Mother_(2)

I was 13 and Dad was off with his girlfriend again. I had met her some time ago and did not make the connection. Mum took it bad but I think it hit me harder. Give him a couple of days and he’d be back.

I went to bed early that night which I generally did with the intention of having a long read. I devoured books at a rate of knots so was always in the library looking for more science fiction. A couple of hours immersed in a story and I would doze off as easy as pie. Tonight I found myself rereading the same line over and over as my concentration was way off. So, I gave in, put down the book and tried to go to sleep. My mother I had left downstairs watching the TV, my other, younger sisters had long gone off to sleep in their own room. My mind raced and would not calm.

Soon, I the sound from the TV stopped, the lounge door opened, I heard my mother climbing the stairs to bed and the door closing as she went into her room. Sleep still eluded me. The house was quiet, but after a few minutes I could just hear the sound of my mum crying; a sound just on the edge of my comprehension. Now my senses were attuned to it and it would not let me go to sleep. So I got up.

The only bedroom door that was ever closed was my parent’s, ours were always open. I passed the girl’s room and could see they were both fast asleep. I stopped with my hand on the handle of my mother’s room, paused, took a deep breath and went in. The crying stopped immediately.

“What’s the matter?” she asked.

“I can’t sleep.”

I heard her sigh “No, neither can I.”

“Can I come in bed with you?” I asked.

There was a short pause as she considered the request. As kids you are always trying to sleep with your parents and have no idea why you get turned down. “Just for a bit.” Was the gentle reply.

I lifted the blankets, snuggled up to my mum, she had her back to me I think so I would not see, even in the dark, red-rimmed eyes. I tried to go to sleep. No such fortune but I was so still I suspect my mother thought I was asleep. The sobbing started again so I put my arm around her to try to comfort her. She took hold of my arm to show that it was appreciated but this had the effect of placing my hand on her breast. I still do not know if this was accident or design but I stopped breathing for a second.