The Big Bang Theory Chapter 1: The Disappearing Pussy Paradox

The Big Bang Theory Chapter 1: The Disappearing Pussy Paradox

Hey Guys, It’s good to be back. Sorry about my hiatus from writing I’ve been busy with a lot of stuff, still am if I want to be honest but came up with a great idea and had to start a new story. So basically The Big Bang Theory is one of my favourite shows, and you’ve got to love all the hot chicks hanging around with those guys, gives the rest of us nerds hope. So was recently trolling the web and suddenly thought (as you do), is there any Big Bang Theory erotica out there? There was a lot of fan fiction with no real detail but implied sex, plus 1 story on literotica (sorry xnxx peeps, I was weak) that was alright. So to cut a long story short I thought, why not write my own, and here is my first chapter. So as I was writing this I looked back at some of my old stories and saw a bunch of comments from the other readers asking for new stories and complaining about me not posting in ages. One person was even telling everyone that I was probably dead, not that death would slow down my perverted brain :P. However I realise that I left a lot of you hanging so I deeply apologise for my lack of writing and I hope this new story makes it up to you.

Standard disclaimer, I’m not a literary pro just a talented amateur and fan, so don’t expect the writing style and wit of the original show. Also this is a sex story about the Big Bang Theory if that offends you, please stop reading and do not leave any irritating comment. I’m going to be changing the story lines and personality of the characters so it’s not going to be 100%. Keep in mind it’s a sex story, you’re all reading this to get off so please don’t send a bunch of comments about how the characters wouldn’t do this or that, or that a tiny detail is wrong and ruins the whole story. Please read and enjoy, I’ll be interested in legit feedback, so creative criticisms only please.

BTW I’m setting this around the 4th season of the show because the storyline then fits in well with my ideas. This one starts off a little slow to build up the story but read through it and it heats up. It’s also a little longer than I expected, but this is mainly to build up the story, the next few will probably be shorter.


This is a story about four nerds who live in Pasadena and work at Caltech. Their lives may sound similar to those of other nerds around the world and might have ended the same if not for an incredibly hot and sexually active blonde who moved in next door to them. As the years went by they have started to enjoy a high rate, if not improbable, amount of success with various attractive females. This series will chronicle some of the exploits of these men and the women they fuck and show that even nerds can attract some serious pussy.

As we start our chronicle we first look upon one Leonard Hofstadter, a short and brilliant physicist, whose life recently has not been going to plan. Leonard was somewhat depressed that day as he sat in his office in the Caltech physics department. Parts of his life were going good, he had money, his career and his research were all progressing nicely, it was the women in his life that was vexing him. He had recently broken up with his hot and sexy neighbour Penny and after a series of breakups, arguments and flings the two had both agreed to go their separate ways. Leonard however was still hang up slightly Penny and regretted breaking up with her, not just for the incredible sex but for her personality and kindness, all the things he had loved her for. He had been reluctant to start any new relationships and had hoped that Penny would feel the same; he now knew this was unlikely to be the case.

Last night he had heard noises coming from the stairway outside his apartment, opening his door he had seen Penny entering her room next door with a tall, athletic looking guy. Soon the sounds of moaning and a rhythmic creaking could be heard from Penny’s apartment and Leonard knew that
Penny was getting fucked hard.

Leonard couldn’t understand why he was so upset, it’s not like this was the first time he had seen Penny with a guy after they had broken up. He knew that she was a very sexually active female who loved to be fucked all the time. He had always known in the back of his mind that she had probably been seeing other men. However now that he knew for sure it was a little devastating and he wasn’t quite sure what to do. He had tried talking to his friends but that had been somewhat unhelpful. Between the jokes, the comparisons of his relationships to train wrecks and scientific problems nothing too useful had been suggested. The only point of interest had been an offhand closing comment from Howard that he should get laid and forget about Penny. The last idea had merit and maybe it was time for him to get back into the saddle. As he was thinking hard about this suggested solution the door to his office opened and in walked Leslie Winkle.

Leslie Winkle was another member of the Caltech Physics department who has had an interesting history with Leonard and his friends. Leonard and Leslie had hooked up over the years, sometimes as a result of Leonard’s obsession with Penny. They had even attempted a relationship once but that had been ruined by Leonard’s roommate and Leslie’s rival Sheldon, who had dragged Leonard and Leslie into a debate on theoretical physics which resulted in a difference of opinion. After their relationship failed, Leslie had started a casual sexual relationship with Howard which didn’t last too long. Leonard had last seen her when he had attempted to sleep with her again, an attempt that failed quite terribly. That had been some weeks ago (not actually sure of the difference between season 3 and 4 so keeping it at weeks) and Leonard had not seen her since.

“Leslie, hey, it’s great to see you” Leonard said standing up from his deck and moving to great her. “Hey Leonard long time no see, how have you been?” she responded moving into the room to greet her. “It has been a long time, I haven’t seen you in weeks and no one quite seemed to know where you were they just said you had gone, it was like one of those TV shows where one of the characters disappears and nobody talks about it” (well she’s been gone for 2 seasons now and no one talks about it). Leslie smiled “I had one of those military jobs that no one is allowed to talk about which kept me away for a couple of weeks”.

Explanations aside the two physicists started to discuss their work on string theory, dark matter, lasers and all manner of highly scientific topics. As the conversation on the progress of the Boson collider and the search for the god particle concluded, Leslie brought to conversation around to discussing Leonard’s love life. “So I know that it’s been a while since I last saw you but you’re looking more unsettled than usual. It is true the last time you saw me you were acting as confident as possible so that you could propositioned me for coitus but even so your emotional state has apparently deteriorated significantly since we last spoke”. Leonard made a little noise in the back of his throat and gave an embarrassed cough “oh you remember that, umm I was a little unbalanced at the time”.

Leslie smiled “and I’m sure your all better now, it’s been about 8 or so weeks (again really not certain of time differences) since you broke up with Barbie but it looks like something’s brought the memories to the surface again”. Leonard, suddenly regretting trying to hide his emotional state in a building full of highly intellectual people, looked around annoyed “have the guys been talking again?” “No” replied Leslie, “these were conclusions I drew from general knowledge, observations of you and by reading your Facebook status, so what’s wrong?”

“Look its nothing” said Leonard “it’s just that I saw Penny with another guy and they went into her apartment and, and, and nothing, I’m probably just thinking the worst”. Leslie just looked at him slowly “you’re fooling no one but yourself” she said. “What do you mean by that?” “I mean you know what was going on in there, Barbie is a screamer when she gets fucked, I’m sure you always know when she’s getting some”. Leonard’s eyes widened but Leslie cut him off “and yes, before you ask, your friends told me that, well Sheldon implied it when he gave soundproofing specs to Howard when you and Penny were dating”. Leonard calmed down a little “oh I was wondering why he soundproofed his room, I figured he was doing inhuman experiments or plotting world domination and didn’t want to violate the roommate agreement with excess noise”.

Leslie laughed “Oh that dumbass was never one for subtlety, but am I wrong?” she asked. Leonard laughed bitterly before responding “ha, no you’re right I could hear her getting fucked from our place, I’m not going to lie it makes me feel a little jealous, but you know how it is”. Leslie sighed, “I wouldn’t know all that much about it, not too many serious relationships for me. Having no real emotional attachments is one of the downsides of multiple sexual attachments”. “Yeah that’s a real downside” replied Leonard sarcastically “it must be up there with pregnancies, surprise bondage and kidnapping”. After a few moments of contemplation Leslie responded “hmmm, pregnancies could potentially be problematic, the other two can be fun if the other person knows what they’re doing”. Leonard paused and stared at Leslie, silence filled the room before they both burst out laughing, “wow we are such big idiots when it comes to love” Leslie concluded. (Btw Leslie really is portrayed as this sexually liberated in the show, check the episodes where she’s fucking Leonard and then Howard).

Still laughing, Leonard nodded in agreement, before a brilliant brainwave prompted him to say “can I propose an experiment?” “I propose that, in order to forget and overcome our mutual problems relating to high level human socialisation and interaction, we spend tonight ingesting beverages which severely affect the brain chemistry and our emotional state in order to help alleviate prior attachments”. Leslie nodded in agreement “so essentially you want us to go out and get drunk” “pretty much yeah”. After a few moments of thinking Leslie nodded in ascent “sounds good, I also believe that your experiment would help alleviate the memories of our past relationships and failings”. “Ok” Leonard replied “so I’ll see you tonight?” Leslie turned to leave “yeah that sounds good”. She paused in the doorway before turning around “just remember professor, during experiments, unexpected side effects can suddenly happen” she said, winking seductively at Leonard before sauntering out of his lab.

Needless to say Leonard was in a good mood for the rest of the day. It wasn’t long before he was heading home to prepare himself for that night. Leonard’s bad mood had vanished and today was looking up, nothing could spoil his day, not even Sheldon. His roommate had left before Leonard was even ready, saying something about trains, comic books, 3D chess and his sort of girlfriend Amy. Leonard was just happy that Sheldon was out of the apartment, he wasn’t sure what was going to happen tonight but he sure as hell didn’t need Sheldon screwing it up again. He was in a positive frame of mind all the way out the door, until he ran into Penny outside his apartment carrying a basket of laundry.

“Oh, hey Leonard” said Penny in an awkward sort of way “you’re looking very sharp, got a hot date or something” she said with a nervous giggle at the end. “Penny, hey” Leonard said, his cheerful optimism that had followed him for most of the day bobbing to the surface once more and injected itself into his speech. “No, it’s not a date, just drinks with Leslie” Leonard responded, his voice sounded unnaturally cheerful and confident, which was odd considering how many different emotions were battling within himself. “Leslie” Penny said slowly “as in Leslie Winkle, that slu.. I mean professor you dated from your physics department?” “Yeah, that one I hooked up with that time and dated for a bit”, dammit, thought Leonard, this always happens when I get nervous around women, I become way too honest.