She’s My Best Friends Girl. pt 4

She’s My Best Friends Girl. pt. 4

I have been fighting with myself about “being in Love” ever again let alone being in love with my best friends wife. The feeling is wonderful but the inevitable fall is devastating.
It was the inevitable fall that really flooded my thoughts when my phone rang and I saw that it was Amy. Sometimes we want or have to ignore the things that make us uncomfortable, the things we don’t want to deal with.
I have done that for weeks now by ignoring Amy’s repeated attempts to contact me but I had an epiphany, at least I think I did but then again how can I tell the difference between epiphany and apathy right now.

Pushing the answer button I calmly spoke,
“Hello”, I answered.
“I’m surprised you answered me, why are you ignoring me”, Asked Amy.

“I’ve had a lot on my mind lately”, I said.

“So you fuck me, leave then ignore me ?, It made me feel worthless and”………….,Amy began to say as I cut her off.

“YOU TORE MY HEART OUT AND THREW IT AWAY THEN CALL TO GET TOGETHER AND TREAT ME LIKE WE NEVER HAD ANYTHING MEANINGFUL SO DON’T PREACH TO ME. YOU WANTED SEX THAT NIGHT AND YOU GOT IT”, I said in a very loud tone.

There was silence on the line except for some slight sniffles from Amy. I was mad and my short rant cleared things up for me and I realized my apathy was my epiphany. The lack of having feelings or considering others feelings is liberating. When I expressed what I just said to Amy wasn’t from the heart rather it was from anger, I was angry at myself for being stupid enough to believe in things like, “love, heart, feelings, commitment”, etc. This is all a sudden reversal for me considering Cindy and the feeling I have, had, thought I had, whatever, for her.
I was fooling myself again and I just had to suppress it, forget it and try to figure what Cindy and mine’s exit strategy would be. In other words how do her and I deal with our “feelings” and our expression of love, in word and actions then move on or away from it ?.
I was waiting for Amy’s response so I could fire back again, I was loaded and could shoot her stuff back at her all night if need be.

She finally spoke,
“So now you are acting like we had nothing by treating me like this”, she said.
She didn’t express it in a mocking fashion but was making a statement, a statement in which a response was expected.

Damn, I thought, she had me on that one. A wrong to serve justice with another wrong is just that, a wrong. I was cocked and loaded and now find myself with no response. With me now being silent she spoke again,

So you are showing me that I meant nothing to you OR………….(she paused) you now have feelings for someone else ?.
I had to shoot back so I did,

I’m done with feelings and all that shit, it causes nothing but pain and trouble”, I said.

I wanted to get off this subject because I had to bury and hide my feelings for Cindy. I had to get over it and let this thing die down and go away but I had no intention to hurt Cindy’s feelings so I had to figure a way to exit with integrity and feelings intact between Cindy and I. For all I know Cindy has been thinking the same thing.


“David, let’s get together and talk. There are unresolved issues we need to discuss”, she said.
I couldn’t let that one go and this was my chance to steer this conversation in another direction,

“Yeah, we did that already didn’t we”, I said.

“This would be different, she said.

Brad and Cindy had a party planned and since Amy would obviously be going, as well as I would, she wanted us to meet and talk prior to that party to ward of any awkwardness
We hung up with plans to “get together” again. She wanted to tonight but I suggested tomorrow evening. I needed time to think and reconcile what was inside of me. I knew that the best way to get over one is to get under another and the circumstance with Cindy filled that, for both of us.
I knew I couldn’t get back into a meaningful relationship with Amy, or possibly anyone else, but if there was resolution then perhaps her and I could move on.
I think this is why the thing with Cindy was really tolerable for me because I knew from the start there was a built in end to it. I have had those feelings though but this was the only way I could make sense of it all. Self analysis was all I could do or is it fooling myself…..is there a difference ?.

If Cindy and I were to “part” (meaning our sex sessions were done yet our feelings for each other were intact) then as long as it could be resolved like that then I knew I would be OK but it was important for me to know that she would be OK. This was totally different then the situation between Amy and I. She just plain dumped me in the middle of a serious relationship.
If Cindy and I were to just end it without some resolution then that breeds contempt, then anger bubbles up then revenge…………….
My original worries were now coming back to me and I knew I/we had a fine line to walk.

This time Amy came over to my place, there was no dinner planned so I didn’t have food prepared plus I wasn’t in the mood to take her out or anything like that.
I was confused and split between having feelings and not having them, between letting them surface and keeping them buried. What a mess I have made for myself, why did I fuck Cindy ?. After all this time I’m now feeling guilty because I fucked my best friends pregnant wife, yet another damn feeling. I can see where feelings can get in the way yet a lack thereof can cause trouble Hell, having them can to.
Having sex with Cindy was an opportunity and I took it, feelings had nothing to do with it at least from the start. I could have turned her down and went on undressing her with my eyes for the rest of our lives and things would be as they had been for many many years.

My thinking was interrupted by a knock at the door. I opened in and expected Amy to be decked out in another hot little dress, not this time though. She had on jeans and a purple silk top, she was “dressed down” (if that was possible) but the jeans only accentuated her curves and they were not the form fitting skinny jeans either. Her top didn’t have a plunging neck line but it was sleeveless and she had her long dark hair pulled back and fastened and had no makeup on.
She had the innocent “girl next door” look going on. If she would have had on a pair of glasses she would have the “hot librarian” look going on. All she had to do next was put her hair in pigtails, throw on a checkered red button up shirt and she would be the “farmers daughter”. The heat was instantly building in my groin just looking at her.
I wasn’t sure if she “didn’t dress” up because of her mood and she didn’t want to convey she was a hot temptress or if this was yet another way to distract me with the hidden hot innocent look or if she really wanted to dispense with the whole act and really tried to dress down and let passions rest.
Either way it wasn’t working for me, her look was turning me on but the look on her face and her demeanor was telling me she was serious and down to business.

We sat down and actually had a long serious talk, we hashed out feelings, (well her feelings mostly), troubles, wants, wishes, the future, etc.
I wasn’t being forthcoming obviously because of the Cindy/Brad situation but Amy was leading the conversation in many areas. When we crossed things that made her cry I would hold and comfort her but it appeared she was holding something back.

“David, after talking with Cindy the last few months about you I know I messed up what I had, what we had”, she said.
I looked into her eyes which conveyed sorrow however, she was also looking into my eyes and searching. I really didn’t have a response and I began to sense that all her talking this evening wasn’t really her confessing rather she was questioning me in a subtle way, she was seeking answers from me without just asking specific questions.
I wasn’t giving her the response she was seeking so she began to speak again,

Cindy speaks so highly of you David, it confirmed the things I really loved about you and the more Cindy talked the more glowingly she talked about you”, she said.

“Well we have known each other for a long time”, I said.

“Did you and Cindy ever have anything going on back in the day”, she asked.

“Nope, her and Brad were an item off and on back then”, I said.
Amy looked at me quizzically while slightly nodding her head.

“I just got the feeling that you two were close I mean the way she talks about you”…….her voice trailed off as she shrugged her shoulders.
I felt that my face went flush but at least now I knew where she had been steering the conversation to all evening. If her and Cindy did all the talking she claims then she would obviously know it from Cindy if her and I had anything going on back in the day.

“You know, I confided a lot in Cindy when you and I were together and the last few months she sounded like me when she talked about you”, Amy said still looking at me quizzically.

“Well there you go, she’s known me for a long time, assumed anything she didn’t know and you confiding in her filled in the gaps plus it was probably just her attempt promote me to you”, I said.
I didn’t like where this was all going but I was quick with an answer I figured would dissuade her from further inquiries.

“Yeah, I guess”, she said as she continued to look straight into my eyes.
While I couldn’t help the blood draining from my face I was able to pull off a nonchalant return stare. She knew something at worst or suspected something at least.

“Kiss me”, she said.
My eyes darted to various points of her face for a few seconds before I leaned in and turned my head. Our lips met and with one quick smack we slightly pulled away then instantly pressed our lips together again. This kiss was longer and we each applied more pressure. She put her arms around my neck and mine went around her back, I sucked in her top lip then went to her lower one and sucked it in.
I was instantly horny and my need was outstripping sensibilities and detachment, I wanted sex now and figured I would justify or put it into perspective later.
Our embrace tightened and she was pulling me onto her as she tried to lay back on the couch. I broke the kiss,

“Lets go to bed”, I said. As I pulled away my hand ran down her arm until I had her hand in mine while I stood up. She sat on the couch looking up at me, it wasn’t a pensive look rather she had a slight look of what I sensed as pride.
She also had to pause for dramatic effect or to play innocent, I wasn’t sure which it was maybe both but either way I wanted to have sex with her.
She stood up and I turned to pull her with me but she remained stationary. I turned to look at her and she eased up to me grabbed my face and gave me such a soft warm wet kiss that caused me to melt.
I was in a hurry but she was slowing things down, it worked.
Although the fire inside me was raging even hotter my pace was slowed down as we stood there and gently yet passionately kissed.
We pulled away and looked deep into each others eyes, my hand went to the side of her face then I let my fingers stroke her long dark hair.
Her soft brown eyes captivated me, damn she was beautiful and sexy as hell plus she truly was a good woman. A woman with faults but hell, we all have those and if the good outweighs the bad then what’s not to love right ?.
We walked to my bedroom at the edge of the bed she gently pushed me back onto it then got on to the bed and straddled me while unbuttoning my shirt.
Upon opening my shirt she leaned down and started kissing my chest and worked her way down to my stomach.

Then she straightened up and started to unbutton my pants, pulled the zipper down and tugged at the waist while I raised my hips up as she finished pulling my pants off.
I laid on my back and my boner had my boxers tented out. Amy got off the bed and began to undress while I laid there and watched. She stood there with nothing but her french cut panties and bra on then turned her back to me taking them off then turned to face me in all her naked glory. Not a tan line anywhere, her body was flawless.

She got back onto the bed and immediately pulled my boxers of, pulling them down also dragged my cock down then once clear of the waistband it sprang straight back up.
She straddled my legs and took my cock in her hand massaging it up and down before leaning down. She pressed her lips against the tip of my cock and let it part her lips. I swallowed hard and leaned my head back while groaning and arching my back up as she continued to descend onto my boner.
She took me in very deep then slowly worked up and down my shaft, she pulled back up keeping her lips firmly around the my head and started to suck hard before releasing and plunging back down until her lips was brushing my pubic hair.
With my cock in her throat she swallowed,

“OHHHHHHHHHHH”, I groaned loudly. The sensation was incredible and the slow loving care she put into the experience was certainly keeping my inner fire raging while at the same time tempering the explosive force contained in my balls.
I wanted to grab her head while she worked yet I couldn’t.