Going Home

This is a story of fiction, the author makes no recommendations and does not condone, or condemn, any actions taken by the characters in this story. The characters are completely fictional and any similarities to any person or persons, living or dead, real or fictional, are completely coincidental. The Author takes no responsibility for any actions or inactions taken by any person or persons who read this fictional portrayal – so read at your own risk! This is an original piece of fiction written by the author who goes by the pen name Magusfang, any other person who wishes to post this story, or download it, may do so as long as they retain this paragraph.


Going Home: Stepping From The Mist


Alex slowly, ever so slowly, crawled forward; he couldn’t see his target yet, but he could hear him and smell the cigarette smoke. He knew that whoever this man was, he was alone and he was in Alex’s way; it would take too long to circle around and cross the small river up stream, so this man had to die. He knew that this was an innocent, a noncombatant, but he had no choice; he only had eighteen more hours to reach his target and he couldn’t wait this man out any longer. He continued to move, the man unaware of his presence and the jungle uncaring that he was here; Alex had spent much of his adult life in jungles just like this and he understood them, knew what would upset the creatures around him and knew how to become part of his environment.

He belonged in this primitive place, he was as at home here as he was in his small cabin in the states; it didn’t happen often to white men but it happened to him, the jungle and the wild creatures that called this dark foreboding place home, had accepted him as one of their own. It hadn’t always been this way, there was a time when he was a normal man, a time when he had a home, and a family, and even a name – but no longer. He no longer belonged in the company of his species, no longer belonged with the civilized, no longer belonged with the living; he was a shade, a ghost trapped between life and death and he hated the living as much as he hated the dead that visited him every night.

Alex, and that wasn’t even his real name, not the name his mother had given him; he had a name once but he had forgotten it, well not forgotten but left it behind. That name was a part of his past life, a life he had walked away from because it rejected what he had become; when he left that life behind he left behind all the things that it contained: his name, his friends, and his family. Of all the things lost to him, the only thing he missed was his family; his mother and sisters that he had not written, called, spoken to, or seen in nearly a decade – it was hard to see their faces now, behind the fog of time.

Alex froze, stopping his snail like movements when he saw the bluish grey smoke rise above the small bush ahead of him; whoever this intruder into his world was, the fact that he was smoking proved he didn’t belong here and that would ensure his death. Alex felt no sympathy for the man, no empathy, only remorse for what this man’s death would do to him; this man shouldn’t have come here and if Alex didn’t end his life, some other creature of the jungle would. This primordial world didn’t treat it’s visitors with hospitality, didn’t welcome guests, and here the price of trespassing was death. Alex saw the man stand and use his nearly spent cigarette to light the next one he would smoke, he knew instinctively it was time; Alex stood and fired two quick rounds from his suppressed weapon, the only sound was the quiet metallic cough, as the two rounds left the muzzle of his weapon, and the two wet smacks that were so close together as to almost be the same sound, as the rounds struck the man’s head.

Whoever this had been, he died quickly, so quickly in fact that it took a moment for his body to catch up and let his corpse fall softly to the rotting jungle floor; Alex walked over and grabbed the man, flipping him over to see who he had been, after all it was only polite to see the face of the newest member of the legion of dead that visited him in his sleep. Alex sighed when the human shaped lump of meat rolled over and he saw what was left of the thing’s face, a ragged gaping and bloody hole bordered by the man’s lower teeth, eyebrows, and ears – Alex really hated the faceless ones! He grabbed the already decaying refuse and pulled it deeper into the bush, rolling it under a large downed tree and covering it with the moss and sparse grass that grew in this dark wet place. He didn’t worry about it being found, the jungle wasted nothing and meat didn’t stay in the forest’s larder for very long; by this time tomorrow there would be little left but slick and shiny bones that would quickly sink into decaying morass that served as the ground in this depressing world. Alex sighed and turned, walking back to where it had fallen, stopping for a moment and watching the small scurrying creatures of this place already cleaning up the blood, bone, flesh, and brain tissue that had been deposited on the rotting leaves; they would clean this stain away like an army of primordial maids.

Alex bent over and pulled the things kit and weapon from the soggy mass of leaves and turned to return to where he had dropped his own kit; it was less than fifty yards away and the trip here had taken nearly two hours – the trip back would be much quicker and infinitely less taxing on his aching body and raw nerves. Alex dropped the ancient rifle and ragged pack next to his own nylon and leather kit, a custom job he had made himself and designed specifically for this mission; it would not return home with him, like most of the gear he carried it would be destroyed before he began his return trip. But right now he needed to deal with the dead thing’s small ragged pack; Alex brushed the rotting leaves away from the foul smelling spongy material that passed for dirt here and grabbed his small shovel, digging a three-foot deep hole. He would have to bury the pack because even the jungle couldn’t recycle the metal, glass, and plastic that the artifacts from the world of civilized men were made of. Alex knew he was being sentimental and he should have simply dumped the pack and rusty weapon in the hole and bury it, but he couldn’t help himself; the thing under the fallen tree had been a man once and someone should at least witness it’s passing, it had died and there wasn’t even the sound of a gunshot to herald it’s journey to whatever god these people worshipped. Alex didn’t know if there was a heaven or hell and didn’t really care; but he knew there was alive and there was dead and there was whatever he was. The last shred of humanity in his tortured soul still thought there should be something to mark a human’s passing from the living to the dead and since Alex was the only one here who cared, the job fell to him.

Alex sighed as he snapped the stock off the old rifle and dumped the ruined parts into the hole, not even bothering to unload it; next he opened the pack and dumped it’s contents onto the oily jungle floor and started rifling through the meager contents, tossing them one by one into the hole. There was not much here to mark a life, but he wasn’t done yet; he gave the ratty canvas pack one more look and pulled out a water stained letter. He sighed, knowing he would have to read it, as he tossed the empty pack into the hole with the rest of the meager debris that was the sole remainder of a life and turned his attention to the wrinkled and dirty piece of paper. He froze when he saw the small photograph fall to the jungle floor as he unfolded the ragged dog-eared pages; Alex stared at the small photograph in horror as it landed upright and he saw the happy smiling face and warm brown eyes of a dark skinned little girl staring back at him; his mind was so focused on the pretty little child that he barely noticed the pretty woman kneeling next to her, a proud and happy smile on her face as her dark eyes watched her daughter with love and amusement. Alex’s trembling hand reached down on it’s own and gently grabbed the faded creased photograph and the faces burned themselves into his mind, the faces that would haunt his tortured dreams for more nights then he cared to speculate on, he slowly folded it back into the unread pages of the letter from where it had lay hidden like some terrible trap; Alex tucked the letter containing the terrible picture into the pocket of his shirt and buttoned it closed. He wouldn’t, couldn’t, read the letter now, the picture was almost more than his ravaged psyche could endure; no he would read the letter someday, but not today.

Alex quickly strapped his kit to his back as tears fell unnoticed to the jungle floor, the very jungle floor that now held the evidence of his latest crime. Alex resumed the long walk to the target that had brought him to this terrible place as he contemplated another terrible path, the one he had walked to become the monster he now was. Such a long and horrible trail that had started on a bright and sunny day; he remembered that day as if it just happened, instead of over a decade ago…

He walked out of the yard bosses office, Alex had been working as a lumberjack for over a month and he had enough; enough of the oppressive heat that threatened to boil his brain in his skull, enough of the swarms of mosquitoes that threatened to drain him of blood, enough of the sticky pine pitch that seemed to get everywhere and never washed off, enough of the chainsaw that made him always smell of gasoline and made his arms ache for hours after the long day ended, he had enough! Alex had just quit and tomorrow he would drive into the city and to the recruiter’s office, he didn’t care what branch of the military he joined or what his job would be – anything had to be better than this. He didn’t tell his mother or sisters what he had done, they would freak and cry, try to talk him out of it; but his mind was made up and the next morning he left as usual but instead of driving into the woods, he drove to the city. By lunch he was officially signed up and within a week he would be riding a bus to Parris Island and twelve weeks later he would be a United States Marine; he wasn’t worried about boot camp, he was a child of the woods and had been hunting since he could fire a rifle, his skill with a fire arm rivaled the legends of Bridger and Boone, working as a lumberjack had left him strong and lean, and he was naturally disciplined and able to endure nearly anything.

No, he had only one hurdle that worried him, he still had to tell his mother and sisters, he wasn’t worried about his younger sister Beth, she would just cry and tell him how much she would miss him. No, it was his older sister Samantha, Sam would team up with his mother and scream at him; tell him he couldn’t do this, couldn’t abandon the family. When the guilt trip didn’t work, they would forbid him to go and when that didn’t work they would threaten him with something equally ineffective. No, he was eighteen and he was signed up, there was nothing to be done about it now even if he wanted to. Sometime in the early afternoon he stood at the front door, knowing the three women who had directed his entire life, who had been the core of his existence, were inside and he was afraid to walk through that door, afraid to enter the house that had been his shelter, his refuge all his life. Alex sighed and walked through the door and Beth gave a little surprised shriek as she sat in the living room of the small house and folded laundry, “Alex, what are you doing home so early…are you hurt?”

“No, I’m fine.” Alex replied with a small nervous smile, “Is Mom in the kitchen?”

“Yeah, her and Sam both.” Beth replied slowly, “Alex, what’s going on?”

Alex started down the small hall that opened into the combination kitchen and dining area, then stopped and looked at Beth, “You might as well come with me, no sense in not telling everyone at once.”

“Alex, you’re scaring me…” Beth replied as she stood and took her older brother’s hand, he had been her father figure and she loved him dearly; she was closest to Alex and never even thought of a life without him. They walked into the kitchen, Beth’s small hand in his and stopped when his older sister saw him.

“Alex?” Sam replied, surprised to see him so early in the day, “What are you doing here?”

“I have some news and you’re not going to like it, so just let me get it out before the screaming starts.” Alex replied and instantly received a scowl from his older sister and tears from Beth, his mother said nothing and just gave him a worried look.

“You got fired, didn’t you?” Sam interjected angrily.

“No, I quite yesterday.” Alex replied and almost smiled at her shocked expression, “This morning I drove into the city and signed up with the Marines.”

“What? What kinda fucking joke is this, because it’s not funny Alex.” Sam growled as Beth looked at him in horror.

“Alex…we need you here.” His mother replied quietly, ignoring Sam’s outburst.

“No, you need the money.” Alex replied, “And I’ll make more money in the military. I already have you and Beth signed up as my dependents, and once I’m out of training, you can come join me.”

“Ok.” His mother replied as both he and Sam looked at her, stunned into silence; in fact the only thing he heard was Beth’s quiet sobs as she held to him tightly.

“Ok?” Sam asked as she finally found her voice.

“Sam, Alex is a grown man, and he’s decided it’s time for him to leave and make his way in the world.” Their mother replied sadly, “Alex, I would appreciate any money you can send us, but you made this decision alone, so you leave here alone and no one will be joining you.”

“When do you have to go?” Beth asked in a quiet scared voice.

Alex looked down and knew the hardest part of this whole thing would be saying goodbye to Beth, he had basically raised her; he was the one who bathed her and fed her, changed her diaper, he was the one who sat up with her when she was sick, helped her with her homework when he was bone tired – Beth was just as much his daughter as she was his mother’s, “In a week.”

“I’m going to miss you so much.” Beth replied as she tried to be brave, but Alex could see her lower lip quiver.

Alex turned and hugged her tightly, “I’ll be back, I get ten days leave after basic training and one month a year.”

“It won’t be the same…” Beth started, then stopped as her courage failed and she ran crying from the room, Alex tried to go after her but his mother stopped him.

“She has to get used to you being gone Alex, best to start now.” She said quietly as she gave him a small sad smile.

The week passed quickly and they said their tearful goodbyes at the bus station and Alex watched as Beth sobbed in her mother’s arms as the bus pulled away and felt as if he were abandoning the young girl.