How I Got Jennifer Lawrence Pregnant

I noticed her immediately. Her radiance, her smile…her very promising posterior. I knew exactly who she was, but it seemed unreal. Jennifer Lawrence. My first desire is to go and talk to her, but I need an excuse. I was only at this party to talk up my first screenplay, and I have no reason to advertise it to an actress.

I go for it anyway.

I shuffled awkwardly between some people and made my way to her. She just stood there holding a drink. Then, she looked up at me. I manage a smile.

“Hey,” I said.

“Hey yourself,” she said. She doesn’t seem terribly interested in me, but I guess she has plenty of admirers.

“Big fan of your movies.” God damn the music is loud.

“Thanks.” She smiled at me. Aaaaaand there goes all my material. I guess I should just leave before I–

“You look really hot in that dress,” I heard myself say a bit too loud. She made one of her weird faces at me, so I laughed. Yeah, just joking, I’m not creepy.

“You look sharp yourself, stranger.” Okay, good. She didn’t get offended. I extended my hand.

“I’m Jason.” We shook hands. All I could think was that Jennifer Lawrence was touching the hand I use to masturbate to her.

“Jennifer.”

There was a very awkward pause.

“So what brings you–“

“Do you wanna get drunk?” she asked suddenly and bluntly. I almost laughed. But she was clearly serious.

So Jennifer Lawrence and I did so many shots I lost count and before I know it, we were outside with a few other people. I barely remember what the fuck was going on, but I think James Gandolfini was there.

And I’m fairly certain he’s the one that brought out the acid.

Lights. Laughter. The smell of her hair as we walk arm in arm causing trouble. It’s cliche to say, but it was literally a blur. At some point several hours later, Jennifer and I were lying on the ground at the zoo.

“Whoa,” I said.

“Yeah,” she says. I sat up on my side, staring at her. Needless to say, she’s really fucking hot.

“We should have sex.” I’d never been so brave. Probably the drugs.

“Yeah.”

“You already said that.”

“Yeah.”

And so, in front of the monkey cages, I pulled Jennifer Lawrence’s dress down, revealing her smallish but firm breasts. I attacked her mouth with mine, things once again blurring up in a flurry of tongue and saliva.

She tasted like strawberries.

I squeezed her soft tit with one hand and undid my pants with the other. I pull my dick out and stroke it a bit, but God knows it’s already rock hard. I unceremoniously pushed the bottom of her dress up to reveal her pink panties, with a noticeable wet spot on the front. I rubbed her slit through the thin material before she lifted her round ass off the concrete and slipped put of her bottoms, revealing her cute pink pussy. Breaking the kiss, I venture between her smooth, pale legs and shove my face in her crotch, my tongue already out in anticipation.

She tasted like strawberries.

I lapped at her sweet nectar like a starving animal before directing my attention to her little button, flicking it with my tongue while fingering her tight hole. I tried my best to please her and was rewarded with her squirming wildly and pushing my head between her legs. She let out a soft moan.

“Please fuck me right now,” she said loudly in the family establishment where I’d lost my first tooth almost thirteen years prior. Not wanting to keep a pretty lady waiting, I got on my knees and directed my painfully hard member to her warm cunt. I looked into her eyes as I penetrated Jennifer Lawrence’s tight, wet pussy. Her breaths were loud gasps as I pumped slowly at first, savoring the tight squeeze. I began to speed up, my legs slamming into her, making obscene POP noises, her thighs rippling with the force of my body slamming into hers. Her gasps became moans, which became screams, which only fueled my ravaging of her wet cunt. More than once, she screamed that she was cumming. I swear I felt it, her insides tightening even more until I felt I as being literally grasped, followed by her release.

Finally I felt that familiar sensation in my loins that, under normal circumstances, would signal me to slow down and figure out where I plan on ejaculating. But this time I didn’t care. I just fucked her even harder.

“I’m gonna cum,” I warned her.