached out with her hand and petted his head. She could tell he missed her too. More than a couple of times she found him standing in front of Anna’s room, sometimes even scratching the door in effort to get in.

Anna always used to let him sleep on her bed, but since he couldn’t get in her room anymore, he started sleeping in front of the door. It was a couple of days later when Allison found him on her bed for the first time, and she chased him off – but she felt bad about it and let him sleep on the floor of her room. However, once she fell asleep, he climbed onto her bed and woke her up; she felt the weight shift, and in the dark all she could see was the black silhouette standing by her feet, its eyes glowing and looking at her, which scared her to the core of her being – until she turned on the bedside lamp and saw it was just Buster. When the same scene transpired the following nights, she begrudgingly decided to let him sleep and avoid the needless fright.

After stripping down to her undies she got under the covers, while Buster laid by her feet. As she laid there staring at the ceiling, her mind drifted to Anna again and she wondered where she was now. While Allison wasn’t particularly religious, she believed in the existence of a God of some sort and went to church occasionally with her family. Anna did too, mostly because of their mother. One time when the sisters were alone they had a conversation about it, and Anna told her she didn’t believe in those things, God, Heaven, Hell, all of it, and even though Allison understood her skepticism, she couldn’t help but wish – and even hope – that there was something more beyond their understanding, and the physical existence they once shared. It would have been a sad thing to imagine that someone like Anna was gone for good, permanently erased from existence. There were times though when she felt like Anna was still there, somewhere, watching her, and until the day came when she herself would find out, she was determined not to give up hope that something like that was indeed possible.

“Good night, Buster,” Allison said, and he looked at her before they went to sleep.

**********

On the day of New Year’s eve, Allison overslept. She was woken up when Buster decided it was time for his breakfast, and started licking her face. It took her a moment to realize what was happening, before uttering, “Eww,” and “Off, Buster! Off!” Thankfully Anna trained him well, and he listened.

She got up and put on a long shirt then headed sleepily for the door – Buster waited in the middle of the room, and as she walked through the door he took the opportunity to walk up to her and push his nose against her ass cheeks; she shrieked and pushed his head away. The ‘almost nothing’ referred to that – you see, Buster was a pervert, if such a thing existed among dogs, and the one thing he loved to do the most was push his head under the skirts, and sniff the things he shouldn’t. At first they thought it was funny and would laugh, but as the occurrence rose into dozens it became creepy and annoying. She thought Anna would be able to train him so he would stop doing that, yet when Allison asked her she would shrug and say, ‘No matter what I do, he still does it; just ignore him, he’s harmless’. “Hmph, harmless my ass,” she thought.

Once downstairs, she poured food for Buster in one bowl and water into another, then made herself a light breakfast; two scrambled eggs and two slices of bread on one side, and on the other a chopped tomato, cucumber, and some cheese sprinkled across the top. As she walked into the living room carrying her food on a plate, she looked through a window and noticed the snow had fallen quite a bit through the night. Allison shuddered at the thought of having to go outside into the cold, but she was aware Buster needed to be walked. “That damn dog,” she grumbled as she placed her plate down onto the table. She took a seat on the couch and turned on the TV, then enjoyed her breakfast while watching late morning programme.

After her breakfast she washed the dishes, then put on more clothes and walked outside; there was snow leading up to the front porch, on the first two steps, and the sidewalks were covered in several inches of thick snow. “Nope, nope, nope,” she thought and walked back into the house, locked the door, and disrobed down to her pants and shirt. Buster was laying on the couch in the living room, and as she walked in she said, “Sorry Buster, I’ll take you on a walk tomorrow.” She watched the TV for a bit longer in his company, before realizing she should probably go to Anna’s room and pack up her things – there was no point in avoiding it. She got up off the couch, walked upstairs then down the hall up to Anna’s room, and stopped before her door. The room hadn’t been visited by anyone since the day the accident happened, and she hesitated for a moment, before placing her hand on the handle and opening the door. A smile spread across her lips as she saw the state of her room; it was a mess. There were clothes scattered across the floor, chair, and the bed, the sheets were untidy as she disliked fixing them, and there were various papers laying on the floor beside the bed.

Allison closed the door behind her, then walked across the dusty floor and up to the bed. She picked up one of Anna’s shirts off it, and held it against her nose then breathed in; the smell of her perfume hasn’t worn off yet. She placed the shirt back down, then picked up a couple of papers off the floor, and sat down on the edge of the bed. They were papers from college – exams and essays, and they were graded with A, A, and even A+. “Jesus Anna, I knew you were good, but…”

She picked up rest of the papers off the floor and placed them inside the drawer of the bedside table, where Anna held some of her makeup and stuff, then went through the room and gathered all the clothes in one pile on a chair. Afterwards, she dusted off the sheets and added them to the pile, took out the vacuum cleaner and cleaned the floor, the carpet, under the bed, and everywhere she could get to, and got rid of a few cobwebs and a couple of spiders in the process, all under an hour. After she put the vacuum cleaner away, she washed her hands and got a couple of boxes from the basement in which she would pack Anna’s things in. There were four boxes, and they were separated in ‘Throw Away’, ‘Keep’, and ‘Donate’. The clothes and the rest of her stuff went into the last box, except a couple of Anna’s favourite shirts that went into the second.

There were various pictures, some framed and some weren’t, that had her stop and stare at them for a while, a couple of Anna with her friends, a few with her, and some with the entire family.