Helping Hands

Sunday morning, the phone rang. It was Alicia, the lady next door

“Hey, Mike,” she said. “Do you know anything about DVD players?”

“A little bit,” I said. “How come?”

”Mine’s not working,” she said. “I can’t get a repair guy because it’s Sunday. Do you mind looking at it?” “Nope,” I replied. “I’m not doing anything major. Give me a minute and I’ll be over.”

Tom and Alicia were living next door when I moved in a year or so ago. He was in his 40s, kind of a dorky looking guy who seldom talked about anything but his job when I saw him. He was very much a gladhander, very corporate, and kinda cheesy, to be honest. Alicia, on the other hand, was in her mid-30’s, a natural blonde, and fun to talk to. She was a stay-at-home mom to her 6 year old, but before that, as she’d told me in conversation, she’d been a regional planner for a chain store I won’t mention here.

Alicia wasn’t a model type, which is fine by me. She was about 5’2”, had wide hips and a great ass (which I had secretly admired), and small but well-rounded breasts, which I had also secretly admired when she was outside doing things in their yard. I was kind of blah about Tom but I enjoyed talking over the fence with Alicia.

To be honest, I was a bit lonely, and Alicia had sometimes been a fantasy of mine as well. Having her be social was pretty nice.

I’d inherited my house after my stepdad died and left it to me in my will, and after a rather difficult breakup with my last girlfriend, I gave up on Delaware and moved back here, working in a motorcycle shop. It paid the bills, I had a bit of an inheritance, and I was OK being by myself and calm for once. I couldn’t get laid for shit, but otherwise the little suburban town was nice and quiet, and it gave me time to work on the book I’d been writing.

I knocked on the door and Alicia answered. She was wearing a blouse and some shorts, and she looked a bit flushed, kind of pink, which was cute on her. She grinned her charming lopsided grin and said, “How ya doing?”

“Just writing on my day off,” I said. “I appreciate your coming over,” she replied. “You want to take a look at the machine?”

“Sure,” I said. I walked into the house and she led me to the den. I followed her, admiring her bouncy ass and feeling a bit guilty about it – but still admiring it anyway.

“This damn thing is not working,” she announced, pointing at the JVC that sat on top of the TV. “I can’t get the playback to work.” She flipped on the TV, and the screen was blue. “Is there a DVD in there?” I said.

“I’m not…sure,” she said with an odd hesitation. She still seemed kind of pink, as if she was blushing. I figured, she’s too embarrassed to admit she messed it up, and passed it off. Anyway, it was kinda cute.

I hit the eject button on the remote. Nothing doing. I hit the eject button on the unit itself, nothing doing. All I heard was a “rrrrrrrRRRRrrr” sound, and that was that.

I poked around at the door of the DVD player, which would not open, and spotted a little hole to the side of the DVD player. “You have a paperclip?” I said. “Sure,” Alicia said. She disappeared into another room and came back with one, which I untwisted, and poked the end of it into the hole next to the DVD door. There was another “RRrrrr” and then a “click,” and another “Rrrrr,” the door opened, and it disgorged a DVD, which was not centered when it was put in and had somehow gotten stuck. I flipped the DVD out without looking at it, centered it in the player, punched the button, and it slid back in.

“OK,” I told her, “I think you’re good to go. Try it out and see.”

She pressed play. On screen appeared a close-up of a woman’s hand on a very hard penis. The woman’s hand moved smoothly and firmly over the man’s cock, going from top to bottom and stroking it thoroughly. The camera pulled back to reveal a very attractive couple, both obviously enjoying what they were doing.

”Oh, my God,” Alicia said. “Oh, shit.” I was just about as embarrassed, because I knew I’d been staring. I turned toward her, and I have to admit I’ve never quite seen someone blush that hard. I was dead sure I was blushing myself.

We both started to apologize at the same time. “I, um, I…” she said.
“Oh, I um…I shouldn’t have stared,” I said. “No,” she said, “I shouldn’t have just turned it on without…” She couldn’t finish because she started laughing, and seeing her crack up over the whole thing made me laugh as well.

“Well,” she said when she caught her breath, “now you know I’m a pervert who looks at porn. Oh, God.” She reddened again.

“Look,” I said. “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. I have no room to talk, and to be honest I have stuff like that in my collection, too. So it’s not weird.”

“Yeah, but you’re a guy,” she said. “Women aren’t supposed to look at this stuff, are they?” She almost – was I kidding myself?