My Beautiful Best Friend

Alison and I are at a café one summer afternoon, sipping on iced mochas under a patio umbrella.
“Are you going?” Alison asks.
“Sure, why wouldn’t I go,” I reply.
“Well, Elaine might be there,” she says.
“It’s okay. I’m over it,” I tell her.

Just so everyone is in the know, I’m Kevin and I just finished my first year at NYU. My good friend, Alison, just finished her first year at Columbia. We are both from New Jersey, which is where we grew up. I have known Alison since I came to America from Korea at the age of 9. She was the only person who didn’t treat me funny at the time for being from another country. She is pretty much my best friend and I’m glad we’re both in New York during the best years of our lives so I could at least see her when we weren’t too overwhelmed with midterms or assignments as I couldn’t imagine going through this without her.

Sometime in July after our first year, a friend is having a birthday party in his new apartment, which both Alison and I are invited to. Apparently my friend’s roommate met her one night at a party and they hit it off decently so he invited her. My friend also happens to be good friends with Elaine, who is my ex.

Also, no one knows this but I used to have a huge crush on Alison when we were thirteen. Let’s face it, thanks to puberty and all the hormones that were running through us, all guys would start looking at their female acquaintances differently, let alone someone as sweet as Alison. One day in the eighth grade, the school had an assembly where her class formed a ballet troupe and performed and I just remember at that point in my mind, she went from little Alison with pigtails and rainbow long stockings to, well, still little Alison as she never grew any taller than 5’1” but other parts were and are definitely not so little anymore. I started to notice her blossoming bosom and her butt was starting to take a curvy form. That was also the First Time my dick had an erection. At first I thought I was only physically attracted to her but I found that I was really digging her bubbly personality, how she always smiled at everyone. Despite the personality clashes that come with the high school experience, no one dared mocked or disrespected her because of how awesome she is. Puppy love had a way of torturing me and I was practically head over heels as were many others, I’m sure. Of course, I never acted on these urges as I didn’t want to risk our friendship. However, there was a time in ninth grade where we were playing truth or dare with a bunch of friends and she was forced to kiss me. That was one of the most memorable kisses in my life.

As time went on, these feelings faded and we both started dating other people. She was in high demand, with a guy asking her out every other week. Her dating history’s a bit more extensive than mine, having had around 9 boyfriends during high school but none of them were serious, lasting probably no more than two months each. I even started to make fun of her for not being able to hold on to a man. Whereas with me, I didn’t really start seeing anyone until my junior year when I started going out with Elaine, one of the popular girls at school who could pretty much be a walkway model. When I say model, I mean it as she’s stick thin with long legs, barely a bust but an incredible set of Blowjob lips. Everyone at the time thought I was getting the best head of my life but the truth is, we never did anything. I didn’t mind though since I really did like this girl. She and Alison had a mutual friend but Alison didn’t really like Elaine all that much and vice versa. Alison would tolerate her for my sake but there were many times when she would let slip about how much she didn’t like her but she would always bite her tongue before she gets too far. Elaine was always jealous of the relationship between Alison and I but I think it’s more the fact that Alison with her 5’1” frame managed to fill out quite nicely with a really nice bust whereas the 5’8” Elaine is practically flat-chested. Just imagine Elaine’s figure as Sarah Michelle Gellar’s where it’s stick thin with no breasts whereas Alison is like Sarah Michelle Gellar from 15 years ago when she was still meaty, juicy and had ample bosoms for her small frame. Alison is not one to show off either – despite being quite fashionable, she always covered herself up but Elaine, being an aspiring model, always had something form fitting on with a pushup bra and would try to expose as much skin as possible without getting into trouble.

Anyway, long story short, Elaine broke up with me a week before prom so she could go with this tall white guy who is some amateur photographer and supposedly had “contacts” in the modeling industry. Rumors have it that they hooked up that night at the hotel. Needless to say, that felt like the worst night of my life. Thankfully summer went by busily and before I knew it, I was moving to New York City and even met someone at school, Lena, but it didn’t work out. And here I am now, back in Jersey after finishing my freshman year. It feels good to be back, to meet up with some old friends and trade stories about our year.

“You want me to go with you?” Alison asks about the party.
“Nah, I’ll be fine. What time are you going?” I ask.
“Probably around 8,” she says.
“I told him that I’ll be there by 7:30ish,” I say. “So I guess I’ll see you there?”
“Yah. But you know what you should do? Load your iPhone with tons of pictures of Lena. She’s hot and has brains. It would totally piss Elaine off,” she says.
“I’m not gonna stoop that low,” I tell her. “Plus, Lena and I aren’t even seeing each other anymore.”
“Whatever, Kev,” she says. “Just sayin…”
We both finish our drinks and head home.

That evening, I arrive by myself dressed in a simple plaid button up with sleeves rolled up and a pair of jeans to an apartment playing hip hop off an iPod and there are about fifteen guests or so in the living room, munching away at some pizza, chips and the usual student party assortment of junk food. Everyone there seems cool for the most part. The roommate however looks like a pompous hipster with his white tie on black striped shirt and suit, wearing shades inside the apartment and a dumb looking top hat. The thing that bothers me most is that one line of hair that runs down his chin from his lips and it just SCREAMS douchebag! I can’t believe Alison might be going out with this guy now.

I make the usual greetings and high fives before I hear some rowdiness coming out of the kitchen. And suddenly, I see Elaine stumbling out of the kitchen with a beer bottle in hand and her face red as a tomato. She’s gained weight since high school. Either she packed on the freshman fifteen or that so called modeling career is not working out and she’s now drinking herself to death. She’s certainly filled out, which I guess is what she’s always yearned for but along with it, she now has gained a bit of a baby bump, which I assume is from the beer and not her being preggers as she is happily gulping down the bottle in her hand.

“HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY, KEVIN!!!!!” she screamed out.
“Hey…” I say awkwardly. “Nice to see you again, Elaine.”
“Dude, I’m sorry,” my friend says. “I forgot to tell you she was coming.”
“It’s all right,” I tell him. “No worries.”

I turn around to see this big hairy person shoving his tongue down her throat and I mentally throw up a little in my mouth. Suddenly, I hear a familiar voice say out loud, “Whoa, when did a grizzly bear knock up your ex?” It’s Alison and holy mercy, she is looking absolutely FINE. A form fitting purple sleeveless dress with a v-neck that exposes a hint of cleavage, all tucking to her with form fitting precision that expertly shows off her curves and turning many heads in the room. I don’t remember ever seeing any cleavage on her, not even from wearing her prom dress last year. Her hair is down from her usual ponytail, split in the middle and falling to her sides at about slightly lower than her shoulder in length. She’s standing slightly taller than usual due to a pair of heeled boots that gives her an extra 3 inches. James walks up to her and tries to plant a kiss on her but she turns her cheek to him instead.

I go up to her and give her “the look” – no, not the “hey baby” look, but the “really, him?” look.
“What?” she says.
“Okay, I know you’re studying art at Columbia and that crowd can get a bit hipster-ish but c’mon, him?” I tell her.
“Since when did you start getting so defensive?” she asks.
“Hey, you had your comments on who I dated so as your best friend, don’t I deserve the same courtesy?” I reply.
“We’re not dating,” she explains. “I’m just coming to his party.”
“That’s some dress for just a party,” I tell her, pointing up and down.

Throughout the party, I try to have a good time but everywhere I go, Elaine and her man-bear would always pop up and be going at it with their mouths. Both of them stink with alcohol and the guy is sweating so bad, he needs a shower. I thought that since I keep on bumping into them, I should try to make conversation.

“So, when did you two start?”
“About two months ago,” Elaine tells me with a slur. “I was going through a rough time with my last boyfriend and along came Pauly who is so gentle and nice. And BIG if you know what I mean.”
And “Pauly”, as classy as he can be, chimes in with a “Yah, she has the tightest little asshole ever! Mmm nm.”

Great, I thought. Two years when she still had a decent figure and I got nothing but three months with this guy and she’s shitting all over his dick. I look in disbelief as he asks “So how do you know Elaine?” I get up and head over to the kitchen, saying “I need a drink.” “Mind getting us each one?” asks Pauly. Before I could grant such a request, I boldly ask “Elaine, you’re not pregnant, are you?”
“Hell no! I pull out every time,” he says. And with that, I turn around and walk into the kitchen where Alison and the roommate are sitting. The way she’s looking at me, I’m pretty sure she saw the whole thing.

“Are you okay?” she asked.
“Yah, I’m fine…” I’m not fine and she can tell.
“Let’s get out of here,” she suggests.
“No, it’s fine.” I tell her.
“Hey bro, if you’re fine then be on your merry way and leave us alone,” says Mr. Douche.
“Shut up, James!” Alison yells out.
“No, he’s right. I shouldn’t be bugging you guys,” I tell her.
“Don’t worry about me. Just make sure you’re okay and if you need anything, I’m here,” she says as she puts an arm around my shoulder to give me a hug.
As soon as she releases her hold, I nonchalantly say, “So Elaine might be giving birth to the child of that man-bear in about 6 months.”
“REALLY?” Alison asks.
“Well, no,” I reply. “But judging from their lack of safety contraceptive methods and that god awful baby bump, it’s highly probable. Though if she is preggers and keeps drinking the way she does, her baby will either end up dead or looking like a monkey.” Alison giggles from hearing that.