The Brown Blogger

‘When life is a piece of shit, try and have fun’



You know how everyone says their job is shit? Well, mine is. Literally. So this is the tale of how I ended up, not just doing porn, I mean, yeah, daddy issues, blah, blah, but how I ended up doing scat porn and the person responsible for it. Aside from my dad, that is. Ah, just kidding, dad. Love you lots!

No the one person responsible was a man. It’s always a man for us girls, and me a bit as well, I guess. So who am I? Well, when this story starts, I’m Judy Bellingham, 21 y/o, at uni studying English Lit.

I’m 5’4, shoulder-length dark hair, glasses, kind of nerdy, curvy, not fat but not slim either, big boobs, always loved my boobs, and my bum, it’s a generous bum. Legs are okay, but supermodel legs they are not. No tats, but I have a belly button piercing which is about as ‘out there’ as I get.

I have an exhibitionist streak though, and I like men, and I like sex. I will fool around with girls, but I like men. A lot. Short men, tall men, fat guys, thin guys. Old dudes. Young dudes. Yeah, I like men. I’m a regular girl with no real hang-ups, well except for my legs, and a girl who likes guys who like fun. It’s not complicated. Truthfully I’m not a complicated girl.

For extra cash, I dabble in a bit of modelling. You like a girl getting her tits out while you take pics? Then I’m okay with that as long as you pay. And yeah, I know you also want to see full-on naked girls, and I’m cool with that too.

You want to see my veejay? Sure, okay it costs a little more, oh, you want full open leg? Hey, just pony up, and we’re fine. So I’m soon doing open pussy sets, but again that wasn’t entirely my fault. Danielle, who ran a small photographic studio and had an endless supply of overweight guys (no fat shaming, Judes) with a camera to hide behind, was always saying, ‘just show a little bit more babe, and there will be a bit more cash for you’, in her Danish accent.

So I had no problem supplementing my income by prancing around in the nude or pretending to be super horny while playing with myself. I always have fun playing ‘Jugs Judy’.

Yeah, that’s my modelling name. I didn’t think to choose a fake name and given my boobs, ‘Jugs Judy’ was what I became. The trick is having people remember you. People remembered ‘Jugs Judy’, and I’m low maintenance, friendly and reliable. That last one will keep you employed as an adult model a lot longer than looks or big boobs.

This guy then, you want me to get to him? Okay, his name was Steve, thirties, confident, bit arrogant, good looking. His mate Barry was the opposite, shyer, and liked taking pictures of me. Well, not just me, any girl really. Steve sometimes came along, grinning as I got my tits out, and giving me the look. You know the look. The look says, ‘hey I’m cool, I’m fun. I have a big cock’. Arrogant tosser.

But he was fun, made me laugh, so we swapped numbers, had drinks, made out a couple of times and then ended up in bed. Steve was good in bed. No hang-ups, no weird kinks, liked a laugh and was a good kisser. We had fun.

And then it all went to shit.

This one time we were a bit drunk, and just finished a nice meal out. I’m feeling good, Steve is treating me nice, because he is a charming bastard when he wants to be, and we are back at his apartment necking on his couch before he carries me to the bedroom as I shed clothes everywhere. Which turned out to be a smart move.

I’m ripping off his shirt and undoing his jeans, damn he had a lovely cock, not too big, not too small, just hitting the spot. He has his cock in my mouth, god he tasted good too, his balls are heavy and warm – don’t you just love balls? You just want to eat them.

And then we are fucking. My legs are wrapped around him, he is nibbling my ear, and squeezing my arse, his cock is banging my pussy, then a change of pace bit slower more measured, but still nice. Then his cock slips out, and he rubs against my arsehole.

“My dick fancies a change of scenery,” he whispers all charm and seduction.

I hesitate for a fraction as a girl has to make sure everything is like, okay down there, but the mood is good, and the sex is good, and I’m a heady mix of endorphins and alcohol.

“Sure babe, do in me in the ass,” and he slips inside me easily enough. I’m relaxed, my juices are acting as lube and hey, it ain’t my first time.

And it’s all good, he isn’t that deep inside me, and I’m all dreamy, the sex is still fantastic, and then he pulls out and tips me over on all fours.

“Whoa, steady there boy,” I giggle.

“I want to get deeper, Judes, fuck your sexy ass.”

I’m too gone to care, and I like being manhandled during sex, so I’m all, ‘Yeah, fuck my ass, babe, fuck me like a dirty bitch’. So he did.

About 10 seconds in I’m thinking this may be a mistake, 20 seconds in I know it’s a huge fucking mistake.

I have a pain in my gut, and the urgent need to take a shit and his cock now balls deep, is the catalyst for potential disaster.

“Babe, you have to stop,” I said, trying to remain calm. “Babe! Steve, for fuck’s sake!” I say more urgently this time.

“You all right?” He finally gasps still pumping into me, his strong grip making sure I can’t wriggle away.

“No, I’m fucking not!” My concern is starting to penetrate his fogged brain. “I’ve got to go and go right now!”

“Go where babe?”

Fuck’s sake.

“You want me to spell it out? I need to go to the bathroom.”

“You need to piss? Now?” He sounded miffed.

“No not piss you fucking idiot, I need to, you know,” look I’m a lady, we don’t go around advertising our toilet habits.

“Eh? Oooh!” The penny drops and the fucker starts laughing.

“Am I stirring the poop pot?” He grins and starts rotating his hips with his dick in my ass.

“Cut that shit out,” I snap. “It ain’t funny!”

“No its hot, come on baby, shit for me,” he slams deep inside me, hooking his arms around my tummy and squeezing.

“Owww for fuck’s sake you fucking bastard, get your cock out of my arse!” I gurgle, trying to unhook his arms.

“Sure babe.”

The release of his dick was like pulling the plug, and I’m shitting everywhere, it’s flowing down the back of my legs, and the sick bastard is trying to stick his cock in me again. I’m screaming abuse, can’t stop shitting, and he’s trying to quieten me down and fuck me at the same time, all of which leads to him pulling me up by my hips and me sliding back into my own stinking mess. I stop yelling now that I’m chin deep in my own shit.

I guess at this point you’re thinking ‘she lands in her own shit, likes it and ends up fucking him in the messy bed, yay!’ Well, this is real life, so no it didn’t. Instead, I elbow him hard in the stomach, scramble out and make my way crying to the bathroom. Shitty footprints everywhere and me trying to hold the shit still coming out with my hand.

I sat on the floor sobbing for 10 minutes, trying to wipe myself clean for another 10 and then grabbed a shower.

By the time I’m out Steve is bunging shitty sheets into bin bags. He looks up as I came through picking up some of my clothes. At least he had the decency to look a bit sheepish.

“Sorry babe.”

“Fuck off and drop dead.”

“In that order?”

“You think this is fucking funny?”

“Well, a bit and it was fucking hot, Judes.”

I gaped at him in fury

“And if you think about it, it was you shitting everywhere, I mean who is the wronged party here?” He spread his arms with that cocksure grin annoying the fuck out of me.

It was the first and only time I’ve ever gone for someone. Steve was 6 foot and strong, but I got in enough tasty kicks and punches before he subdued me.

“Okay,” he growled, “I’ll let you have that, but do it again, and I’ll slap you back and hard.” His eyes said he meant it.

I nodded and he let me go.

“Rest of my clothes?” I ask coldly.

“On the chair over there. You missed them in the great shitting disaster of the decade.”

“Fuck you,” I said again. Trembling, I called an Uber and vowed never to see him again.

I refused to see Barry as well, which upset him, but I didn’t want to see him and have Steve tag along with his shit-eating cocky grin, so I said tough. Danielle is okay with it, but she did ask why when Barry offered more money. We all knew Barry was harmless, so it seemed odd to her. I told her why.

“You really shit the bed, hun? Oh, dear,” tears are streaking down her cheeks. Tears of laughter, obviously. Danielle was in her mid-forties, great figure, blonde and been working in the adult industry since she was 19. Nothing fazed or shocked her, and she wasn’t big on cuddles or sympathy. “You, you shit the bed, you get it? Its an expression!” Danielle shrieked, dabbing her eyes with a tissue.

“Yeah, I get it. Hilarious. Please stop, my sides are aching,” I said crossly, but I was trying not to laugh. It did have its funny side.

“He stick his dick in your ass then boom! Shit bomb!” She mimicked an explosion. “Oh god, I’m going to piss myself!”

By now I’m howling with laughter too. She is a great woman Danielle. Love her to bits. Cow.

I say cow because it was Danielle’s fault what happens next. A week or so after I reveal the ‘shit bomb’ experience, she rings me up with a modelling assignment. Great, I say. Pay is very good, she says. Even better, I say.