My craving for a man

I really don’t know how and when I began having cravings for men. I have always had a girlish body, thin build, small waist, very little body hair, although what I think that set me apart from most boys was my butt. I often was mistaken for a girl because of my bubble, heart shaped butt. I am not totally gay…. I guess, because girls do turn me on.

When I was growing up I would often go stay at my aunt’s house in the summer. I got to do fun things that I was not aloud to do at home like stay out late with friends and sometimes my cousin (whom was my age) and I would go drinking.

This particular summer I was around 14 years old when I went to visit my cousin. My cousin and I went to a party and I got really drunk. When we got back home I went straight to bed, that my cousin and I shared when I would visit. I managed to get out of clothes and put on a t-shirt and squeezed into some old track shorts that were really getting to small for me but that’s all I found at the time. Well it was around two in the morning when I felt someone touching my butt. I paid no mind since it was probably my cousin getting comfortable in bed and I was still quite drunk. I slipped back to sleep and was woke again by a hand caressing my ass. I was shocked, although I dared not to move. I laid there motionless as possible, I couldn’t believe that my cousin was grabbing my ass. As I laid there pretending to be asleep my cousin kept caressing my ass and gently squeezing it. I then felt something warm touch me, he was sliding it up and down my ass and thighs all the way up to my lower back. Could this be his dick? I thought to myself. After a few minutes I felt his finger squeeze into my tight shorts as he gently rubbed my ass and slowly slipping his finger between my ass cheeks and slowly rubbing my hole. He then gently tried to stick his finger inside me but it started to hurt so I tried to act restless in my sleep. He then stopped and left his hand inside my shorts hopping I would go back to sleep. He did not try anything else that night. He removed his hand and went to sleep. I could not fall back asleep that night having my cousin feel me up made me very horny. I heard my cousin snoring so I gently took the covers off of him. He was only wearing some white briefs. He had a very impressive bulge between his legs. I gently put my hand on his crotch carefully rubbing the outline of his dick with my fingers. That wasn’t enough I had to see it and feel it.