Stolen Innocence – Chapter 1

I used to care, I really did. I had a bright future ahead of me. I still think I am pretty and smart, I am just having trouble figuring out what that is really worth in the real world. My name is Taylor, I am a sophomore in high school and I used to be excited to go to school. Now it seems all worthless, I can’t figure out what I will ever do with some of the stuff I am “learning”. I am still a cheerleader and I still participate but I find it hard to smile. I can do the routines because they are burnt into my muscle memory and the lack of emotion actually helps me execute. My coach says I am doing better than ever. Figures. I am a waitress at a diner and I used to love my job. I still like the money but the fire is not there. The people I work with are great and the customers are a lot of fun. I used to be sarcastic and funny, the perfect greasy spoon waitress. But, that was before it happened.

“Honey, do you want to go shopping for a cute dress for your spring dance?” My Mom said.

I look up from my cereal to see her concerned face. She is trying so hard. I used to love shopping with my Mom. I do remember that and our trips to the mall were loads of fun. I want to have that again, but I just can’t seem to connect.

“Sure. I get off work at 4:00, we can go then.” I said, trying hard to sound excited.

I could tell she saw right through me and was disappointed. Her cute, bubbly little girl had been replaced by this apathetic shell. I tried to smile at her but it came off as a little smirk. I took another bite of cereal.

It was my birthday weekend when it all changed. I was turning 15 and it seemed like my entire family was in town. I remember meeting cousins I didn’t even know existed. We must have had 30 people at the house that day. My birthday was actually on Friday but the big party was Saturday. We had a BBQ in the backyard and played a lot of games. My family is very well off so we have a beautiful in-ground pool. There was a lot of swimming that day. I wore my black bikini all day with my little jean shorts and a small t-shirt as cover-ups. I know the whole thing was my fault. I’m sure the bikini didn’t help. He must have seen somehow.

The party lasted until well into the evening and we ended up playing cards with my young cousins and uncles until almost 10:00. People started leaving and eventually it was just the three of us left. My mom and dad were exhausted as was I. We had been going since 7:00 that morning. We looked around at the mess and decided it would be there tomorrow and we would clean it up then. I wanted to take a shower before bed, so I kissed them good night and went into my room.

My cereal was done. Well, I was done with it. I felt full even though I had only eaten a small amount. My Mom is worried about that. I am sort of worried too but I am just not hungry most of the time. I only weigh 95 now, I have lost 10 lbs in the two weeks since it happened. My cheerleading coach doesn’t mind, we are getting way more air now. I guess that’s a good thing. I dump my bowl in the sink and go upstairs to dress. I look down at my sponge bob pajama pants and the memories flood back.

I remember the shower that night felt wonderful and I felt more awake. I knew the feeling wouldn’t last though as my little body would collapse from exhaustion very soon. My body is small and tight, I am 5’2” tall and used to weigh 105 lbs on a good day. My hair is blonde and is about 4 or 5 inches past my shoulders. I usually straighten it, it’s a little wavy when I leave it alone. My boobs are small, but they look good on my tiny frame. I can fill out a t-shirt nicely without looking flat. My nipples were very sensitive though so I had to be careful to wear a bra or a thick shirt. My hips were starting to get rounded and I did like the way I looked in a pair of jeans or shorts. My legs were and still are my best feature, they are tan and looked long, especially under a cheerleading skirt. I used to get compliments on them all the time. I got out of the shower and slipped on a t-shirt, panties, and these very same sponge bob pants. I left my hair wet and it was already starting to curl up a little. I did always like the way it looked wet.

My room is a mess. I can’t seem to get motivated to clean it. Sort of like my life now. No motivation to do anything. He took that from me, the bastard. I get so angry when I think of that night and what he did to me. How dare he? How dare he take my future, crush all my dreams in one night? I have had visions of what I would do to him if I ever find him. They are not pretty. I strip my clothes off and step into the shower. I close my eyes and remember more.

I remember thinking I was thirsty and went downstairs to get a drink of water. That was, and still is, a pretty much nightly thing, I always like a fresh glass of water before I go to bed. That hasn’t changed but now the fear comes with it. The lights were off downstairs but there was enough light in the kitchen for me to see where I was going and I used to like the dark, it was soothing. I guess he counted on that because I didn’t notice anything until I felt a hand over my mouth as I opened the cupboard to get a glass. I screamed but there was no sound as his hand was completely over my mouth. I should have bit him, but hey, hindsight is 20/20. I would be way more vicious now, at least I think I would. I struggled but his other hand grabbed my left arm and pulled it hard behind my back. I got the message and stopped moving.

“Calm down, baby girl.” I remember him whispering in my ear, his hot breath on my neck.

I stayed still, trying to slow down my breathing and not panic. He was not moving either, just holding his hand over my mouth and my arm far enough up in the back to be on the edge of pain. I knew if he pushed it any farther up it would really hurt.

“We are going to walk into the living room very slowly.” He whispered.

He turned me and led me into the living room. My bare feet felt the carpet as we moved out of the kitchen. The living room, while attached to the bright kitchen, was very dark. The shades were drawn so no light got in from the outside. He moved me to the middle of the floor and whispered in my ear again. I felt his hot breath on my neck again and I shivered. A slight whiff of cinnamon swept across me.

I step out of the shower and stand there dripping. I remember the feeling of helplessness and the apathy hits me hard again. I have to work really hard to reach out for the towel. I wrap it around myself and go into my room. My waitress uniform is on the bed, pressed and clean. I feel tears well up, my Mom is so wonderful. I wish I could be wonderful back to her. I sit down and cry, I do that a lot nowadays.

“Here is how this is going to work, sweetie. I know Mommy and Daddy are sleeping upstairs. If you are nice and quiet they will not get hurt. If you are not nice and quiet you will get to watch them get hurt pretty bad and then you my little one will not live to see 16. Do you understand?” He said very slowly.

I remember my breathing stopping and my heart skipping a beat. That was when I started crying that night. I felt my eyes well up and the tears started to flow. It was the fear that did it, I was terrified. I stayed perfectly still and nodded my head.

“Ok, I am going to take my hand off your mouth. Here is your first test. Not a peep, right?” he whispered.

I nodded again and then he moved his hand off slowly. I heard a ripping sound and then felt a thick piece of tape over my mouth. It felt and smelled like duct tape. I shuddered with fear again as my tears continued to flow. I heard the tape again and he pulled my arms behind me and taped them together at the wrists. I stood there shaking.

I slip on a white pair of panties and a white bra. I laugh a little through my tears at my patheticness. I hardly ever wore white underwear before, I always thought it was boring and lame. I guess I am boring and lame now. I slide the panties up over my hips, I tuck a few stray blonde hairs in. That is different now too, I haven’t shaved since that night. I can’t bring myself to do that anymore. I push my boobs into my bra and snap it shut. I step into my uniform and button it up the front. I used to open two buttons but now just one. I grab my phone and head downstairs. I really don’t want to see her before I leave, I will just start crying again and then she will be sad. I yell goodbye and scoot out the door. It is a 10 minute drive to work. I need the time to gather myself, but the memory plays on in my head.

“Alright baby girl, now we can talk. You see, I am going to fuck you senseless and you are going to stay nice and calm while I enjoy this pretty little body.” He whispered and I felt him run his hand down my right arm.

I started to cry harder. I let out a whimper through the tape and he grabbed my arm hard.