Oldies but Goodies

My name is Max. I came along late in my parents’ lives. They were in their forties when I was born so I was definitely a surprise baby. Their other children, my brother and sister, were already grown up. The other surprise they got was their discovery that I was not the sharpest knife in the drawer. I struggled through school even with having tutors. I guess almost all of the brains had already been passed out by the time it was my turn. That was a great disappointment to my family. Everyone else had college degrees and good jobs. By the time I graduated high school I knew I wasn’t going to college. My family knew it too.

They were worried about me becoming independent and being able to support myself, but I was determined to do just that. My parents had retired by then and I didn’t want to become a burden to them. I told them I was going to get a job and get my own place. Easier said than done.

I wasn’t being picky about the jobs I was willing to take either. I was willing to do anything for a paycheck, but every place I went there were plenty of others wanting the same position even if it was a dish washing or a busboy position in a restaurant. All the other people wanting the jobs always had more experience than me. I didn’t have any. It was quite discouraging. I thought about enlisting in the Army, but I wasn’t sure if even they would want me.

I used a bicycle to get around since it was a lot cheaper than driving a car and it was the only form of transportation I could afford anyway. I was pedaling home from some more job hunting when I saw this old lady pushing a wheelbarrow up a long sloping driveway and it looked like she was having a hard time doing it. I stopped at the end of her driveway.

“May I help you move that, ma’am?”

“You most certainly may, young man.” I got off my bike and pushed the barrow up the driveway while the lady walked the bike beside me.

“My name’s Max.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Max. My name is Rose. It was certainly kind of you to help me. I do have a few more chores. Can you spare a couple of hours? I can pay you.”

“I can’t right now because I have my good clothes on, but I can come back tomorrow whenever you say.”

“Nine o’clock will be fine.”

I was real happy to finally get a job even if it was just for a couple of hours. I got up bright and early the next day and arrived at Rose’s house right on time. She had me raking leaves, loading trash barrels and turning mulch piles for the rest of the morning.

“I like to do my own gardening,” said Rose. “The so-called gardeners today mow the lawn and blow some leaves around. Then they think they’re done. That’s not gardening.” She also hated the racket the power tools made and just used hand tools. Even her lawnmower was the old push type.

It was a warm morning and I was all hot and sweaty. Rose left to do something else. I was out of sight behind the garage so I decided to take off my t-shirt. I felt a lot better. I’d just started raking again when I heard someone gasp. I looked up and saw Rose staring at me. She looked surprised. It took me a moment to realize she was probably upset with me being half naked.

“I’m sorry!” I blurted and rushed to put my t-shirt back on. She finally smiled.

“Don’t worry about it, Max. Sometimes I wish I could get away with doing that myself. I just came to tell you lunch is ready if you’re hungry.” Well, I’d completely forgotten about packing a lunch and suddenly I was starving.

“Is it all right?”

“Of course it’s all right.” Rose led me inside the house and showed me where to clean up. When I came out she introduced me to Priscilla and Mary Lou. The two ladies looked as old as Rose. We sat down and had sandwiches and lemonade for lunch.

“Tell us a little about yourself, Max,” said Mary Lou.

“There isn’t much to tell. I’m 18 years old. I just graduated from high school and I’m out job hunting.”

“What about college?”

“I’m afraid I’m not smart enough for college. I got through high school by the skin of my teeth. What about you three?” I was told Rose was 78 years old. Priscilla was 80 and Mary Lou was 82. They were sisters and they were widows. They had done pretty well for themselves and were enjoying their retirement, but still keeping active. They decided to live together because they still enjoyed each others company. They each had children and grandchildren.

“Well, I have to get back to work,” I said. “Thank you for the sandwich and the lemonade.”

“Wait a minute,” said Priscilla. “What about the beefcake? I want to see some beefcake.”

“I wouldn’t mind dessert,” I said. Priscilla and Mary Lou laughed. Rose looked embarrassed.

“She means you, dear.”

“I’m beefcake?”

“I told my sisters how handsome you look bare-chested.” I grinned when I realized what Rose meant. I’m not a muscle man but I do like to keep myself in good physical shape.

“So what about it,” Priscilla asked.

“Here?”

“Why not?”

“Only if you don’t mind,” Rose added.

“I don’t mind.” I stood up and took off my shirt.

“Nice!” Priscilla exclaimed. I started posing like the body builders do.

“May I touch you, Max,” Mary Lou asked. I started playing some music in my head and strutted over to her. She caressed my biceps and then moved her cool dry hands to my chest. I felt two more pairs of hands on my back and butt. I was getting excited and didn’t much care how old these women were compared to me. Someone’s hand brushed my crotch.

“Holy shit! He’s got a boner!” Priscilla cried. “Do you wanna get lucky, Max?”

“Priscilla, you shameless slut! You can’t ask him that.”

“Why the hell not? He’s of age, isn’t he?”

“Because I found him first.”

“And I asked first. You lose.”

“Damn you! You’re always trying to steal my boyfriends.”

“And succeeding mostly.”

“Only because you spread your legs for every boy with a nickel to offer.”

“That’s a dirty lie! I never did anything for less than a half dollar and that only got a boy a hand job. Anyway, I don’t recall you introducing Max as your boyfriend. Bitch!”

“Whore!”

“Cock sleeve!”

“Calm down you two,” said Mary Lou. “I’m sure you’re not making a very good impression on this young man. I’m also sure if he had the slightest interest in either one of you old crones, it has since disappeared based on the way you’re both behaving. Besides, I’m sure he already has a girlfriend, likely more than one.”

“I don’t have a girlfriend,” I said. “In fact, I’ve never had a girlfriend or even a date for that matter.”

“A virgin!” Priscilla gasped. I blushed. She was right. I was always shy around women or girls of any age and it didn’t help when I was turned down by the girls I did ask out. I gave up asking after a while. By the time I turned 18 I was sure I was going to be a virgin for the rest of my life.

“In that case,” said Mary Lou, “I hereby volunteer my services to rid you of your cherry, Max.”

“Hold on there,” Priscilla protested. “This is between me and Rose. Where do you get off butting in on our business?”

“And what makes you think Max would prefer either of you two tramps over a lady like me?”

“Lady? Ha! Go fuck yourself,” Rose exclaimed.

“For once, I agree with Rose,” said Priscilla. “Go fuck yourself.”

“Let’s let Max decide which of us he wants,” Mary Lou responded. All three looked at me and I suddenly felt like I was completely naked. I knew I had to say something.

“I like all three of you,” I said.

“Well, that was diplomatic,” said Priscilla, “but it doesn’t solve anything, honey.” I guessed she was right. I wasn’t being helpful.

“Can’t I do all three of you?” All three of the ladies gasped. I guessed I said the wrong thing again.

“Max IS a teenager,” said Rose.

“That’s true,” said Mary Lou.

“That means he can probably get it up more than once a day,” said Priscilla.

“I can get it up ten times a day,” I declared, “and cum each time besides.” I wasn’t just making that up. I’ve kept count. Still, I was embarrassed by my outburst. I was going to have to learn to keep my mouth shut. Rose grabbed me by the hand and started pulling me toward a door.

“Where are you going with him,” Priscilla asked. She sounded annoyed. “He hasn’t decided.”

“I’ve decided for him.”

“That’s cheating!”

“So I’m a cheater. Sue me.”

“I hope you like saggy tits, Max.”

“I’m next,” Mary Lou called.

“What? I asked first and suddenly I’m last?” Priscilla complained. “Let’s play rock paper scissors for the number two spot.”

“You know I can’t play rock paper scissors with my arthritis. Besides, you always cheat and have since you were a little girl.”

“We can draw straws.”

“Forget it!” They continued bickering, but I was already out of earshot of the two sisters so I couldn’t hear what they were saying.

“All three of us have saggy tits, Max,” said Rose as she led me into a bedroom and closed the door.

“I don’t care,” I responded. “I’m glad you’re the first.” Rose hugged me.

“It’s sweet of you to say that, darling. I am too.”

“I just hope Mary Lou and Priscilla don’t stay mad at you.”

“The only thing they’re mad about is that neither of them thought of grabbing you before I did.