How to Have Sex to Save the World

How to Have Sex to Save the World

Copyright Year: 2025

Copyright Notice: by Sergiu Somesan. All rights reserved.

The above information forms this copyright notice:

© 2025 by Sergiu Somesan.

All rights reserved.

ADULT CONTENT – 18+ READERS ONLY!

„This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.”

Sleep had clogged my mouth, making me taste bitter and – for the umpteenth time – swear I’d never put another drink in my mouth. As usual, I’ll forget about these vows as soon as I get to the club with the guys.

I sat up and suddenly realized I wasn’t in my own bed. I reached out my hand and encountered a coarse hair. Before opening my eyes wide, I wondered how drunk I could have been last night to climb into bed with such a woman. I stretched and wanted to turn my back: maybe if I pretended to sleep on, she would have the good sense to leave without me having to see her again. Fat chance: women, the coarser their hair, the more insensitive they are – I found myself formulating one of the maxims I’d forget once I’d gotten over a hangover.

A kick in the ribs made me suddenly open my eyes to an unbelievable scene: I was lying half on top of the bushy mane of a lion snoring softly, and a little further away a lioness was visible. My hand was resting on the lion’s mane, that was the coarse hair I felt, and – over all the absurdity of the situation – I breathed a sigh of relief: no matter how drunk I am, I’m not going to get into bed with a woman with such wiry hair! Beneath me – as under the lion, for that matter – was golden sand, and when I looked up, a few meters away from us I saw the blue water of a lake from which a crocodile was sleepily poking its head. Or an alligator – for I never really knew them very well. What I didn’t like about the whole thing was that, sleepy as he was, his gaze was fixed with undisguised interest on me.

“A zoo,” I said to myself. “That’s the explanation! Someone – and I’m going to find out who – took advantage of my terrible drunkenness last night, gave me a sleeping pill or a drug, and put me in here among these beasts.” I was just thinking that in no zoo in the world are lions and crocodiles put in the same place, when I got another kick in the ribs:

“Are you ever going to wake up?”

I looked toward the possessor of the voice. A well-built woman, as out of the commercials that beckon you to the South Seas, naked-glutted, was insistently nudging me with her foot somewhere between the second and third rib. With her hands she tried without much success to cover either her sex or her overly large breasts. My attempt to close my eyes and treat the whole thing as a natural extension of last night’s drunken bender only drew another foot into my ribs.

“Hey, hold on,” I snapped at my gorgeous dream.

“Wake up!” she growled hissed, in a voice that seemed to hover on the heights of exasperation.

As my only reaction was to lie down better, she continued:

“Wake up yourself, before the lion under you wakes up!”

I took a closer look at the lion. He was already breathing more rapidly and slowly seemed to be starting to wake up.

At one point he blinked and his eyes locked on me. Deciding that the dream was already beginning to be a little too realistic for my tastes, I stood up slowly, followed by his somewhat curious gaze. For now only curious – though I had no idea when that curiosity would take a slightly more aggressive form.

“Oh, God, you’re awake!” the woman next to me said angrily. I thought he would wake up before you.

I looked puzzled. I was as naked as she was. We were standing on the shore of a lake with clear, blue waters, and on the beach around it were a host of sleeping animals. Some were beginning to fall asleep, others were already moving and trying to get to their feet. I stepped lightly over the lion, grabbed the woman by the hand and pulled her forward, then asked:

“Will you tell me what the hell is going on?”

“I’ll tell you, but let’s take a few more steps… That’s why I woke you up… There’s not much time… soon all the animals will be awake.”

I took a few steps away from the animals on the beach.

“Now say it!” I urged.

She looked around indecisively, as if searching for a bench to sit on.