Harry Potter and the Sword of Gryffindor Chapter Nine

Harry Potter and the Sword of Gryffindor Harry Potter and the Sword of Gryffindor
Chapter Nine: Meow!

Disclamer: Not mine, I own nothing. I’m not making any money
WARNING: Harsh Language, adult themes, sexual situations (i.e. smut), bad spelling and grammar.

Author’s Notes: This story is a broad farce with over the top humor (a good deal of it is crude and sexual) and OOC actions (that’s Out Of Character if you don’t know). Also, this is my first smut-ish fic. If you don’t like sex and sex-based humor, do NOT read this!

Chapter Nine Summary: Hermione proves that Crookshanks isn’t the only one with claws!




The trio landed in the Hospital Ward of Hogwarts, and Hermione instantly called for Madam Pomfrey. The matron came bolting out of her office, and upon seeing Ron and Harry’s condition, demanded to know what happened.

“We were attacked by Death Eaters,” Hermione practically shouted out in panic. “Ron was blown into a wall after being hit with two Cruciatus Curses. I think he may have a concussion.”

Pomfrey waved her wand at Harry and Ron, using a Mobilicorpus Charm to float the two toward a pair of hospital beds. Harry groaned pitifully; even though Pomfrey’s charm was very gentle, it still jostled him a bit which just seemed to aggravate his numerous bruises, especially the battered ‘Harry, Jr.’ and his baggage and his mangled finger.

After her two patients came to rest on their respective beds, Pomfrey waved her wand over Ron’s body. “You’re right, Miss Granger. He has suffered a concussion,” the nurse announced.

Ron’s eyes fluttered open and he muttered softly “All that hair… she could have knitted some sweaters of something…”

Harry cringed at the mental image of Bellatrix in her nakedness. Hermione looked as if she was going to be physically ill.

“Don’t worry dear,” Pomfrey said to Hermione after she noticed the younger witch’s discomfort from Ron’s statement. “It’s just the concussion talking. I’m sure it means nothing.”

Pomfrey continued to flourish her wand over Ron’s body while performing a number of spells as she continued to try and comfort Hermione. “You should’ve heard the unbelievable things Mr. Potter mumbled in his sleep the last time he was here: a giant black dog that was actually an escaped murderer, a diary that would talk to him, an adventure where he used Polyjuice to sneak into the Slytherin Common Room…”

“I didn’t know I talked in my sleep,” Harry admitted in a hushed tone to Hermione as Pomfrey continued to list his deeds, adventures, and misdeeds.

“I guess it’s a good thing that I find that out now,” Hermione breathed into his ear. “Better now than to find out later, when we’re sleeping together.”

Harry coughed and jerked about slightly on the bed at Hermione’s declaration. She clearly announced that she and Harry were going to sleep together! This, added to the taunt she used earlier against Bellatrix, told Harry that their relationship was going to advance, very soon. Of course, Harry hadn’t attempted to cough and jerk in celebration; he had tried to jump up and shout, “I’m getting lucky!” but due to his various injuries, all Harry could manage was to cough and jerk about. Though in his defense, it was a rather jubilant cough. Pomfrey turned around and began to perform several diagnostic charms on Harry after she was finished with Ron.

“Hmm….a number of bruises,” the healer stated aloud and froze for a moment over ‘Harry, Jr.’ and his luggage. “Ooooh. Ouch; I bet that smarts.”

Harry nodded his head silently and Hermione let out a pitiful whimper in sympathy. Pomfrey patted Harry on the shoulder and said in a comforting tone, “Don’t worry, son, it will be up in no time. Err… slip of the tongue, sorry about that.”

After informing a grateful Harry that no lasting damage was done to the “Great House of Potter’s Family Jewels,” she added, “But you can’t go playing with it for a while. You had some considerable damage done.”

Before Harry could inquire as to how long ‘Harry, Jr.’ was out of commission, Hermione did it for him. “How long until I can… um…” the poor girl turned such a vibrant shade of red that anyone could tell that she was completely embarrassed. She hemmed and hawed a bit while Pomfrey eyed Hermione suspiciously before concluding weakly “Err… that is, how long until Harry can uh, use it?”

“He’ll have to take a dose of ‘Bruise-Be-Gone’ first,” Pomfrey informed as she stared at Hermione’s still red eye. “Mr. Potter will be … ready in a few hours.”

The healer leaned toward Hermione and placed her wand in front of the younger witch’s puffy eye. “Now, why don’t you let me fix your eye?”

“Um… it’s not a Conjunctivitis Curse, ma’am,” admitted Hermione. “I don’t think the counter spell will work properly.”

“Miss. Granger, this school is filled with teenagers, all with overactive hormones, who like to experiment…I know exactly what this is,” Pomfrey stated. “And many young men have bad aim like Mr. Potter, here. Amatorius/ Abdo!”/

With a pop, the redness and puffiness in and around Hermione’s eye disappeared. Pomfrey concluded “I’ve had to use that spell more times than I care to count. I just wish you girls would learn to turn your face away in time.” The healer then refocused her attention on Harry and his damaged digit. “Well, the bones will have to come out of that I’m afraid.”

“No, not Skele-Grow again,” complained Harry.

“Oh, hush,” Pomfrey ordered. “You had your whole arm re-grown a few years back. One finger will be nothing compared to that.” Pomfrey cast the spell and Harry’s finger deflated like a balloon as the bones disappeared. Hermione let out a pathetic whimper when she saw Harry’s finger dangle like a strip of flesh-colored rubber hanging from his hand.

“Ms Granger, I need you to fetch some of my potions for me,” ordered the matron. “First, Mr. Potter will need Bruise-be-Gone; it’s a black and blue bottle, and of course the Skele-Grow; I believe you’ll remember what that looks like. I will also need Caruthers’s Concussion Concoction for Mr. Weasley.” Biting her lip, Hermione nodded and dashed off to the Hospital Ward office.

The moment that Hermione disappeared into the office, the doors leading from the hallway into the Hospital Ward flew open and a very nervous looking Tonks barged in, followed by an angry looking Professor McGonagall. “Nymphadora, I demand to know what’s going on! You come barreling out of the Floo in my office and without a word come running down-“

The Headmistress stopped her tirade of Tonks when she saw two of her students in bed. Harry waved at the two witches. Of course he did this with his bad hand which just caused his bone-less finger to flap this way and that.

“WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?” screeched McGonagall.

“We were attacked,” Hermione answered simply as she stepped out of the office with her arms full of potion bottles and walked past McGonagall and Tonks.

“I got a fire-call from one of my supervisors. He told me that a number of Death Eaters attacked Godric’s Hollow,” explained Tonks. “I apparated there as fast as I could, but it was all over when I got there. There were about three dozen unconscious Death Eaters plus my evil bitch of an aunt. She was unconscious as well, but she was foaming at the mouth. Oddly enough, she had the happiest smile I’ve ever seen on a person.”

“I’ll give this one to Mr. Weasley,” Pomfrey said to Hermione and she took one of the three bottles. “Give a dose of each of those two to Mr. Potter.”

“But what made you come here and why are those two hurt…?” McGonagall stopped herself while indicating Ron and Harry.

“I knew that these three were going to Godric’s Hollow,” Tonks continued. “When I got there, I feared the worst when I couldn’t find them. But one of the witnesses said that they saw three teenagers Portkey away. So I figured they’d head here.”

“One of the Death Eaters escaped as well,” Hermione announced as she poured some of the foul tasting potion down Harry’s throat. “Well, mostly escaped; he splinched himself trying to get away.”

“That would explain the spare leg we found,” concluded Tonks. “But what it doesn’t explain is how we can’t seem to revive the Death Eaters. Except for my vicious Aunt, they all show the symptoms of being stunned. But when we tried a rennervate, nothing happened.”

“Oh that,” stated Hermione who was doing her best to ignore the gagging sounds coming from Harry who was fighting desperately not to throw up the god-awful potions. “You’ll have to hit them with a few dozen Rennervate Charms. Harry… um… well we discovered that Harry can be fairly powerful when he puts his mind to it.”

“Poppy, what’s your diagnosis?” asked McGonagall.

“Potter is fairly beaten up, including a severely broken finger and some deep bruising, but it’s nothing a good night’s rest and a potion or two won’t fix. Weasley, however, has one hell of a concussion. I want to keep him here overnight for observation.”

“Does that mean Harry can leave?” asked Hermione.

“I don’t see why not,” replied Pomfrey. “It’s just a couple of bruises and a finger that needs the bones re-grown. He’s suffered worse.”

“I’ll go back and tell our healers how to awaken the thugs,” Tonks said as she started to walk out of the ward. “I mean we can’t just chuck them into Azkaban if they’re permanently stunned.”

As gently as she could, Hermione helped her bruised and battered boyfriend to his feet.

“Don’t worry about Mr. Weasley, I’ll take good care of him,” Pomfrey informed the couple as they made their way slowly out of the Ward. “And remember, no funny business for the next few hours.”

“That means no experimentation with Cheering Charms,” added McGonagall. Harry groaned as the Headmistress gave him another one of her disturbing saucy smiles.

After what seemed like an eternity of jostling ‘Harry, Jr.’s baggage by walking up various stairs, the couple finally made it back to the Gryffindor Common Room. Harry groaned once more as he noticed that Hermione was steering him toward the stairs that led to his dorm room. At that point, those stairs weren’t just another set of stairs that Harry had to climb. To him it was an evil torture device that was designed solely for the purpose to cause even more pain to his battered bits.

“Can’t I just stay here and sleep on the couch?” whined Harry.

“No,” Hermione stated firmly. “You’ll rest better in your own bed.”

“Bu-bu-bu but the stairs…. They hurt,” complained Harry.

“Just a few more and I promise you can lie down.”

Hermione led Harry up the thirteen steps with each one causing Harry to wince. When the couple walked into Harry’s dorm room, he was nearly doubled over in pain due to his bruised bits. That and the fact that the Skele-Grow had just started to kick in. It felt as if dozens of needles were being shoved through his damaged hand.

“Just lay down,” Hermione said as she helped Harry lower himself on his bed. “I’ll get some food. We haven’t eaten since breakfast.”

The brunette witch stood up and called out “Dobby!” An instant later, the neurotic house-elf appeared with a crack.

“Yes, Miss Harry Potter’s Hermy, you called for Dobby?” he asked nervously.

“Yes, I did Dobby. Harry and I need food. Would you please go get something for us to eat?” Hermione asked politely.

“Dobby would love to!” the little creature squealed.

“But, Harry’s going on a special diet,” added Hermione.

“I am?” asked Harry. This was a new revelation for him, leaving him more than a little surprised. He was curious as to why Hermione would make him go on a “special diet” without even talking to him about it.

“Yes, you are,” Hermione replied to Harry. But before he could ask why, she turned back to Dobby. “We’ll need some protein. Perhaps a simple steak, but he’s going to need vegetables. This is the most important part though, no eggs or dairy.”

“But I like dairy,” complained Harry. He didn’t know what was on the diet she had concocted for him, but he was hurting from the beating and grumpy from the ride that made a mockery of his parents. The last thing he wanted to do was not eat the things he liked. He thought of a way to convince Hermione into allowing him some cheese. Indicating his limp digit, Harry argued “And I probably need calcium to help my bones grow.