The Cousin Trilogy: Part One

I remember the first time I realized I was attracted to her. She staying with us — my parents, my two older sisters, and myself — at our place at the beach. I was twelve years old, and it was the fourth of July. We had all gone out to dinner, gotten some ice cream, and watched the annual fireworks show on the boardwalk. We were showered, tired, and ready for bed. We all sat in the living room, watching the Independence Day Concert on TV, my parents on one couch, my sisters on the other couch, and myself in the recliner. She came down the stairs, just having showered, her hair wet, in her pajama pants, and a t-shirt. Being the gentleman I was, I gave up me seat and sat on the floor. She sat in the recliner, and rolled into a ball as she watched TV. I turned to look at her, and because of the way she was sitting, and the way her legs were, she had a camel toe right along the entirety of her pussy. It was evident she wasn’t wearing underwear. I stared at it for a good ten seconds, until she re-situated herself. I looked at her, and she was looking back with a judgmental glare. I’d been caught. I went back to watching TV, but I couldn’t get my mind off of what I’d just seen. Being a pubescent, pre-teen boy, I had to rub one out immediately. So I said goodnight, ran upstairs into my room, laid down, and jerked off to the thought of her. It wasn’t until I came that I thought to myself, “She’s your cousin, you sicko…”

The following story is 100% true, as I remember it. There is no embellishment whatsoever. This all happened.

Jill is my oldest cousin, clocking in at 14 years older than me. She’s on the shorter side, being only 5’4. However, she’s by no means petite. I don’t mean to say she’s fat. In fact she’s always been in damn good shape. She just has larger-than-average breasts (36DD), and a larger-than-average butt. She has a perfect smile and gorgeous eyes. Everything about her is just perfect. As weird as it is for me to say, my cousin is fucking hot.

After that first incident at the shore, I couldn’t help but be repulsed by the thought of her. I’d jerked off to the thought of my own cousin. I felt so gross. I felt like scum. I had to keep my mind off of her. And I did. For a while. You see, my family has always been close with Jill, so any opportunity we got to spend time with her, we did. It wasn’t always easy, seeing as how she lived almost 120 miles away. But we still made it work. More often than not, she would visit us.

It was Christmas time, and she had planned a visit for the second weekend in December. This would be the first time since the 4th of July incident that I’d be seeing her. Needless to say, I wasn’t exactly looking forward to it.

The day arrived, and I had to clean my room. Whenever Jill would stay with us, she’d always stay in my room, pushing me to the couch. Being the youngest, I was always forced to make that sacrifice. I never usually cared, until this time. I didn’t want her sleeping in my bed. But it wasn’t her fault. It’s not like she even knew I’d jerked off to her. I had no reason to be repulsed by her, other than for my own thoughts. I had to realize that. I couldn’t treat her like she did something wrong, because she didn’t.

She pulled up in her car, and I sat in the living room, just waiting for her to walk through the doorway. I was dreading it, but I was going to pretend there was nothing wrong. I had to. She knocked on the door, and my mom answered the door. They hugged, and Jill entered the house. She saw me, held out her arms for a hug, smiled at me, and it all melted away: the repulsion, the dread, everything. It was gone. I don’t know how, but somehow just seeing her made it all better. I was incredibly happy to see her. I smiled, stood, and gave her a hug. Her big breasts pushed and squished against my chest. It was magnificent. There was just one problem: it was giving me a boner. I had to pull away before she felt it. I did, and she turned to my sister and gave her a hug. I sat down as fast as I could so no one would see. It was a close call, but I now had an erection, and it was because of my cousin.

My sexual attraction didn’t go away. I just didn’t feel grossed out this time. I don’t know what it was that had me so attracted to her, but I had to get rid of this thing. I went up into my room, lied down on my bed, and began to jerk off. I was getting close, and I still didn’t feel grossed out.

*KNOCK KNOCK*

Shit. Jill’s supposed to be setting up camp in here. I wasn’t sure what to do. The obvious choice was to stop, but I was so close, that literally one more stroke would make me cum. I stopped, but it was too late. I was cumming.

“Alex?” she said from behind the door. I was panicking. I couldn’t think of anything to say. She opened the door.

“GET OUT!!!” I yelled.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” she shrieked as she slammed the door shut.

God dammit. She just saw me cumming. This was easily the most embarrassing moment in my entire life. My face was steaming hot. I had no clue what to do. I couldn’t believe she’d just seen me cum. And I was cumming to her! Granted, she didn’t know that, but that just added to my embarrassment. But I had to stop panicking. I had to do something. I couldn’t just stay in here all weekend. This was where she was sleeping. I had to get cleaned up, and go out there.

Was she waiting outside the door? Did she run and tell someone? Maybe she didn’t even see anything. Maybe she got out quick enough. Ah, who am I kidding, of course she saw. I turned the doorknob, and opened the door slowly. She wasn’t there. I exited my room, and headed toward the steps to go downstairs. The bathroom door opened next to me. It was her.

“You’re gonna change those sheets, right?” she asked, without hesitation. I smiled nervously, but she wasn’t smiling. She just kept walking, and brought her stuff into my room. I went downstairs, my stomach in my throat. I couldn’t believe that had just happened. I just…couldn’t believe it. ‘This is a dream’, I kept thinking to myself. I pinched myself. Not a dream. ‘Maybe I can go back in time, somehow’. My mind was going in every direction, trying to think of how to make this go away. It wasn’t going away. Just then…

“Alex!” I heard her call from upstairs. “Come here!”

I complied. I walked up the steps, on my walk of shame. When I got up there, I went into my room. There she was, sitting in my desk chair. “Sit down,” she said, gesturing to the bed. Again, I complied. I sat with my hands folded in my lap, my palms sweating, more nervous than I’d ever been in my entire life. What was she going to say? Was she going to lecture me?

“There’s no reason to act like I saw anything,” she said. “We can keep this between us, and bury it. Pretend it never happened. Okay?”

“Okay,” I mustered.

“You’re a teenage boy. Obviously you’re gonna do that kind of stuff. I just wish you said something when I knocked, so I didn’t walk in on you.” She smiled. Thank god. I thought she’d be mad. “Now go ask your mom for some new sheets. I’m not sleeping on those.”

And that was that. I got her new sheets, and that weekend went on like any other weekend she’d visited. It was a little weird being around her, sure. But she’d been so cool, it was easy to bury it. And so we did.

….THREE YEARS LATER….

It was the end of summer. I was a new man. I was now 15 years old, and a whole four inches taller. I wasn’t the same person I was when I was 12. The past was behind me, along with the incident where Jill caught me cumming. I hadn’t forgotten about it by any means, but it didn’t affect me, nor did it seem to affect her in any way. That’s not to say I wasn’t still attracted to her. Because I was, very much. Every time she’d visit, I’d check her out as she walked away, enjoy her breasts pushing up against me when we hugged, and jerk off to her. Nothing changed in that aspect. Just my mindset about it all. It wasn’t weird anymore. It had become the norm.

She was visiting us again. We had planned out the entire weekend: Saturday we were all going to the zoo, then to the movies, and Sunday we were going to the private swim club our family belonged to. It was going to be a fun weekend, especially since Jill was coming.

Jill and I were never as close as she was with the rest of my family. Probably because I’m 14 years younger than her, and she’d always been more of an authoritative figure — like an aunt or an older sister — than a friend. So when she visited, she usually stuck with my mom and my sisters. They were closer in age, and had more in common. It didn’t upset me. It’s just how it was.

However, this time, it upset me. I didn’t know why, either. At the zoo, I felt like the fifth wheel. It was the four of them — Jill, my mom, and my sisters — and then me. I didn’t care that my mom and sisters weren’t paying attention to me, though. It was the lack of attention from Jill that was getting to me. It’s not like she was paying any less attention to me than usual, either. I just wanted more.

The four of them walked together, and I lagged behind, because I felt out of place when I walked with them. Like they didn’t want me there. But it wasn’t too bad. I enjoyed watching Jill walk as I stayed a few yards back. She was wearing shorts that accented her butt perfectly. All I wanted to do was squeeze it.

That night, we were figuring out which movie we wanted to see. This time, it was only Jill, my sisters, and myself. I was just thrilled to have been invited, because I felt left out all day at the zoo, and my confidence was shaken. I was afraid they didn’t really want to spend time with me at all. But they included me in their movie date, so I was happy.

At the movies, I wanted so badly to sit next to Jill. Again, I didn’t know why. This craving was new. Any other time she’d visit, I wouldn’t mind being in the background. But this time I wanted to be front-and-center, with her. So I did everything in my power to make sure that happened, without being to obvious. And I was successful. I was as happy as could be throughout the movie. It wasn’t as if I was talking to her, either. Just being next to her made me happy. Like I was just given the greatest gift I could have asked for. What was going on?

We got home, and it was almost midnight, so everyone went to bed. As usual, I was staying on the couch. At this point, if this was like every other time she visited, this is where I would jerk off to the thought of her and her walk that I admired earlier that day. But not this time. This time I just lied there, staring at the ceiling, thinking. Thinking about her smile, her laugh, and the feeling I got when I was with her. Was I falling in love with her? No way… I’ve heard of being attracted to your relatives, but falling in love with them? Impossible. Although, it sure did feel like I was crushing on her, hard.

I did end up jerking off that night, but only after a long night of thinking. I came, to the vision in my mind of her butt, jiggling up and down and back and forth as she walked, and I turned over and fell asleep, anxious to spend some more time with her tomorrow.

I was ready to go; I had my bathing suit on, my towel under my arm, and my sunscreen on. I wanted to go to the pool. But moreso than that, I wanted to spend time with Jill.

We got to the pool, and set up our chairs and blankets. I took my shirt off and sat down. I watched Jill do the same, and I did so without her knowing, because I had sunglasses on, and she couldn’t see my eyes. She put down her bag, set up her chair, and…STARTED TAKING OFF HER SHIRT. Holy shit, I’d forgotten. Bikinis! Jill was wearing a fucking bikini, and I was about to be treated to the sight! She took off her shirt, and her beautiful, bountiful breasts were revealed, concealed only by a black bikini top. My mouth began to water. This was too much for me to handle. I just wasn’t ready.

And then went the shorts. Mother fucker. I was seeing Jill in full bikini glory. I was praying she’d jump in the pool and get nice and wet. But then something even better happened: she started putting sunscreen on herself. Oh lord, what a gift. It was as if someone on high knew I was going to die that day, and wanted me to die happy. I watched her rub that sunscreen all over her chest, belly, and thighs. It was probably the greatest thing I’d ever seen. I felt like I was going to cum in my pants right then and there. Thankfully, I didn’t.

After about a half hour of sitting, Jill decided to lie down to get in a tan. She laid out a towel right at my feet, and lied on her stomach. I had the perfect view of her perfect ass. While she was laying down, she undid her top, to avoid tan lines. So she was lying down, with nothing supporting her breasts. I was using all of my energy, praying that she’d forget, and accidentally stand up without her bikini top, revealing to me — and the rest of the swim club — her beautiful, bountiful breasts. But it never happened.

Another half hour passed, and I wanted to go in the pool. I was hot, and bored. “Anyone wanna go in the pool?” I asked. Nobody seemed interested. So I went to the edge of the pool, and put my feet in. Five minutes later, someone sat down next to me.

“Sup kiddo.” It was Jill.

“Oh, hey!” I was so happy. The two of us never really hung out just one-on-one. She put her feet in the water.

“Holy shit, it’s cold!” she laughed. “So what’s up? We never talk. I have no clue what’s going on in your mind.”

“You don’t wanna know,” I said, smiling.

“Yes I do,” she replied. “You’re my cousin. We should talk.” If she knew what was going on in my mind, she’d have been singing an entirely different tune. “So what’s up?”

“Nothing, really,” I said. It was the honest truth. It was the only thing I could say that wasn’t ‘I want to fuck your brains out’.

“Come on, there has to be something.” She was really badgering me. I had to come up with something to say. This was the first time in…EVER…that it was just us two.

“Well, I’m actually looking forward to going back to school.” It was true. It was going to be my sophomore year of high school, and I was pretty excited.

“Well that’s good!”

“Yeah, I usually hate school, so this is a nice change.”

“What is it about this time has you excited?” We talked for a good twenty-or-so minutes, about school, her experience in college, and different things. It was the best day I’d had all summer. And the fact that she’d once saw me cumming was not an issue at all. I don’t know if it was on her mind at all, but it wasn’t on mine. This relationship was going to work, without anything weird getting in the way. So what if I was attracted to my cousin? It’ll just be a thing about me that no one will ever know.

But that night, I couldn’t sleep. All I could do was think about her. Her smile, her voice, our great conversation… Why? What was going on? Am I…falling in love with my cousin? No way. That’s just one step too far. I eventually got to sleep, but it took hours of staring at my ceiling, thinking about Jill’s gorgeous face.

She left the next morning, and it made me far more upset than usual. How many times has she gone home after a weekend visit, and it’s never really upset me before. But this time I didn’t want her to leave. Something was wrong. This was not okay.

Weeks went by, and she was still on my mind most of the time. Anytime I would think of her, I got butterflies in my stomach (not to mention, a boner). I had to do something about it. Either talk to someone, or just get her off my mind somehow.

But months went by, and she was still on my mind. I was still jerking off to the thought of her, and I was still getting butterflies when I thought about her. I just could not keep her off my mind. What the fuck was going on? I had to talk to someone. I needed help. But who do I talk to? My mom? My dad? My sisters? Jill herself? None of those options seemed like a good idea. Fuck it. This is just going to have to be my little — nay, big — secret.

That summer visit was the last time I would see her for quite a while. For one reason or another, we just couldn’t schedule a visit. So almost a year later was what we finally settled on. It was summer again, and as it turned out, it was the weekend of my birthday that she was coming. What a birthday gift.

Turns out, I hated seeing her. Knowing I could never have her was pissing me off, and the fact that she was within my grasp made me want to snatch her up and kiss her as I squeezed her ass. But I couldn’t. I wasn’t allowed, and that put me in the worst of moods. So I avoided her as much as I could, while also trying not to be rude, and avoiding suspicion.

Saturday came; my birthday. And everyone treated me like a king. It’s what we do in our family — whosever birthday it is, gets treated like royalty. It definitely brought my mood up. Not to mention, I was also turning 16, and would finally be able to drive. It was an exciting day for me.

That evening, we were going to dinner. We each took a shower, and I agreed to go last. When Jill was in the shower, I went in my room to get my outfit that I was going to wear. As I was leaving my room, something caught my eye: by the door, on top of her bag, was her underwear. Her bra and panties. Just sitting there, begging to be picked up. Was I really that sleazy? Have I sunken that far? The answer was yes.

I shut my door, picked up her panties, and gave the crotch a nice sniff. It didn’t really smell like anything. So I went in for the lick. Didn’t taste like anything. But to be honest, I didn’t care. They touched her naked pussy. That’s all I cared about. I was licking the place that rubbed against her pussy for hours. It was the greatest birthday present I could have asked for, and I didn’t even ask for it. I did the same with her bra, and went back and forth between the two, going to town for about a minute, and got out of there before she even knew I’d been in there.

Being a 16-year-old boy, it didn’t take me long to get ready, so I was watching TV in the living room, waiting on everyone else. After about a half hour, everyone was ready, except Jill. We were waiting on her.

When she finally came down the steps, I was at a loss for words. She was….stunning! All she was wearing was jeans and a t-shirt, but something about the way everything fit, and the way she’d done her hair and makeup…I’d never seen someone so drop-dead gorgeous. I wanted to tell her, but I didn’t want to sound weird.

“You look…” I mustered. Come on, Alex. Think of something! Any word!

“Yes..?” she asked as she smiled, confused.

“Very pretty.”

“Aw, thanks!” she gave me a hug. And once again, her fantastic breasts pushed against me, giving me yet another boner.

The entire night, all I could think about was what I’d said. Very pretty? Seriously? That’s the best I could come up with? How about ‘gorgeous’ or ‘beautiful’ or ‘out-of-this-world sexy’? Right. Those would all sound excessively creepy. She’s my cousin, not my girlfriend. Oh, how I wished she was my girlfriend… I didn’t care if she was 30, and I was 16. We could hang out all day, fuck, spend time together, fuck, talk to each other, and fuck. It would be the life…

She went home the following morning, and it was a bummer saying goodbye. But for some reason, I felt better. I felt like I’d accomplished something. I told her she was pretty and it made her happy. I got to lick her bra and panties. Plus, I was going to take my driver’s test today. It was a good weekend. But again, once she was gone, all I could do was think about her.

Six months later, at around Christmas time, I got my license. I felt like a new man, holding it in my hand. And it was Christmas time that we were going to see Jill. This time, though, it was a big family get-together. My parents, my sisters, Jill, her parents (my aunt and uncle), her sister (my other cousin), and myself, were all meeting at our grandparents’ house for dinner on Christmas Eve.

Her sister, Jen, wasn’t even close to being as attractive as Jill, so I wasn’t attracted to her in the slightest. In fact, they hardly even look alike.

We got to my grandparents’ house, and everyone was dressed up nicely. I, myself, was dressed in a sweater and khakis. We all hugged, and kissed, and said hello, but Jill was nowhere around. Then she entered the room. My jaw dropped. I thought she looked good on my birthday? I was wrong by a long shot. I had never seen anything so insanely beautiful in my entire life. It was taking all my might not to pounce her and kiss her right on the mouth. She was wearing black dress pants with gray vertical stripes, a dark red button-down blouse, and a small black cardigan over top. On top of that, her hair was wavy, and her makeup was pristine. Holy shit, was she heavenly. I stood in amazement as she walked around, giving hugs. When she got to me, I was just staring at her, blankly.

“Hello?” she said, smiling with her arms out. I snapped back into it.

“Sorry!” I gave her the biggest hug I could ever give anyone. I even gave her a kiss on the cheek.

“Wow! Someone’s happy to see me!” I pulled away instantly. Fuck. That was too much. Wait…did she feel my boner? Fuck. Fuck! FUCK! I just sat down and ignored it, hoping no one heard her or saw how big of a hug I gave her. This was weird. I’d gone too far this time. But she just laughed and sat on the couch next to me. She slapped my thigh. “So I hear you got your license! That’s awesome!”

“Yeah, I’m so excited. I feel like I should’ve been driving for years, now.”

“So do you know how to drive a stick shift yet?”

“No, I never had the chance to learn.”

“Well you do now.” She stood up. I just gave her a confused look. “It’s tradition! I taught both of your sisters when they got their licenses, so now I’m gonna teach you!”

“You have a stick shift?”

“Yup! Always have! Let’s go!” No way could I pass up this opportunity. She told everyone where we were going, and we were off.

I got in the driver’s seat, and she got in the passenger’s seat. I put my hand on the stick, but I was at a loss. What the hell do I do? I know it’s not as simple as shifting the gear. There’s a clutch or something, right? Luckily, she read my mind.

“Here,” she said, as she put her hand on top of mine. I got a tingle down my spine. I had a small smile on my face, but I don’t think she noticed in the dark. “Now put your foot on the clutch.”

She taught me how to drive a stick, keeping her hand on top of mine for the first ten to fifteen minutes. I was in heaven. She eventually let go and said, “Alright, you’re on your own now. Go!” And I did it. In just a short fifteen minutes, I was driving a stick shift like I’d been doing it my whole life. She was a great teacher, and she was lots of fun. We laughed and we talked for the whole lesson, and it was a blast.

We pulled into the driveway, and just as we were getting out of the car, she said something that made a perfect night just serene.

“We should hang out more often.” She didn’t know it, because she was walking into the house in front of me, but I had the biggest smile on my face.