My downward spiral to a becoming a slut.

I think from the minute I was born I was in competition with my older sister. She beat me on this earth by four years and that in itself was frustrating for me. She of course was unhappy that I was getting more of mommy’s attention or so I was told anyway. But it only got worse when I learned to walk and to talk. We would fight over toys and over blankets and over the TV remote anything two little girls could find to argue about. As we continued to get older it only got worse. Both of us learned to be more devious taking each others favorite stuffed animal, CD or games even each others cloths not that we could wear them but simply to hide them and eventually to ruin them.

We both excelled in school, how could we not we had to get the better grades then one another and win the most awards. Sometimes, I’m not sure how my mother didn’t just kill us both, because it seemed constant. One thing I loved and was able to throw in her face was that even though she was 4 years older then me (technically three and a half) I ended up being only three grades behind her. My birthday fell on one of those months that let me start school younger then most kids and I rubbed it in her face any chance I got.

As could be expected it only got worse when she got old enough to start liking boys. I would try my best to be a pest if she was near a boy she liked and try to hang around them as much as I could. Of course any parent has to keep an eye on a young girl starting to like boys so my mom served as my ally in frustrating my sister on this not letting her be alone with them. I made my mom’s job easy as I inserted myself into her space every minute I got the chance.

And of course as we started maturing in that area our looks and clothes started to be a factor. The odd thing is that even though we were sisters our looks were polar opposites. My sister got most of her looks from our mom and I got mine from our dad. Mom was always one of those motherly type looking ladies. She was well over weight, dark curly hair, pretty brown eyes and easy tanning skin. Dad was tall, skinny, blond and pretty much looked like a nerd. Well like I said she picked up most of moms characteristics and I picked up dad’s. Even our names, seemed to reflect the parent we looked like as like my mother Sheila, my sisters name was Sherri started with an S. And like my father Tom my name Tori started with a T. My sister had long thick wavy brown hair. She had what my father called beautiful brown eyes. Her skin tanned so easily and she always seemed tan but she did struggle with her weight growing up and mom had to watch how much she ate to keep her from getting too fat. I guess you would say she was a little bit plump but still pretty and she was like mom very short. I had very light blond hair it was thin and straight as a pin and hardly would hold a curl even after using a curling iron and I had bright blue eyes. But unlike my sister who liked all food I was a very picky eater. While my mom had to watch everything she put in her mouth, my mom had to work hard to make sure I wasn’t malnourished. I also got dad’s metabolism and I was bone skinny almost too much so. It didn’t seem to matter how much I ate I just burned away the calories quickly and stayed thin. I also hated my skin tone. Unlike my sister who tanned so easily I got my fathers ghostly genes and was pale as practically milk. I didn’t tan one bit and would freckle and burn if in the sun very long. My sister loved this fact as my mom really had to watch out to keep sun screen on me. And I hated the fact that while she had perfect teeth, I had to wear braces on mine. I swear I had ridiculously long legs. When I was younger I hated them as they seemed to make me awkward and clumsy and I’d run into things and trip over things. But as I got older I liked them more. As my sister stopped growing at as a young teen I kept getting taller. Not too long after I was only a few inches shorter then she was. As a teenager my sister got my mom’s round curves and got full boobs she was wearing a C cup not too many years later she was a full D. I was distraught as my chest looked more like a boy till I finally my nipples finally started to poke out. But even after that started I developed very little and I barely needed a training bra and used tissue to stuff a padded A cup bra.

One of my biggest jealousy time came after my sister got her drivers license. Now she easily could leave me and go off and be alone with her friends. However as she developed into a teenager she lacked self confidence and didn’t seem to attract the boys much. She had a few boy friends but they were pretty much geeks and she had only gotten to second base, with heavy kissing and letting her boy friends touch her greatest asset her large breasts. But to her own detriment she was shy and reserved. She was then a junior in high school and not part of the popular crowd. She was loved by her teachers and respected in the high school. She would get so frustrated at our mother because I was allowed to do so many things younger then she had been like wearing make up. While still with a baby face and no chest to speak of, once I started wearing makeup I started to catch the attention of boys. Now I was learning to love my long legs and drove my mother crazy with how short I would wear shorts and skirts. The coolest thing is not only were boys around my age noticing me but guys my sister knew in the high school did too even though I was still in my last year of middle school, eighth grade.

The summer before my entry into high school is where my life drastically changed. In our neighborhood half way down the block lived an older boy named Scott. Scott grew up with us and frequently played with us when we were all kids, but as he got older we saw less and less of him. Mostly because he was gorgeous and grew into a very popular guy, quarterback of the varsity football team even as a junior. My sister had a crazy crush on him from afar and I do mean FAR as Scott didn’t give her the time of day and hardly would acknowledge she was alive. Besides the pictures of her favorite movie star crushes, and music star crushes, my sister even had a few small pictures from school newspaper clippings of Scott on her crush wall of fame. I barely noticed this until that summer.

Unlike my sister, shy and unpopular, I had a booming personality. I was loud and fun and cute and other kids liked to be around me. Because of my sisters age I even managed to make friends with some of the high school girls, mostly freshman and sophomores. One summer day with nothing much to do I went to the neighborhood pool with some of my girl friends. Well being rail thin and having long legs I was able to wear a bikini quite well, with a little help from padding in the top. One of the girls that was in my group Lisa had made varsity cheerleader as a sophomore so she had become pretty popular in the high school. As we were splashing around the pool she noticed and pointed out the hot lifeguard, who turned out to be Scott and we all joked and flirted with him while he worked his part time job. I didn’t think too much about it for the next couple of days until a few days later I had gone into my sister’s room to look for my iPod that she had “borrowed” when I noticed the newspaper clippings on her wall. I was alone in her room so I took a few minutes and read the article with the picture and realized it was the boy Scott from down the street and he was the same Scott the lifeguard that I had chatted and flirted with at the pool. I finished my reading and grabbed my iPod back and forgot about it for a few more days. Out of pure coincidence one evening at dinner my mother was trying to encourage my sister about boys and asked her, “What about that boy down the street? Scott, I think his name is. Didn’t you girls used to play with him?” “Mommmm,” my sister replied, “he’s practically the most popular boy in my school he wouldn’t give me the time of day.” My ears perked up at all this and as always being a brat I replied quickly, “No he would not, not in your lifetime.” “Tori,” my mom corrected me, “I’m trying to encourage your sister. Be nice.” And the conversation moved on.

The next day I decided to go down to the pool on my own for the first time. On my way in, I saw him and felt my pulse race. “Hi,” my voice squeaked. Scott took a moment trying to figure out who I was and said with question in his voice, “Mmmichelle?” I shook my head no and said, “Tori.” And felt a lump in my tummy as I reached out to shake his hand. “Where are you going?” I asked bravely to which he replied, “Home, I just finished my shift, gotta work on my car.” To which my heart sunk. “I swallowed hard working up every ounce of courage I had and asked, “Can I come?” The next moment waiting for an answer seemed to stretch out forever and I watched Scott’s eyes go up and down my body as I stood there in my bikini. “Sure, why not,” he replied and I could breath again. And we began to walk to his home.

As we walked we had chit chat. He asked me what grade I was in and I stretched the truth by saying I was a freshman, well I would be that coming school year. He asked me if I played sports to which I replied volleyball. He told me he played football which of course I already knew. We got to his house and went around the back where there was an old classic 69 Ford Mustang with the hood already open. “There’s my baby,” he stated with pride in his voice. I just giggled. “Isn’t she a dream,” he stated obviously as if he knew I thought so too. To which I nodded and said “Uh huh.” He then true to his word grabbed some tools and started working on his car. I felt a bit awkward, because even though I am self confident, I don’t normally stand around in peoples back yards in a bikini. He had me turn on his radio and had me hand him tools, most of which he had to describe as I didn’t know their name and worked on his car. He was very focused and serious working on it for quiet a while laying under it for a while then standing at the hood bent over working away. Finally at one point he looked up at me and smiled a nice smile and then reached to my tummy and smeared black grease across my skin. I gasped and pulled back and he laughed hard. I then laughed too until I saw a mischievous look in his eye and he reached for me just as I darted back and he started chasing me around his car. Now he had on good shoes, and I only had on flip flops and he was quite the athlete so he caught me easily and proceeded to hold me and smear grease all over my skin. He made thorough work of it and soon there wasn’t mouth of my bare skin and in the bikini there was a lot of that, that did not have grease on it. He then pinned me firmly against the car and kissed me hard. Now I will tell you, that other then little innocent pecks from other little boys my age, it was my first kiss. And thank god like most girls I had talked about kissing with them and read multiple article in teen magazines on how to kiss, because he quickly pushed his tongue at my mouth and I only hoped it didn’t take me as long as it felt like to open and let his tongue penetrate my lips. God he was strong and tall. He was a very aggressive guy and pinned me firmly to the car pushing me back over the open hood onto the engine kissing me hard.

This was Scott one of the most popular boys in my sister’s high school, giving ME my first French kiss. The boy on her wall of fame. I did nothing to resist his aggression and even felt him grab and rub my butt which I did my best to ignore. When he finally stopped and stood me up again, he smiled almost shyly at me and then touched his greasy finger to my nose. He picked up a tool again and was leaning over to start working again when I felt a stinging on my back, I reached back to feel it and then pulled my hand forward and had blood on my fingers. “Scott!” I said as I started to cry and he looked up almost starting to look angry at me for distracting him but then his eyes saw the blood on my fingers and he turned me and looked and walked me inside his house. I had a pretty good cut on my back but he found his mother who cleaned it up and put a gauze pad and tape over it. She then yelled at him for all the grease all over me and helped me to start wiping it off. Finally giving him the washcloth letting him finish considering it was all over my body. We hung out the rest of the afternoon inside as he began playing Nintendo. He tried to teach me how to play but I was not very good at it and when his mother was otherwise occupied we kissed some more. Finally as dinner time got closer I knew I had to leave. He asked me if I wanted to come over again tomorrow to help him work on his car and I quickly agreed. And home I went.

I was stunned I had made out with one of the most popular boys in the high school the boy my sister had newspaper clippings of on her wall of fame, she would hate me if this came to anything. The next day I went to his house again and helped him with the car, he looked a little disappointed I did not figure out why till later. We kissed a lot again and I was getting better at knowing the names of the tools. We had a nice time and he got the car running to which he was very happy. I asked could he take me for a ride and he was excited to do so. We drove around the neighborhood first and I was hoping we’d run into my sister but we didn’t. Then his mother called him on his cell phone asking him to get some items at the grocery store. We went inside there hand in hand and I helped him carry the groceries out to his car on our way out, there mom and Sherri were.