Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Fanfic Chapter 10 – Closing – The Choice

By Hana M Brimeck

Master Splinter and I sit alone in the dojo. His demeanor is more serious than usual, he doesn’t have the air of Sensei today, something else is going on. My heart is pounding, my mouth is dry, I have no idea what he’s going to tell me, get the fuck out of here Aimee? You’re no longer welcome. I know you’re banging my sons you whore. It takes every bit of inner strength to stay quiet and continue to look him in the eyes.

It is like being back in school and being called into the principal’s office because I am in major trouble or being called into the boss’s office to be fired. My palms are sweating, my stomach in knots, my mind running in a million directions wondering, what is he going to say?

Master Splinter shatters the silence “It has come to my attention that my sons have fallen for you. Donatello and Raphael, these are unfortunate circumstances and I don’t want this to become an issue, jealously made me lose everything once I don’t want to see it happen again.”

I jump in my skin, try to swallow before speaking but I can’t, “I understand Master Splinter, I’m sorry Master Splinter. I didn’t mean for this to happen. The truth is I deeply care for and love them both.” I bow my head.

“I see. At this point I must ask that you choose only one. I have discussed this in depth with my son’s and they understand that whatever you choose is must be honored.”

Choose, between them? My heart sinks, it hurts “Master Splinter I don’t know if I can. It would break one of their hearts.” Not to mention my own.

“You must, you’re lucky I’m not asking you to leave all together but I know that wouldn’t solve this. You are in their hearts as much as they’re in yours and I can’t simply ask them to forget you. I know that would be impossible.”

That cut me deep, leave all together? No longer have the guys in my life? It felt as though a blade pierced my heart when he said that. I fall forward, tears running down my face, a hand over my heart trying to dull the pain.” Choose one…?” I whisper through my tears.

Splinter kneels down next to me, gently placing his hand on my shoulder, “I know this is a difficult task Aimee. I also know this is a challenge you are able to overcome. It would be best if you took some time to yourself and meditated on this. I ask you search within yourself. Each of my sons have their strengths and weaknesses, some are one in the same. Take each of these into consideration and think about who you would be able to make the commitment to. Until then they have been instructed to keep their distance, for their and your sake.”

Wow, this is a lot to handle. It feels as though the weight of the world is bearing down on my heart. It aches with each beat. Tears are flooding from my eyes. I can’t see, I can’t breathe– Oh my chest hurts. I collapse into Splinter’s arms crying. I love them both. I don’t want to give either of them up. I know it’s not fair to them but I just can’t bear the thought of not having them around either. It feels as though razors are pumping through my veins, with every beat of my heart pumps the blood slicing into me, each beat it hurts more than the last, my body feels so cold.

“This isn’t the end Aimee, my son’s will still be around. They will still be there for you, but only one with be with you.”

Master Splinter dismisses me to go reflect on what we talked about. I feel so dizzy. I finally gather myself to make my way back to the surface, back to my apartment, alone. I don’t really remember how I managed to get home. I could barely see, barely breath. I’m not sure if anyone saw me and if they did they certainly didn’t care. I can’t really blame them. In this city nothing is your business. The thought of the loneliness this city came bearing down on me, bringing the tears back. I collapse on my floor crying, hyperventilating. This is too much, I can’t handle this. I don’t want to be inside my own body right now.

It isn’t necessarily having to choose one that’s getting me, it’s telling the other one they’re not as important to me. How am I supposed to tell someone who has saved me, loved me, made love to me, trained me to defend myself, and watched me practically every night that they’re not as important to me as I am to them, that I don’t love them as much as they love me. That I’m not just as grateful to them. The weight of this decision is just too much. It’s choking me.

After… after… well honestly I have no idea how long I laid on the floor. I couldn’t care less about the time right now. I did finally drag myself into my bedroom and am now lying in bed, staring at the ceiling and am trying to focus on how in the world I am going to make this decision. I can’t concentrate to even begin to evaluate the guys. Their strength’s, their weaknesses, what I want with my life. Who would be the best partner?

I took a deep breath trying to calm myself and focus.