Naive Memories #2

The other day my brother told me something I found hard to believe. He claimed that sperm are like warriors and that they will kill other men’s sperm. Basically stating that if a man ejaculates in a woman and then another man ejaculates in her, a sperm battle royale would ensue. According to him, even the shape of the penis is such that during sex, it will pull out any existing semen in the vagina as it moves in and out. All of this based on the Darwinian idea of survival of the fittest.

So what did I do? I did a bit of searching on the internet and found bits and pieces supporting his claim. Enough to give his off the cuff statements some validity. Not sure why, but I think he was a bit offended when I told him what I did. Still, my doubt was not completely unwarranted as he would often twist the information to fit his own claims.

Then one day he came to my room with a serious face and asked if we could talk about sex. At first I thought he was looking for insight. My mistake as it quickly became him trying to find out if I was having sex. At first I went along with it. He seemed sincere and I was intrigued as to why he would want to know. That is until we landed on birth control. There was no way I was going to ask mom for birth control pills, so I was completely dependent on condoms. As effective as they may be, so many of my friends said that it feels so much better without them. Called it riding bareback.

That’s when my brother offered his solution. Perhaps it was a bit of guilt at play from the previous interaction we had about his warrior sperm, or just my desire to finally ditch using latex. Either way I was listening.

He said that sperm are sensitive to familial genetic codes and that they function to protect the women of the family. Not only that, but rather than seek out the egg, they actually form a barrier around the egg preventing impregnation from unwanted sperm. He went on claiming that his new research also stated that familial genetics in sperm have evolved to prevent in-breeding where the egg will not permit the familial sperm to breach the barrier.

Ultimately his proposal centered on my enjoyment and for my protection.