Halloween Costume Malfunction

“No. I’m not wearing this.”

Louise had her ear leaned up against her brother’s door, hearing his muffled voice through the wood. “Let me see,” she called back through.

“There’s no way I’m going to a party like this. Just forget it.”

“It’s not that bad. Open up and let me see.”

Frustrated, Louise pressed her skull into the wood, considering popping the lock briefly, and even more briefly, considering letting her brother off the hook. A few seconds later, the knob clicked.

Louise stepped into his room, setting herself not to react to his costume. Fortunately, Carter’s head was turned away just long enough that he didn’t see her fail.

“There’s just no way,” Carter said. He turned toward his sister, holding his arms out to let her see.

The costume was a little bit of faux-leather, forming a loincloth, and a whole lot of bare skin. The loincloth had three triangles in the front, overlapping at the waist but tapering and splitting apart as they went down for about six inches, with the middle one being a little bigger. In the back was one larger triangle over his butt, with a small, speedo-sized covering underneath.

Louise reset her face back to stony reassurance, hopefully before he saw it. “You look great, Tarzan. Why are you complaining? Every girl in there is going to be checking you out.”

“I don’t want everyone to check me out. Christ.”

“I’m dressed the same way you are,” Louise said, spinning to show her costume. It was a Jane costume that matched his Tarzan; faux-leather one-piece that went over one shoulder and form-fit down into a mini-dress.

“Yours covers more than mine. A lot more. You could make ten of my costumes out of your costume.”

“You’re Tarzan. Tarzan’s not supposed to wear a bunch of stuff, he’s a jungle man.”

“I don’t want to go to a party with every girl I know dressed as a jungle man. Everyone’s going to think I’m a pervert. I want to wear a normal costume.”

“What you want is to hide in the corner all night and only talk to two people. And no one’s going to think you’re a pervert; your costume matches mine.”

“Oh, sure, yeah, going to the Halloween party with my sister in these. Nothing pervie about that.”

She scoffed at his implication. “No one’s going to think that. It’s not like we’re going to tell them about our little game after all…” she said, voice trailing off mischievously.

Carter swung around to face his sister. “Don’t you dare!”

She laughed. “I wouldn’t! God, you’re easy. Of course I’m not going to tell anyone why I got to pick your costume.”

Carter kicked the side of his bed. “Great. They’ll think I picked it myself.”

“We’ll just say you lost a bet, we don’t have to give details. All you have to do is own it. The boys will laugh but can’t really say anything because you look great. The girls will giggle nervously but they’ll keep looking. It’s win-win. Now come on.”

Carter sighed. “You’ll tell everyone you put me up to this?”

“Yes! You lost a bet, so I got to pick your costume, just like it really happened, without the fun details of the bet.” Louise smiled as her brother cringed. “Do you want me to claim my own costume, or can I tell them you picked it for me in revenge?”

“Whatever. Let’s just go.”

“Really? You’ll go?”

“Yes. Let’s go before I change my mind.”




Louise crept out of the hallway, glancing around the front of the house. “It’s clear. They’re in the bed room,” she told her brother. Hunched over, he shuffled quickly toward the door. “We’re going!” Louise yelled. There was a distant response which neither stopped to try to make out. Carter pulled the front door open and they both hopped through, nearly slamming it behind them.

The front porch was a sudden black, and they had to wait a few seconds for their eyes to adjust. Louise laughed. “You’d think we were about to go rob someone.”

“I don’t want them to see our costumes. Do you?” Carter asked, peering out onto the street in front of their house.

“Well, no. Really, though, it shouldn’t be that big of a deal. These are no skimpier than your average swimsuit.”

“Speak for yourself,” Carter said, twisting at his loincloth to adjust it. Slowly, he stepped forward from their porch, checking both directions for people. Trick-or-treaters and parents were grouped about the street, but none immediately in front of them. He started walking briskly down the sidewalk.

Louise rushed to keep up. “It’s not too uncomfortable, is it? I wasn’t sure what size to get you.” She didn’t want to point out now that it looked a little small on him. “Is it all right? It’s not squeezing your, uh…” He turned his head and gave her an annoyed look. It only spurred her on. “Is it squeezing your dick too tight?”

He scowled and looked forward, but his steps had a hitch. “I think you’ve given enough attention to my dick this week, Louise.”

“Don’t be mad at me! This was your doing. You’re the one who was making fun of me, taunting me, making claims. The whole bet was your idea.”

“You’re the one who pulled my towel off.”

“You were egging me on like you always do. I don’t care about your dick. I’ve seen in before, lots of times. I wasn’t going to let you try and scare me with it. You’re the one who bet I couldn’t give you a boner and tried to act like I was gross if I didn’t. You’re just mad because you lost at your own little game.”

“And you’ve been bringing it up constantly ever since.”

“Only because it bothered you so much. What does it matter? You act like you getting a boner was this horrible thing. It doesn’t make you some kind of incest pervert.”

“I never said-“

Before Carter could finish, a pack of kids came right up the sidewalk at them. He stepped to the side as they passed, looking away and at the ground. After checking around a few seconds, they started walking again in silence, passing several houses and another group.

“I like Halloween,” Louise said, breaking the silence on the street.

“It used to scare you. Remember that house with the mannequins?”

“Yeah, but now I’m older. I like the costumes. It’s fun to dress up.”

“You’re such a girl.”

“But I kind of like the tone of Halloween now, too. Now that I’m older, the creepiness and death is kind of fun. Don’t they usually have a fog machine and fake cemetery at this party?”

“Yeah. I don’t know. Don’t you think it’s kind of tacky?”

“Oh, you’re just trying to get out of it.”

“No, I mean, it’s been like three weeks since Stacy Hughes’ funeral. And here’s everyone laughing about tombstones.”

Louise nodded. “Yeah, that is kind of weird. It’s like she’s already forgotten. No one hardly talks about her anymore.”

“I saw Kyle Franklin doing donuts in the parking lot at school the other day, as if his girlfriend hadn’t just been killed in a car crash.”

“Yeah,” Louise said, shaking her head. “Is he going to be there tonight?”

“Better not,” Carter answered.

“Do you think Stacy would have come to this?”

“I don’t know.”

They let another group of trick-or-treaters pass. Carter felt the disapproving gaze of one of the mothers as she walked by. He crossed his arms over his chest and kept walking.

“Maybe that’s why I like Halloween now,” Louise said. “Silly as it is, people are actually giving some attention to death, instead of just ignoring it.”

“Who wants to think about death all the time? What good is that?”

“Reminds us to enjoy life, I guess. To take a chance sometimes and be something we’re not. Like a jungle man.”

“Is that why you picked this for me? To tell me to take more risks?”

“No, I picked that because you were going to make me wear something even more embarrassing if I lost. Remember that leotard with boobs on it to make you look naked?”

“I wasn’t going to make you wear that.”

“Yes, you were.”

“Well, I wasn’t going to make you go to a party in it.”

“Then what was it for? Just hanging around with you?”

“No. I’m not trying to see my sister naked all the time. Nothing like that night is ever going to happen again.”

“Carter, stop freaking out. It’s not a crime that you got a boner. It was just a passing moment. Given the chance, I guarantee you that most guys would check out their sister. Doesn’t make them all perverts.”

“That’s not what happened. There’s nothing that you have that turns me on.” Seeing another group coming, Carter stopped, stepping to the side, trying to hide behind a tree without looking like he was hiding. His sister stepped next to him, facing him. Feeling her look, he got uneasy. He moved his hands but found only bare chest, twisted his hips but couldn’t change the feel of the loincloth. “God, why didn’t we just drive?”

“It’s just down the street, like half a mile away,” Louise said dismissively. “See, there’s Mindy’s house; I’ve walked up this far since I was six. Come on. It’s two more houses down. Look, I can see your friend Dan going in now.”

Carter watched Dan walk up to the house, greeted by Rob at the door. He pictured all his friends and everyone else inside just staring at him as he walked in. He twisted his hips more, grabbing the waist of his costume and jerking about with sudden violence. “God! Forget it. I’m not going in there in this thing. I’m not. It’s too small, you can see the side of my ass, and I can’t even sit down or the thing will either split in two or smash my balls up into my stomach. Even if I stand still the whole time, my dick’s probably going to come poking out at any second.”

“It’s not that bad.”

“The hell it’s not. I’m going home.”

“Hold on. Let me look at it a second.” Louise crouched down, grabbing on to the flaps of the loincloth, partly to lift them out of the way, partly to keep Carter from walking off.

“No! Leave it alone.”

“Give me a second. Stop being such a whiny baby.” She ducked her head to peek under the front, brushing against his leg.

Carter skittered, trying to not leave the modest shelter of the tree, checking around to see if any people were noticing them. “Would you just leave my dick alone? God.”

“Get over yourself, Carter. I’m trying to help you.” Grasping the waist of his costume tightly in one hand, she stuck a finger along the edge of the underpiece, testing it. Scowling, he stopped struggling, just shaking his head at his sister’s invasiveness. “You’re not going to come popping out. It’s not that tight, Carter.”

“The hell it’s not. It’s been squeezing my balls the whole walk over. And there’s like a stitch poking me.”

Louise groaned. “Hold still. Let me look.” With barely any light, she squinted and peered, just able to make out the line of stitching that went across his underpiece about an inch down from the waist, right across his penis. She had to admit, it was bad design and cheaply made, though she wouldn’t say so out loud.

She felt along the stitch, making Carter squirm again. “Keep still. I’ll grab you by the balls if I have to.” Finally having gained his very reluctant cooperation, she picked at the edge, finding the end of the plastic thread that was sticking out. It poked into Carter, making him squirm. She tugged the flaps to get him to hold still. Carefully, she picked and twisted at the plastic, trying to get it to at least bend away from him, but even after spinning around, it seemed determined to angle to the inside. Finally, after about the fourth twist, the plastic thread simply broke off at the end.

“There,” she said, explaining what she’d done. “It should also make it a little less tight.”

“And a lot more revealing,” Carter said.

“You can’t see anything behind the flaps.”

“In the light inside, they might. And if that thread’s gone, what if it just comes apart? It feels a lot looser.”

“It’s not going to fall apart. It’s fine, I promise,” Louise said, standing back up. “Let’s just go in.”

“I’m not going in like this. You can go without me. I don’t care.”

“I’m not going without you. Come on,” She said, pushing at his shoulders.

He flipped his arm up, breaking her push. He turned toward her, and they stared each other down. “Louise, I am not going. End of story.”

“Why not?”

“This costume looks ridiculous-“

“It looks great on you.”

“-And, it’s uncomfortable and still way too tight.” They glared at each other.

“Okay, you know what, Carter?” In one flurry of motion, she reached for her brother’s costume, so quick that Carter barely had time to jump at the sudden pressure on his balls. In one sudden movement, Louise yanked at part covering her brother’s genitals. With a sharp jerk and a snap, her hand came clear.

“Louise!” Carter said, jumping back.

“There. No you have all the room you need, Carter!” Louise said, shaking her fist at him still holding some piece of faux leather. She turned and heaved the piece between two houses with all her might. It flew toward a bush and fence, vanishing into darkness.

“What the hell?” Carter said. Instinctively, both hands flew to his crotch underneath the flaps to cover and protect. To his shock, all they found there was free skin.

“So are you happy now? Is that better?” She asked sarcastically. She waved her arms around as she spoke. Instead of responding, he just hunched over in shocked silence. “Fine. Let’s go home.”

“Louise. You just tore my costume in half.”

“It’s…fine,” she answered. She remembered how the piece felt as she threw it, and it started dawning on her what she’d done.

“It’s not fine. I mean…” He stuttered, gesturing with his hands, then finally just stood up and put his arms out, letting her see.

“Oh,” Louise said quietly, feeling all the blood drain from her. Even from a higher angle a few feet away, looking down at those three triangular flaps in the low light under a tree, she could clearly see most of the head of her brother’s penis hanging off him. “Oops.”

“It’s not enough that you made me wear this thing, now you ripped most of it off. So I’m basically naked out here.”

“Sorry,” Louise said weakly.

“Sorry?” Carter glanced around, ducking as much behind the tree as he could. “Louise, what am I going to do? How am I supposed to get home like this?”

“It’s dark…”

“It’s not that dark. Am I supposed to just walk down the sidewalk floppin’ around? There’s half a mile of pavement and a hundred kids and parents between here and our house and every one of them would see my dick.”

“I’m sorry! Can’t you just…cover up?”

Carter put his hands over himself, trying various approaches – one-handed, two-handed, over and under the flaps. “Yeah, that looks great. I’ll just shuffle home past all the little kids basically naked with my hands over my dick. Shit.”

A car came to a stop at the curb across the street and a house down. Two more people he recognized from school got out of the car, heading toward the party. He cowered as much in the darkness of the tree trunk as he could.

“Okay, here.” Louise fiddled with something on herself, taking a high step with each leg behind Carter’s back as he peered at the other teenagers walking across the street. She thrust something around his side. “Use these.”

“What is it?” Carter took the item, seeing leopard-print. He twisted the strange fabric in his hand before finally having to hold it into the moonlight to see. “I’m not wearing your panties, Louise.”

“Just to get home, Carter. My skirt is a little longer and I don’t have anything hanging down to be seen.”

“No! There’s no way I’m wearing my sister’s panties! It’s disgusting.”

“Oh, get over it, Carter. Alright, you think I’m gross, I get it. Stop being an asshole just because you feel guilty that for one minute you kind of wanted to fuck your sister.”

“I did not-” He cut himself off, looking back over his shoulder to make sure no one was noticing them. “You know what, Louise? Fuck you.” Balling her panties in one hand, he threw them as hard as he could into the darkness. “How’s that?”

“That’s great, Carter. Now what are we going to do?”

“I guess I’ll walk home naked, Louise. What else can I do?”

Taking a quick look around, Carter started back down the street. Louise stood incredulous, shaking her head at her brother. When it was clear he meant it, she jogged the few yards to catch up. “Carter!” she called between her teeth.

He ignored her, stomping forward. “You can’t just walk home like that. Stop,” she continued.

“What else can I do? I can’t just stand out here all night.”

“Carter,” she said, her tone more insistent. Grabbing at his arm, she gestured down the street. A group of trick-or-treaters was four houses down, coming from the front door and heading to the sidewalk fast.

Carter froze, his angry gusto spent. “Shit.” He false-started, looking around. “I guess back to that tree-”

As he turned back around, a car was pulling up in front of the house next to where they’d been hiding. It was too close for comfort.