Sarah’s new start.

My name is Sarah, I am 24 years old and a law student in New York City. I am a white conservative young woman from Texas. I completed all of my pre-law courses at a small university in West Texas. I applied at many law schools and was lucky enough to get accepted to a school in New York. When I arrived in New York it was very scary for me. I had never been in such a huge city and life around me was moving ten times faster than I was accustomed to. As part of my schooling I applied for an internship at a law firm while I was in law school. I worked hard at both school and at my internship for two years.

As time went on I became less and less capable of maintaining both workloads. Law school was extremely demanding and the firm that I worked for dealt primarily in pro-bono work for low income New Yorkers. The usual clients that our firm saw were young black and Hispanic or Puerto Rican males that were involved in gangs in New York and had been arrested for crimes tying to gang affiliation and gang crimes. The gang members always made me nervous. I am 5’ 6” and weigh about 105 pounds. I am slender and tone, with 32C breasts. I always try to dress conservative but not so conservative. At times I would catch these young men, especially the gangster thuggy types, taking long looks at me when I would be assisting the attorneys at the firm. It made me so uncomfortable. Black men have always scared me; they made me so nervous that my stomach would churn when I caught them looking at me or even when I needed to be in the room with them.

I had heard the horror stories of young women being raped by gangs of men and when a rape case came into the firm I was interning at, I always tried to not be involved. I completed law school and was glad it was over. Working at the non-profit was so depressing. I packed all my things and moved back to West Texas and looked for work as an attorney or a legal assistant. I had enough experience from working at the firm in New York that I could easily find a job as a legal assistant. I had a much harder time than I thought looking for work and finally had to start looking out of state for legal jobs. About six months after leaving New York a firm in Las Vegas asked me to come for an interview. I went to Vegas and met with the HR Director of that firm which, led to a new meeting with two of the partners. After a few interviews they asked me to come work for their firm as a second level legal assistant.

I moved to Vegas and got settled in and absolutely loved working for the firm. New York had such a negative influence on me that I did not enjoy anything in life, I was so sick of the New York lifestyle and being involved with such a firm that dealt only in criminal law. The firm had said after four years they would entertain the idea of making me a partner. So for two years I was dedicated simply to my work, I was totally engrossed in my career. A few weeks after my two year anniversary with the firm I was called into the lead partner’s office. Augustus, the lead partner for the firm, or ‘Gus’ as he liked for us to call him was sitting at his desk and he invited me to sit down. ‘Gus’ was an older man in his mid-60’s and one of the few men that I knew that was happily married. In the two years that I worked for his firm he never came onto me. He actually was very sweet and had tried twice to set me up with his nephew. We were not super close but I respected him and was thankful that he never came onto me like so many other attorneys had done.

Gus gave me a promotion that I had no idea was forthcoming. The firm had hired a new attorney that was working in New York for a firm that specialized in contractual law, primarily for athletes and entertainers. This new attorney was named Martin and I was to be his second attorney, which was the logical step for me if I were to actually be offered a partnership. The only negative thing about this opportunity was that the office that Martin was to work out of was there in New York. Gus handed me a folder that had a first class plane ticket leaving the next day for New York, my itinerary and hotel reservations and my credentials to get into the building in which our offices were going to be and to top it off a check for 250,000 dollars. Gus informed me that the check was my bonus and relocation funds and that when I got to New York I was to spend a week looking for an apartment and arrange my relocation. The second week that I would be in New York I would be responsible for overseeing the setting up of our New York office.

In 36 hours I was back in New York, standing in my very expensive five star hotel room looking out at the city of New York and the famous Central Park. The attorney that I was to be an assistant to, Martin was taking two weeks off for vacation before starting with the firm. I spent the first week as ordered, looking for an apartment and amazingly I found one. This time in New York was totally different than my law school years. Monday of the second week I went to the offices. The contractors had remodeled them and had finished the week before. I spent all of the second week accepting office furniture, directing IT guys that were setting up the logistics in the office and getting the office ready for Martins arrival the following Monday. By Friday everything was set up in the office and I just spent most of the day testing logistics and putting the final touches on everything in the office. After spending the work day everything was ready for start of work on Monday and for Martin’s arrival. I sent everyone home at the end of the day and ordered up a salad and some food from the restaurant in the building along with a bottle of white wine. I spent the evening in Martins office with my feet on the window sill watching the sun set against the New York sky line.
I relaxed in the light of the ending day enjoying my salad and my wine when I heard a noise in the reception area. I tiptoed to the door of the office and cracked it open and strained to see what was causing the noise. The building where our offices were was green friendly and at dusk the office lights dimmed automatically. It was very difficult to see anything and so I opened the door and stepped into the room. I saw a very tall figure over the receptionists desk with their back turned. I said in a high tensed voice…

“Hello? May I help you? The office is closed for the day,” I said tensely.

The figure turned around and took a step closer towards me which brought him into the light that illuminated him so that I could see him. The light illuminated his dark features and I realized this man was black and immediately my fear of black men rushed through my body. I stepped back into Martins office and grabbed the door, ready to slam it in their face and lock it and run to the phone, if he stepped one more foot to me.

“Hello,” a deep gruff voice said and then stopped abruptly as he saw me retreating for the door. “Miss Richards? I apologize; I did not mean to frighten you. My name is Martin Diggs.”

I paused when he said his name and asked him to stay where he was and to present his identification. He did so and I cautiously approached him. I looked at his ID and red the name and looked at the picture. I was not expecting a black man as there was no picture in Martins file that Gus had given me, that he was African-American was also not in the file that I was given.

I handed Martin his wallet and said “Mr. Diggs I apologize! I was not expecting you!” I said feeling horrible about the first impression I was making on my boss.
My heart was pounding in my chest and this huge muscular black man in front of me was so imposing that I thought I might just pass out from anxiety and fear. I took a deep breath and held it as I tried to compose myself and kept telling myself that I was no longer in danger.

“Yes I apologize for that, I attempted to call twice to let you know that I was arriving in New York today and would be making it into to office this afternoon. My cell coverage in the city is crap at times, and then my battery died before I was able to call and inform you.” Martin said as he stepped closer to me.

“Oh, I understand Mr. Diggs…” Martin cut me off quickly.

“Please, call me Martin.” He replied with a smile.

“Ok M…Mm…Martin. I will remember to do that Sir.” I responded sheepishly, knowing that he would want to go into his office where my food and wine and shoes were spread out on his desk.

“No, No…just Martin. You and I are going to be spending a lot of time together Miss Richards. So you may call me just plain Martin. Well just plain Martin when we are alone, of course” he said as he looked past me and the door into his office. “Is this my office here? It must be it has my name on it.”

“Ohhh yes, please Mr. Dig….I mean Martin, please call me Sarah. And excuse me I have been working very hard this week to get the office ready for next week and this is my first chance to have a quiet evening and it was late and…,”I was rambling and he stopped me.

“Sarah, please relax. Augustus has informed me of how hard you have been working this week and how proud of you he is for taking charge getting the office ready. So I can understand that this being your first time in New York that you might want to sit and relax and enjoy the view and enjoy a New York sunset, even at my desk.” Martin said as he looked into my eyes and brushed his hand down my arm.

Feeling his giant hand press against my arm I felt that churning in my stomach again. I wanted to run as fast as I could out of the office and out of the building all the way to somewhere safe. Wait…Wait! I have to control myself! This is nothing he is NOT going to hurt you. I began screaming in my head. I stepped into the office and walked quickly to the desk to gather my food and wine and my shoes. I started rambling on nervously mostly because my stomach was doing flips, it was that fear in my body that was telling me to run. This always happened when a black man was close to me. I was on the verge of panic. Martin was 6’4” and stocky. His shaved head was smooth and his skin was a very deep rich black.

“Please, leave those things, I am not territorial. Please let’s sit and get to know each other.” Martin said as he pulled a chair from around his desk and sat down at the edge of the desk.

“Mmmm, Ok Martin. I do apologize. I would never violate your office once you were officially here. It’s just the view is so nice and…” I responded even more nervous than before.

“Girl sit down, drink your wine and pass me a glass.” Martin ordered as he laughed out loud.

I did as ordered I poured Martin some wine and we sat and talked for a few hours. That churning in my stomach was still there but I was not as afraid to be near this man. It must have been the wine just suppressing my fears. Martin ordered up some food for himself and we sat and talked about our professional careers and our hopes for the next few months here at this firm. It turned out that Martin was a great and friendly man. He was funny and polite and very gentlemanly. I was still churning when our impromptu office meeting ended. Since I was a young girl in high school I had always had a nervous reaction towards black men. It was a scary feeling and I absolutely hated the feeling. So when I got into the firms car and the driver started for my apartment, that big muscular black man away from me and the churning began to subside.

Work began the next Monday. Martin met the staff and we started immediately into the business of contractual law. Three months passed and Martin and I spent hours and hours working together working on contracts, briefs and civil cases for our clients. Every time I was around Martin that churning in my body would come back, I was so afraid of the black male image that that feeling never went away, I kept it pressed down in my body and did not allow my fear of a black man to control me. One Wednesday I was in my office going over a few contracts and Martin came in through the little relaxing room. Our offices are set up off of a main receptionist office; my office on one side with a view of the city out of my window. Martin had the best office; of course, his office was the corner office with a great view out of two sides of the building. His office was connected to my office by a little rest area. It was like a relaxing room with a huge flat screen TV and a few couches and a wet bar and a small kitchen. This little room was more like a hotel room just with no bed. It was comfortable and cozy and had a view of the city. My office was connected to one side of the main reception room and Martins office connected on the other side of this reception area. There were two more offices for second level legal assistants with the communications and logistics room between them, but those offices did not have window views.

Anyway, Martin came into my office and said that a new group that we will possibly be representing will be coming by that afternoon. Martin informed me what to get together for the meeting and that I would need to have everything in order. He was going out of town Thursday so he would need to make sure everything was taken care of today. I got the documents ready and all pertinent files set up and reviewed the contract that we hoped to be entering with this new group. The morning flew by and before I knew it the time for the meeting was close. I had less than thirty minutes to get the conference room set up for our meeting. I had one of the secondary assistant set up the conference room as I finalized the contract. The receptionist buzzed me and told me that Mr. Diggs was waiting in the conference room with our client. I grabbed the folders and files and rushed to the conference room. When I entered into the room there were four black men sitting across the table from Martin. The men were dressed in their gangster clothes and when I saw them I stopped in my tracks and my heart leapt into my throat. Immediately that churning feeling in my stomach went into overdrive. My mind raced back to my intern days when I would catch those gangbangers looking at me with one thing in their minds. I quickly regained my composure but I wanted to run screaming at the top of my lungs. I sat down next to Martin and he introduced me to the group of men in the room. They were a rap group from New York and wanted new representation. We started discussing the contract that we had been working on and we looked through the contract line by line. Sometimes when I would look up from my reading I would catch one of the guys looking at me. I had on a red blouse that was not real tight on my breasts but snug and a few times I would catch one of the guys checking out my breasts. Each time I did, the fear inside me began to get out of control. The looks in their eyes I knew well. It was that look that those gangbangers had given me, checking me out, hungry to take what they wanted from me.

As we concluded the reading of the contract the leader, his name is Gordon or Little G is what the guys called him, said that he was unclear on certain sections of the contract. I got a little nervous fearing that I had messed something up. Martin assured them that any changes could be made to accommodate the concerns that Little G had. We talked for another thirty minutes about changes to the contract that G wanted made. Martin said that he would have me rewrite the contract and we could set a meeting for next week. Martin explained that he was going out of town for business tomorrow and would not be back until the next week. Gordon informed Martin that they would be leaving New York next week and were only available to sign the contract this week. Martin advised Gordon to call the office on Friday, which I would need Thursday to draw up the new contract. Gordon and the others agreed and the meeting was concluded.

Thursday came and I worked on the changes to the contract. It took me longer than usual because I was so distracted by fear that even thinking of those black men put into my body. Martin called and inquired on the status of the contract. I informed him that everything was taken care of and ready for the four clients signatures. He told me that he knew everything was fine and just wanted to double check. He was confident in my ability and trusted me to get the job done. The day was almost over when the receptionist buzzed me and said she had Mr. G on the phone. I took his call and told him everything was ready for him. He told me that they would be up at the office around 5 PM to review and sign the contract. That was normally when we closed the office I told him and he said that it was necessary because, they were recording a demo most of the day. He said that he wouldn’t mind coming in on Saturday but that he would have to change their flight. I told him not to worry about it that I usually worked late on Friday evenings and that I would be there after five. He thanked me for accommodating him and we hung up. Again that churning in my stomach started again. There is no way I can be in this office with those men without Martin or other office workers here! I would panic for a few minutes and then calm myself down telling myself this was a secure building and nothing will happen. I have a job to do and this contract is extremely important to this firm and my future here.

Friday came and I was in the office most of the morning and the afternoon. It was nearly three when I decided to stop and eat some lunch. At lunch I ordered some tomato soup and as I was eating it and I accidently poured the contents on my white blouse and skirt. The soup stained my blouse and skirt horribly and I was in tears when the receptionist came in. She saw me in tears and offered to let me borrow an outfit that she was going to change into when she left work. The receptionist is about my height and build so, I was sure that I would fit into her clothes. She always seemed to dress very stylish and professional so I was not concerned. I went into my office bathroom and stripped out of my blouse and skirt. The soup had even stained my panties and the stockings that I was wearing. So I stripped them off too and placed the stained outfit in a bag. I opened the loaned outfit from the clothing bag and separated the skirt which was fairly short. And the grey blouse that had a low cut in the front.

‘Oh my God, I cannot wear this!’ I thought to myself.

I reached into the bag and pulled out a pair of thigh high sheer stockings and a black G-String pair of panties.

‘Fuck, fuck, fuck I can’t wear this in front of those men!’ I practically screamed in my head.

The receptionist knocked on the door and said she had just spoken to Mr. G and that he and his associates would be at the building within thirty minutes. I immediately began to panic and almost informed the receptionist to call them back and cancel and reschedule for Saturday morning. I stopped before I opened my mouth and advised her that was fine and that I would be out in a minute. I wanted to get this meeting over with and be done with it. I pulled on the black thigh high stockings and panties. I looked into the mirror to see how I looked. I looked very sexy, the stockings were tight on my thighs and the panties accentuated my round butt cheeks.

‘Oh my God, I cannot wear this! This is far too unprofessional for me!’ I thought to myself.

I then put on the black thin bra. The tight Bra pushed my tits more to center and closer together. I pressed my head into my hands and nearly started crying.

‘This is NOT what I need to be wearing in front of these men’ they are going to think I am trying to seduce them!’ I screamed again in my head.

I put on the blouse hoping it was not as low cut in the neck as I feared it was. But it was far too low cut for my idea of a work blouse. I cursed under my breath at the receptionist and my clumsy eating habits. I put on the skirt which barely was mid-thigh in length. I pulled the skirt up at the edges and it was only inches from the top of the black stockings. I started crying again.

‘This is not who I am,’ I told myself.

The churning in my stomach was getting out of control and I thought I might get sick. Then I began slowly to take a deep breath and relax a little more with each breath. When I was composed I touched up my makeup and applied some more lipstick. I opened the door and stepped into my office where I saw the receptionist.

“Oh my, you look very attractive in that outfit Miss Richards!” the receptionist said in a surprising tone.

“Are you crazy?” I almost screamed at her. “I look like a fucking high priced escort in this! Are you crazy?” I repeated again.

“Oh I apologize Miss Richards but that is my after hours at the bar outfit for Friday nights.” She replied. “It is the only thing in the office that is business like.”

“Whatever, just get out and leave me alone!” I ordered of the receptionist.

I sat at my desk for a minute feeling that out of control churning in my stomach. I continued to breathe and finally got to a point where I could double check the contract that these men would be reviewing. I wanted them to sign the damn contract and then leave.

The rest of the afternoon was slow and by four o’clock I had sent every one home except the receptionist. When Five O’clock came nothing happened. I told the receptionist to call Mr G. and inquire as to their arrival time. She got no answer. By 5:30 still no answer at their numbers and so I sent the receptionist home. I went to my office and started filing the contract on my desk in the appropriate files and getting ready to leave. As I reached for my briefcase and the plastic bag that contained my white soiled blouse the phone rang. I sat down my briefcase and answered the phone. It was Little G and they were at the front of the building and security would not let them pass. Immediately I began to panic! I cannot have those men in here if I am the only one here; that is completely irresponsible of me as a business woman! I composed myself after stuttering into the phone a few times. I told him to wait there and that I would call the security desk and have them escorted to the office. I rushed in a panic to set up the meeting room with each participant getting a copy of the contract. The phone rang again and the security officer had called and asked to let the men into our reception area. I advised him to do so and desperately wanted to ask the man to stay while the meeting was conducted. I decided that would be improper and most likely it would insult the clients. When I hung up with the security desk my heart shot into my throat. I took a deep breath and exhaled and then repeated the process again.

I opened the door of the conference room to the receptionist area and walked into the room. I shook their hands and told them how lucky they were that I was about to leave for the day. Gordon apologized and thanked me for waiting. I asked them to come into the conference room and to have a seat. I showed them to their seats and told them that I had taken care of the changes as they requested. As I walked around to my side of the conference table I saw in a mirror on the wall, in the reflection I saw three of the guys looking at my legs and my ass as I went around the table, my back to them. A shot of fear went through my body and I wanted to just die! I sat down and asked them to open to a specific page in the contract. It was the first change that Gordon had requested to be made. Ricky one of the guys said he could not find that page in his contract, so I stood up and leaned over the table; I had to reach as he was the furthest away from me on his side of the table. I did not bend completely over, just enough for my blouse to hang down and show a fair look of my cleavage to him and Gordon. As I began to sit down I noticed Ricky looking down my blouse at my cleavage. I was so nervous and scared. These men were looking at me like I was something to be taken, something to be conquered.

The page being found, we covered the multiple changes in the contract. We came to the next change and started to cover it when Michigan, I assume was his mick name, said he didn’t see what we were reading. I stood again and leaned in but could not read it well upside down. I walked to their side of the table and walked close to his side and bent over with my hands on my knees and I pointed out the section to him that I had failed to highlight. I reached over the desk for my highlighter and accidently pressed one of my breasts against his arm. When my breast touched his arm I almost jumped out of my skin and quickly moved away from him. I reached further for the highlighter and I know I was bending over enough for the skirt to pull past the tops of my black sheer stockings and give the other guys a great look at my white thighs. I quickly realized that I was revealing more of my thighs and cursed the stupid receptionist again under my breath and stood up quickly. I handed Michigan back his copy and walked back to my side of the table. All four sets of eyes were locked on me as I did so.
This was a disaster! Here I look like a high priced slut and the fear that these men have created in me is out of control and I am being clumsy and not thinking of my surroundings. At that moment I was so overcome by my fear that I needed to leave the room. I realized that I did not offer them any water so I apologized for not offering them any refreshments and asked if they would like anything.