Revenge, Pt 5: The Red Mist Decends_(1)

*IMPORTANT* This is a new account for superkev123, I can no longer access my old one, so I am re-posting all my old ones here, and will also be uploading new ones.

Chapter 5

It was the following Tuesday, lunch time at school. The cafeteria was crowded with other kids eating and generally killing time. Friends talking and laughing, making stupid jokes and throwing stuff around. I always marvelled at the sound of crowds, how a hundred different perfectly ordinary conversations could combine to make a continuous din of meaningless noise.

I was standing in line when someone nudged my arm with theirs. I turned, and there stood my sister, with Jessica at her side.

This was weird. I think it had been literally years since I’d spoken to my sister inside a school building. We never had any classes together, and we even though we shared a car, I was always the one to drive it to and from school because she got a ride from Jessica every day. Once we left the house, we acted like strangers. Of course, we’d been acting like strangers at home too, until very recently.

“Hey, little brother.” she said cheerily.

“Uh, hey little sis.” I answered.

This was a running joke between us. Around age ten or so, we figured out that one of us had to be the “older” twin, but our parents had decided not to tell us, so we’d never be able to argue about it, or something. And thanks to a lazy or careless nurse at the hospital we were born in, the “time of birth” on our birth certificates were identical. Since we had no way of knowing, we’d both just decided that we must each be the older one, and had stuck to it.

It was an old term of endearment that we hadn’t used in years, and the fact that it came to me so easily really only served to make this whole thing weirder.

“You should sit with us today.” she said, smiling and confident.

“Um, what? Why?” I said, moving forward with the line.

“Because.” she said simply.

I rolled my eyes at her and she sighed impatiently, as if I was missing something obvious.

“Because you’re my twin brother, but we never even talk to each other at school. It’s ridiculous. Sit with us, come on.” she said.

I added some stuff to my tray, and moved along some more.

“You know, I do have my own friends to sit with.” I said.

Now it was her turn to roll her eyes.

“Yeah right, do you even like any of those guys? You just sit there and barely say two words to them, I’ve seen you.” she said.

There were actually a few different groups of people I sat with, but she was right, I didn’t talk to any of them very much. I’d long suspected most of them wouldn’t notice if I stopped coming into school altogether, but it didn’t bother me. It was enough just to hang out with them, and listen to them talking about whatever was going on with them. It made the meals pass quicker.

I shrugged.

“I’m not big on talking. They’re good company.” I said.

I reached the end of the line and paid for my food, then stepped off to the side while they did the same. I noticed Jessica hadn’t said anything yet. I hadn’t seen her since she’d left, Saturday evening. We hadn’t gotten a chance to talk about what we’d done, the new step we’d taken, but she’d seemed pretty comfortable with it.

It actually made sense that this was happening. The three of us were getting along really well at home, now that Jessica had stopped attacking me every time I walked into a room, but I didn’t know any of their other friends. I hate to use an old cliché, but if there were in fact “popular kids” at that school, it was Rose and Jessica they were sitting with. Not that I could name any of them. I tended to avoid high school drama if I could, it just didn’t interest me.

Rose caught up with me, and I could tell she wasn’t going to drop this.

“Come on, I’m serious.” she said, “You should sit with us. You should meet my other friends, you…” she trailed off.

I looked at Jessica, and I could see how uncomfortable this was making her. She was staring down at the floor, not meeting my eye. There was still the huge, unspoken understanding that Jessica was the reason I hadn’t been sitting with them all along, and that it was only thanks to our new, secret relationship that things had changed.

I looked back at Rose, and I could see the guilt lurking behind her eyes. They wanted to make it up to me for isolating me all those years. At least, Rose did. I actually didn’t know what the hell Jessica wanted, except that she clearly didn’t want to be standing here having this conversation.

As I thought about it, I just decided to go with it. Why the hell shouldn’t I eat lunch with my sister, her best friend who I was secretly fucking, and a bunch of people I didn’t know?

Well, probably a lot of reasons, but I went with it anyway.

“Fine.” I sighed, “Where are we sitting?”

She grinned with victory, and led me over to their usual table. I tried to meet Jessica’s eyes, but she didn’t look at me.

There were only three other people at the circular table, two boys and a girl. Both the guys seemed pretty surprised when they saw me sitting down at the seat Rose guided me towards, sitting opposite the girl, with Rose on my left and one of them on my right. I remembered that the girl’s name was Becky. I recognised her from one of my classes, but I couldn’t remember which. I’d never paid much attention to her, but she was really pretty, with light brown skin, short black hair, and strangely bright amber eyes. Jessica sat in between her and Rose.

Like I said, Becky didn’t look surprised as I sat down, just watched me with a small, almost knowing smile that I found weirdly unnerving.

“Guys, this is my brother.” said Rose as I pulled my chair in. She patted me firmly on the shoulder, as if trying to comfort me.

I introduced myself. The guy to the left of Becky gave a silent nod, and quickly looked down at his food. He had jet black hair, and was quite well built, with wide shoulders and defined muscles on his arms that showed through his t-shirt. I’d seem him around, he was easily 6’4 or 6’5 when standing, but I’d never learned his name.

The guy to my right slid around the table so we were more spread out, then suddenly stuck his hand out to me, waiting for me to shake it. I took it after only a second of hesitation, ignoring how strange and formal it seemed.

“I’m Derek, it’s great to meet you buddy.” he said as he shook my hand.

He was smiling, and seemed to actually mean what he’d said. He had messy blond hair that covered his ears, his fringe swept out of his eyes.

“Yeah, you too.” I replied, smiling back a little.

“I know you.” said Becky.

I turned to her to find that same knowing smile, her eyes narrowed as if she was trying to remember something. Something about her made me nervous.

“Uh, yeah. You’re…Becky, right?” I said. “We have…something, together.”

“Yeeah…” she said slowly. “English, right? Mr. Winters?”

I couldn’t actually remember if that was true, so I just shrugged.

“Well, it’s nice to actually meet you, anyway.” she said.

“Right.” I said, smiling nervously.

She was the first girl I’d really spoken to in a while. Well, unless you count Rose or Jessica. I suddenly remembered the reason I’d never had a girlfriend until very recently. Hot girls made me nervous.

‘Not that I have a girlfriend now’, I thought to myself. I’d made it clear with Jessica that she wasn’t my girlfriend, so why did I just think of her that way? Had to watch out for that.

“Frank.” said the guy to her right without looking up.

He had a deep voice, but spoke quietly. I didn’t know if he was being rude, or if I made him nervous. For some reason it felt like the latter, despite his size. Maybe he just wasn’t good at talking to new people.

“Hey.” I answered.

I turned to Rose to see her beaming at me. I rolled my eyes again, and she quickly struck up a conversation with Becky.

I sat mostly in silence, eating slowly and letting the conversation wash over me without contributing, like I usually did. Derek, Rose, and Becky talked quickly and comfortably with each other, with Frank chipping in every now and again.

Frank’s calm demeanour didn’t change much, so it was hard to say if he was always like this, or if he was like this because I was here. It felt like he was deliberately avoiding looking at me, but that could have been just because I wasn’t talking.
Derek was pretty funny, I found myself laughing or smiling along with most of the jokes he made. He seemed like a warm, friendly person, although he got a little loud sometimes. Becky seemed a little serious, but she had a real sarcastic streak too.

I slowly realised that I was probably the least attractive person at the table. I didn’t really think they were shallow or anything, but it just became apparent to me that Becky, Derek, and Frank were all just attractive people, objectively. Rose and Jessica too, but I already knew that.

What really interested me was Jessica. She hadn’t said a word since we sat down and seemed even colder than Frank, barely smiling or laughing at anything. Maybe actually sitting with me and her other friends at the same time reminded her of all the stuff we did together, and it freaked her out. The weird thing was that no one seemed to notice, no one asked her any questions or tried to include her, not even Rose.

But it wasn’t long before Rose tried to get me to respond. They were talking about some report they had due in for History. I didn’t share that class with any of them, but all the classes had to do it, with the deadline being Friday.

“Did you get it done yet?” Rose asked Becky.

Becky shook her head, taking a drink of coke.

“It doesn’t seem that hard though, I’ll probably get most of it done tonight.” she said.

“Yeah it’s pretty easy.” said Derek, “It’s meant to be, what like 1,500 words? I only did like a thousand, but it’s probably fine.”

Becky shrugged. “Yeah probably.” she said.

“What about you,” said Rose, turning to me, “Have you started it yet?”

I immediately felt nervous again, having to talk, but I mentally shook myself. It was just a conversation.

“Well, it’s due in Friday. I’ve got like three whole days, why wouldn’t I wait until the very last minute?” I joked.

Becky and Rose laughed.

“Ha ha yeah, fuck it.” said Rose.

“Seriously though,” I said, feeling confident from the laugh I got, “There are just so many more interesting things I could be doing. And everything’s so much more fun when you’re ignoring boring shit you have to do.”

Everyone laughed at that, and out of the corner of my eye I even saw Jessica smile.

I said it jokingly, but that was actually how I felt about most things. There was always so many interesting and fun things to do, books to read, movies to watch, not even to mention all the time I spent on the internet. Pretty much every piece of homework I had to do, or test I had to study for, was done the night before, if not the morning of its deadline. Probably why my grades were so overwhelmingly average.

“Procrastination is one of life’s greatest little pleasures.” said Becky sagely, smiling at me.

I smiled back, and the conversation moved on.

I didn’t talk much after that, but I was surprised to find I’d enjoyed myself. When we went to get ready for class, everyone said goodbye, and Derek stressed again how “really great” it was to meet me, the same warm smile on his face.

Later, Rose caught up with me at my locker.

“See, wasn’t that fun?” she said.

“It was Ok. Your friends seem cool.” I said casually.

“Good. That wasn’t even all of them, Lissie had some dumb club thing to do today. You’ll probably like her.” she said.

“You have a friend called Lissie? Is that even a name?” I joked.

“Alyssa. Lissie. You’ll like her.” she said.

“Oh, and when would I ever meet her?” I said.

“Well obviously you’re sitting with us tomorrow too.” she said smiling, walking away.

I’d had fun, but I didn’t know if I really wanted to be spending all this time with Rose and Jessica. If we started meeting at lunch, and after school, and on the weekends, then I’d pretty much have no time to myself. I’d already been spending less time alone, and as weird as it sounds, it made me a little uncomfortable.

I used to spend all my time alone because I had to, but over the years I’d really come to enjoy my solitude, my privacy. I wasn’t really sure if I was ready to give that up.

==

The next day, they met me at the line in the cafeteria again. Rose had an expression that let me know she wasn’t going to give up on this, and again, Jessica looked like she didn’t really care. I hadn’t spoken to either of them since the day before.

When we got to their table, Derek and Becky were already there, as well as a girl I vaguely recognised. It was probably strange not to know the name of everyone other senior by now, but I’d spent so little time outside my own small social groups that I didn’t even really have to try to avoid gossip. The groups I hung out with were usually more interested in their own niche hobbies than their classmates.

“Oh hey man, what’s up?” Derek said, as soon as I sat.

Becky was reading a book, and didn’t look up to greet me. I looked at the other girl. She was very beautiful, I noticed right away. There really was a pattern here. She had sharp, well defined cheek bones and dark hair that fell past her shoulders, and very fair skin. Her eyes must have been brown, but they were so dark they seemed almost black.

“So you’re Rose’s little brother?” she said, giving me an almost stern, appraising look.

“Kinda.” I said nervously.

“What do you mean ‘kinda’? Do you not know if you’re her brother?” she said, her voice sarcastic and almost accusing.

I felt a swell of nervousness rise up at her aggressive tone, but I met her eye. I was determined not to act as awkward as I’d felt yesterday. Besides, the way she was looking at me was nothing compared to how Jessica had been treating me for years.

“I mean we don’t actually know who’s older.” I explained, trying to sound confident, “As far as I’m concerned, I’m her big brother.”

She raised her eyebrows slightly, before turning to Rose.

“You said he was younger than you by like, a few minutes.” she said almost angrily, her voice still firm.

Rose just shrugged, smiling. The other girl’s almost hostile manner didn’t seem to bother anyone else. Derek was just watching with what seemed to be a permanent half-smile, and Becky still didn’t look up.

“He is younger.” Rose said eventually, her voice full of humour, “He just won’t admit it.”

They looked at me simultaneously. It was my turn to shrug.

“I don’t know what to tell you.” I said lightly. “My little sister’s delusional.”

There was a half-beat of silence before the girl’s cold, stern expression melted into a light, sincere laugh. I smiled, feeling a little rush of confidence that I wasn’t used to. I didn’t often make people laugh, but I seemed to be pretty good at it.

“I’m Lissie.” she said, her laugh fading.

I felt strangely like I’d passed some sort of test.

Again, once I’d gotten my introduction out of the way, I stayed pretty much silent, letting the others talk, and content just to react occasionally. I noticed Frank wasn’t here, but I didn’t question it. Jessica still hadn’t said a word to anyone, and again no one thought this was strange.

After a while, Becky flipped her book closed, and looked right up into my eyes.

“When did you get here?” she asked, genuinely puzzled.

I shrugged, mind racing to think of something vaguely witty to say.

“I’ve been here the whole time.” I said, raising one eyebrow.

“What?” she asked, her brow wrinkling in confusion.

Derek quickly picked up on my joke, and added to it.

“Becky, he was sitting there when you got here.” he said seriously, as if Becky was missing something obvious.

“Really?” she asked, even more confused, “Shit, I didn’t even notice.”

I couldn’t help but smile, and Derek suddenly gave a short, loud laugh. She rolled her eyes as she realised we were messing with her.

“Oh, whatever.” she said, a little embarrassed.

Rose and Lissie hadn’t noticed this exchange, and Derek and Becky joined right in with their conversation. It was such a small thing, just a simple joke, a little moment of bonding, but it made me feel stupidly good. It had been a while since I’d had an actual, casual conversation with someone who wasn’t related to me, or…whatever the fuck Jessica was to me. No long, complicated history or always quietly worrying about hidden meanings or ignoring old guilt. Just light, simple conversation.

As the other four talked to each other, Jessica met my eye, and again she was smiling. She seemed embarrassed that I’d noticed her looking at me, and quickly looked down at the table. She was acting so strangely.

Lunch passed without much more happening. I still didn’t feel exactly comfortable with this group, but I was definitely a lot less nervous. If Rose was really insistent on this, then I thought it would be Ok to keep going along with it.

But it slowly became apparent that I just didn’t have much to talk to them about. Most of their conversation revolved around other seniors who’s names I only vaguely recognised, or TV I didn’t watch, or parties I hadn’t been to. It made me a little uncomfortable at first, but I figured I could get used to it.

==

The next day, Rose didn’t feel the need to march me towards her table personally, but she waved me over when she saw me looking from the line.

It was just Rose and Derek at that point, but it was only a few minutes before Frank, Becky, Lissie and Jessica had all joined. Again, I didn’t talk much, just sometimes laughing or making little jokes.

Unless the conversation steered towards a teacher I had, or homework I hadn’t done yet (which was pretty much all of it), I still didn’t really have anything to say. But no one pressured me to talk, or mocked me when I didn’t understand a reference. This surprised me at first, until I realised that the only reason I expected it was because of how Jessica had treated me. She’d skewed my perception of social interaction, making it seem so much harsher and more judgemental than it usually was. I smiled when I thought this. I was still figuring out ways that she affected my life.

However, that day, Jessica did finally speak, but not to anyone at the table.

My eyes widened when I saw him approach, at least 6’3 and walking with a confident swagger.

Mike. Jessica’s ex.

There were two other guys with him, but they didn’t seem too interested in what was going on, and were mostly looking around, bored, or talking to each other.

There was a slight break in the conversation as each member of the group noticed him, until Jessica turned to see what we were looking at. Her eyes narrowed as he stepped up to her.

“Hey guys.” he said, looking around the table.

There were a few non-committal grunts of greeting, but they were mostly silent. My heart had suddenly started pounding in my chest. I didn’t really know this guy. What had Jessica told him when she broke it off with him? Did she mention that there was someone else? Did he know that I was the reason he’d been dumped?

“Jessica, baby!” he said, as if surprised to see her, “How’ve you been?”

He said it lightly, but it felt like there was a shadow of anger behind his voice.

“What the fuck do you want, Mike?” she said.

Her voice was strong and unwavering, though not exactly hostile. Mike seemed a little taken aback at her response.

“Aw don’t be like that. What happened between us, baby? You used to be so sweet to me.” he said mockingly.

“Mike, just get the fuck out of here.” she said. “I dumped you more than a month ago. This is just sad.”

I glanced around the table, but no one seemed to really notice what was happening. Rose looked bored and was staring at her phone, occasionally smiling as she read her messages. Becky was reading, and Lissie was toying lazily with her food. Frank and Derek were both eating quietly. There was complete silence, and it was impossible for them not to have noticed what was happening, but none of them reacted. Did they really care so little for Jessica’s problems?

I looked back up to see Mike staring back at me.

“I don’t recognise this one.” he said, looking me over, “Is this the little faggot you’re with now?”

Jessica hesitated for a second.

“You really think you can handle a hot bitch like her?” he sneered at me, arrogance clear in his voice.

“Hey, asshole, I’m over here.” said Jessica loudly, pointing to her eyes.

He turned back to her, ignoring me.

“Actually Mike, there isn’t anyone else. At all. Just let that sink in for a minute.” she said, her tone venomous. “I would literally rather be completely alone than spend even a second more with you.”

His eyes widened with anger, but he didn’t have a reply. I’d been in that exact situation a hundred times before, and I didn’t envy him. His friends were paying attention now, but seemed amused that he’d been rendered speechless.

“Why are you still standing there like a slack-jawed moron?” Jessica asked, as if genuinely confused. “Fuck. Off.”

Mike gave one last furious look around the table, but I was still the only one looking at him. He glared at me for a few seconds before he turned and walked away.

I tried to force myself to relax as he left. Looking around, I realised no one else at any surrounding tables had even noticed the exchange. They’d been talking at a normal volume, but for some reason it had felt like they were shouting at each other. Two strong wills rising up and locking horns. Why did I feel so threatened, so afraid of their exchange? I guess I liked the idea of being superior to Mike, but seeing him in person had really put me on edge.

Jessica watched him leave, then turned to me and shot me an almost apologetic look before looking away again. The silence stretched.

“What day is it?” said Becky suddenly.

“Thursday.” answered Rose in a monotone, without looking up.

“Shit! That History thing is for tomorrow, isn’t it?”she asked me, looking panicked.

“Uh, yeah.” I said.

“Fuck! I was going to go out tonight!” she moaned.

“Oh yeah, with who? Or did you forget to ask for his name?” asked Lissie, smiling.

“Shut up, you bitch.” Becky moaned, slumping down in her chair.

The conversation quickly moved on, Derek and Rose joining in. I was so confused by what had happened. Had I just imagined that entire exchange between Jessica and Mike? Was it not worthy of some small comment? Everyone seemed just as relaxed as they had before, and the only difference I noticed was Rose shooting Jessica a small, reassuring smile, which was returned.

Pretty soon lunch ended, and we all headed out to our lockers. Becky stopped by mine as she passed.

“So did you get that report done?” she asked, sighing.

“No.” I answered, “But then I was always planning to do it tonight anyway.”

“Oh yeah.” she said, laughing. “Well, later.”

She turned to leave.

“Wait.” I said quickly. “What was up with Jessica and Mike today?”

“Oh right, I guess you don’t know what happened between them?” she asked, smiling.

“Well, I know a little bit. I mean, I know she broke up with him a while ago, but just…I don’t know, wasn’t it weird how…hostile they were being?” I asked.

She looked confused.

“Not really.” she said, as if it was obvious, “I mean, haven’t you known Jessica for like, years? She’s always like that. Or she’s just quiet.”

“Well, I know she was always like that when we were younger, but…I don’t know, it just seems weird. And why didn’t anyone even mention what happened?” I asked.

She shrugged.

“Because it happens.” she said, “Seriously, all of Jessica’s conversation is like…forty percent silence, forty percent being a bitch, and like…” she trailed off.

“Twenty?” I prompted, smiling.

“Shut up.” she said, returning my smile, “Twenty percent being, like, normal. We didn’t say anything about it because we’re used to it. It’s not usually Mike, but sometimes just some guy who won’t stop asking her out, or some girl that hates her, or even one us. She’s cool and all, but she’s just kind of a bitch. You just get used to it.”

She shrugged again.

I wasn’t really surprised by this news. I’d learned a while ago that her apparent hatred of me growing up wasn’t special, but rather just how she acted around everyone who she wasn’t very close with.

“How did you not know this already?” Becky asked.

“I kind of did…” I said, “I guess I just assumed she’d be different around her friends.”

She shrugged again. She did that a lot. Her eyes flashed with sudden challenge as she looked at me again.

“Wait, do you know why they broke up?” she asked.

“Do you not?” I asked.

“No! She just keeps saying that she got tired of him, but we all think it’s something else. Rose said something last Thursday at the party at Josh’s, after she’d had a few drinks. They’re both being really secretive about it all though.” she said.

I hadn’t been aware of Rose or Jessica going to any parties, I didn’t even know who “Josh” was. As I thought about it, I remembered that Rose did actually spend most Thursdays out late.