Hot Tub Slip

I had known Eric for about 10 years. When I first met him, he was dating a really negative girl, and I never knew what the attraction was. But after a year or two, that ended, and he quickly met and married Melinda after dating only a few months. At first, I thought it was a mistake to marry someone so quickly after breaking it off with someone else. But Melinda was terrific, and seemed a good match for Eric.

Eric, Melinda, and I would go skiing about every other weekend during the winter season. When I was dating a girl, she would usually come along, too. But I’ve always been one to spend more time between relationships than in them. We would usually head up Friday night to Eric’s parent’s cabin, and ski in the area on Saturday and Sunday. When we got back into town, we would meet at my place to soak in the hot tub. Then Eric and Melinda would go home. Occasionally, it would be only Eric and me skiing and hot tubbing. We took advantage of the situation to hot tub in the buff.

Sometime along the way, Eric made the realization that it should be ok for him to be without a suit when all three of us were together, but not for Melinda or me. His reasoning was that it’s ok for guys to see each other naked, and of course, his wife could see him naked. But I couldn’t take off my suit because Melinda was there, and vice versa. So without telling us, he gets into the tub naked—much to the surprise of Melinda and me. After explaining his reasoning to us, we were both thinking “whatever”, and allowed him to get in naked from then on.

One time when only he and I were in the tub, we were talking about a television show we both saw. The characters on the show made a list of people they’d like to have sex with. So we decided to do the same. We were both coming up with way too many names for our own good, and they were all celebrities. Finally we thought we’d try to pick 3 local girls we both knew. We would alternate saying whom, and we couldn’t repeat anybody. We gathered our thoughts for a few minutes. He asked if I was ready, and I said I needed more time (I’m a perfectionist, I wouldn’t want to skip someone important!).

He said “Ah, come on, we’re just pretending, anyway!”

So I said, “Ok, on short notice, I’m ready–but you start”.

“Neighbor Jessica”, he blurts out without hesitation.

“Good choice” I say. I announce my 2nd runner-up: “Your cousin, Kirsten”, to which he says suggestively “oh baby!”

“Suzy from your softball team” he says.

“Ooh, could have been one of mine”. “Natalie, your wife’s friend”

“Of course” he says. I’ve never told him, but he knows I have a crush on her that won’t stop. His final answer: “Hilary from the library.” Hilary was someone who never took care of herself. She weighed at least 200 pounds and always looked like she needed a shower

“Aaaaaaaagh”, I cry. “Come on, who?”

“I don’t know. There’s too many to choose from. How do you expect me to narrow it down to just three?”

“We agreed, honor your commitment,” I demanded.

“Can’t do it—give me a minute. Tell me yours.”

“Fine. And I thought I was the perfectionist. Last one—I mean highest overall choice: Amanda, Natalie’s friend from their work.”

Eric retorts “Been used, try again.”

“Huh?” I’m confused.

“You just used her. Or did her. Or whatever.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Who did you say before Amanda?”

“Natalie.”

“See—same person!”

“What?!”

“Amanda and Natalie are so much alike, even Amanda’s mom can’t tell them apart. So effectively, they are the same person. Been used, try again!”

I’m dazed by his logic, but that’s Eric. I think out loud “So if they are the same person, that means they count as only one…and I get them both…together…as one…or something like that! Hey that’s alright!” “Ok, let me try to think of someone even better.”

We both sit and think about our last choice for a while. Suddenly, it hits me.

“Got it…ready?”

Eric sits up excitedly in his seat, ready to be impressed.

“Angelina from the grocery store.” Her name rolls off my tongue.

Eric sits there for a moment. I can tell he has no idea who I’m talking about.

“You know the really quiet, dark-skinned girl that keeps her long black hair tied up most of the time.