Puddles of Leaves

Dennis slid open the glass door of his quiet home and stepped into the heavily wooded backyard. It was a crisp fall Saturday as Dennis surveyed the many layers of fallen leaves that covered his yard. The chilly air cooled his lungs as he took a deep breath, examining the work in front of him. He had been putting off raking for weeks now, but as all the trees were almost bare, he had talked himself into getting it done this weekend.

Dennis trudged across his lawn through the leaves to the shed. He flipped the latch and retrieved the rake he had bought his first year in this house when he was faced with his first fall. He had moved into this, his first house, a few years ago, that autumn had been quite the surprise for him as he realized the true cost to owning your own house. His backyard was littered with trees, which were great in the summer because the yard was shady, keeping it pleasantly cool even when the temperature was unbearably high. The consequence to having such a shady backyard was obviously a yard caked in leaves come fall time, as Dennis had learned the hard way.

His friend had suggested he try a leaf blower, but that wasn’t really Dennis’ style, they made too much noise and if he really thought about it, raking wasn’t too bad. Well, not when you rake the way Dennis raked.

He took a sip from the travel coffee mug he had brought out with him, filled with a fresh cup of coffee and a few shots of whiskey. Dennis had learned quickly that drinking made raking a lot more tolerable. Dennis was just sinking his rake into the corner of his yard when he heard the screeching of a poorly oiled door sliding open.

He looked around and saw his neighbor, Chelsea, walking out into her own backyard. Chelsea had moved in a year after Dennis had. They had talked a little more than neighbors normally did and Dennis might even go as far to say that they were friends. They were both dreadful at grocery shopping and often found themselves asking each other to borrow all kinds of things. Dennis had stocked her with more salt, flour, toilet paper, sugar, oil, and whatever else that he figured he probably owned half the ingredients in her kitchen. The nice thing was that she returned the favor whenever he found himself in need. Just last week Dennis had a girl stop by for dinner. Dennis ordered some take out and thought he was all set until they sat down to eat and he realized he didn’t have any wine. He had raced next door and asked for anything Chelsea could spare. She didn’t ask a single question, just turned and grabbed a corked bottle from a collection of different alcohols. It had been half full, but it had been a life saver.

Chelsea was wearing worn out boots, some light blue jeans that were covered in stains, and a pink windbreaker that didn’t seem to be as bright as it once had been. A yardwork outfit if Dennis had ever seen one.

“Hey.” She said walking down her porch to the small rock wall that divided their two yards.

“What’s up?” Dennis asked, stopping his raking. Chelsea’s outfit wasn’t even a little revealing, but the raggedy look of the clothes that were covering her toned body made Dennis stare anyway.

“Looks like great minds think alike, I was just getting ready to start cleaning the yard up.” Chelsea said.

Dennis laughed, “More like lazy minds, I’ve been telling myself I need to do this since September.”

Chelsea laughed too, “Same, somehow whenever I’m getting ready to go out, I always find something that I NEED to watch on Netflix.”

“I’ll just pass out whenever I know I need to do yard work.” Dennis laughed, “I’ll be going out to cut the grass, decide to sit down, just for a second, and next thing I know I’m waking up and it’s pitch black out.”

Chelsea laughed, “You want to work together? I’ll help you with your yard, you help me with mine.”

Dennis didn’t even consider it, “Sure.” then handed her his coffee mug and said, “And a little bit of Irish coffee will help both of us.

Chelsea took a thankful sip and then winced as she swallowed, “Damn that’s strong.” She took another sip and then gave it back to Dennis. “I’ll grab my rake.” Chelsea went into her own shed and came out with a rake, then stepped over the small rock wall into Dennis’ leafy back yard.

“I was going to start here,” Dennis said pointing to the corner he had begun raking, “And I was just going to try and collect everything in the middle.”

Chelsea nodded and then was visibly hit by a great idea, her face lit up and she asked excitedly, “Can we make like one giant leaf pile with all our leaves?”

Dennis wasn’t about to disappoint someone who was so clearly this excited, “Yeah sounds good.” Admittedly, he kind of liked the idea too.

“Fuck yeah! I haven’t jumped into a pile of leaves since I was a kid.” Chelsea said excitedly.

Dennis laughed, “It might be a bit different than you remember it.”

“Yeah, everything sucks more when you’re older.” Chelsea said correctly as she dragged her rake through the leaves, clearing a small patch. They worked for a while, clearing about half the yard and creating a large mound of leaves in the middle.

Dennis threw down his rake and said, “Beer. Beer?”

“Please.” Chelsea said leaning against her own rake.

“Gotcha.” Dennis said opening up his door and walking into his kitchen. He came back out with two cans of some Sam Adams Octoberfest. He popped the top on one and handed it to Chelsea before popping his own top and taking a long sip.

Chelsea gulped from hers gratefully. It was a bit chilly out, but she was still sweating under her windbreaker and the sweater she was wearing underneath, raking was hard work. She sighed, “Thanks.”

“No problem.” He paused, looking at the pile of leaves, “How’s work been going?”

“It’s been going pretty good.” Chelsea said, “Actually this happened to me the other day, I walked in on my boss fucking his ex-wife.”

“Damn!” Dennis grimaced, “Where?”

“The women’s bathroom in our office.”

“Animals huh?” Dennis said laughing.

“Oh, they’re bad. He was sitting on the toilet and she was blowing him with the stall door wide open.” Chelsea explained.

Dennis imagined it, “What did you do?” he asked.

“I had to pee. I walked right past them and went into the next stall. He saw me and panicked. He sent her home and called me into his office like half an hour later, begging me not to tell anyone.”

“Why does he care if it’s just his ex-wife?” Dennis asked.

“His current wife might care a bit.” Chelsea said taking a sip from her beer like she was Kermit the Frog sipping tea.

Dennis snorted into his can as he was about to sip from his own beer.

“He’s been super nice to me ever since, tells me to go home early, buys me lunch.” Chelsea said shrugging.

“There you go. Nice little scheme you got going on.” Dennis smiled.

“It’s pretty great for now.” Chelsea laughed. “Did you get laid the other night?”

“What do you mean?” Dennis asked, a little thrown off, but rolling with the punches.

“When you had that chick over and you wanted the wine. You get lucky?” Chelsea asked, then added quickly, “I assumed she was like a date or something. Either that or your sister. Shit, if it was your sister, forget the whole thing about getting lucky. Unless you’re into that, and judging by some of the websites I frequent, a lot of people are.”

Dennis burst out laughing, “It was not my sister and I’m most certainly not into that… Although some of the porn isn’t bad.”

“It’s porn. Even if it’s bad it’s not that bad.” Chelsea said making Dennis laugh again. “So you get laid?”

“I did actually.” Dennis said smiling a little at the memory, “Thank you for the wine, that shit was a life saver.”

“That wine is magical.” Chelsea said, “When I opened that bottle, me and some guy I met online drank it and we wound up fucking for hours.”

“Nothing like a bit of good sex wine.” Dennis joked.

Another half hour and two more beers later and Dennis’ yard was just about clear, except for the large heap of leaves they had formed in the middle of the yard.

“Whoo!” Chelsea yelled into the quiet afternoon as she swept the last few leaves onto the pile to join their fallen brothers. “Half way there.”

“Fuck yeah.” Dennis said giving Chelsea a high five, which should have been awkward, but wasn’t. As Chelsea walked over to the rock wall and stepped back over to her yard, Dennis hung back and slipped behind his shed for a minute.

“What were you doing?” Chelsea asked as Dennis emerged from behind his shed adjusting his pants.

“Taking a piss.” Dennis told her honestly, stepping over the wall.

“Awe, you should have told me. I have to go too. We could have gone together.” Chelsea said pretending to pout.

“Dagnabit. Next time.” Dennis said smiling. He was half joking, but he was also very interested in what fraction she was joking.

“Well I was going to go inside and pee, but I can’t do that after you just peed outside.” Chelsea said looking around. There were no houses behind her yard and the thick trees were a decent enough deterrent from nosy neighbors.

“Why not?” Dennis asked laughing.

“Cause then I’d look like a bitch.” Chelsea said walking over to a patio set in her yard. She sat down on a half metal half plastic chair. Dennis strolled over and sat across the glass patio table from her.