Happy Birthday to Me_(1)

My name is Jeff and today is my 14th birthday. I should be excited about today being my birthday, but since I have no friends and no special plans for today, I’m sure today is going to suck.

Normally, my dad would take me to a Cubs game, or to Magic waters waterpark for my birthday. But after my mom kicked him out 2 years ago for being a raging alcoholic, he’s stopped seeing me altogether.

Since then, my mom has moved on and was remarried last summer. She married a black guy named Lewis. He’s pretty cool, I guess. He doesn’t give me any shit and he’s always buying me stuff. In fact, I bought me a brand new cell phone for my birthday.

But his 17-year old daughter Kesha is the step-sister from hell. It’s bad enough when the other kids at school tease me for being a nerd, but Kesha tends to take it even further. Especially, when her hot friends are around. Like the time she and a few of her hot friends were in the backyard laying by the pool, while I sat on a lounge chair pretending to be playing on my phone. But I was secretly checking out their hot bodies, when Kesha blurted out “Look you guys, my perverted ass step-brother has a boner. The sick fuck was probably checking me out” Causing all of them to laugh at me, as I ran up to my room.

I wish I was older, so I could be strong enough to put her in her place. But with me being 5′ 7″, 120 lbs. Compared to her being 5′ 4″, 155 lbs, with huge 38-c cups and a huge backside, I would be no match for her.

But that wasn’t the worst part. The reason why Lewis and my mom both gave me my birthday presents last night, is because they were headed to my uncle’s cabin for the weekend. Leaving me home alone on my birthday weekend with the step-sister from hell.

*

I was playing Call of duty on my PS4 when I cracked my bedroom window to let some air in. Then about 5 minutes later I smelled something weird coming through the window. When I went to the window to see what the smell was, I saw Kesha and her best friend Tanya smoking a joint. I knew that she had sworn to her father that she had stopped smoking, after getting suspended from school last month, for being caught with weed in her school locker.

I figured I could snap a few pics of her smoking again, which would give me all the leverage I needed to blackmail her, but more importantly, get her off my fucking back.

So I took a few pics and a video of her hitting the joint before I headed downstairs to make my demands.

I was really nervous, but after taking a few deep breathes, I stepped out onto the patio, full of confidence, knowing that I had her right where I wanted her.

Her best friend Tanya saw me first. She was nudging Kesha on the shoulder, while she was looking down at the joint she was rolling. “Kesha, your step-brother can see you”

Kesha didn’t even bother to stop rolling her joint when she said: “What the fuck are you looking at, you fucking pervert?”

I knew I had to stand my ground. So with my phone in hand, I walked towards Kesha and said “I’m sure your dad would just love to see my video of you smoking pot again.

I was feeling quite confident that this would shake her to her core, knowing that I’d outsmarted her.

But Kesha was unfazed by it all. Instead, she continued licking her joint and twisting the ends, before passing it to Tanya. Then she walked up to me and snatched my phone from my hand and throwing it up against the wall, causing it to break into pieces. Then she grabbed me by the neck and said “Fuck you and your video” Right before she kneed me in the nuts.

I dropped like a sack of potatoes. As I picked myself up from the ground, I slowly walked back inside the house. I was in a lot of pain, but I refused to give them the satisfaction of seeing me cry.

I sat in my bedroom for the next few hours, thinking back on my failed plan. “Why didn’t I make a backup copy of the fucking video?” I said to myself, as I paced back and forth in my bedroom.

*

It was now dinner time and I could smell the aroma of Kesha’s fried chicken.