Fun at the Zoo

“Come on, Lilly it will be fun!” Jacob says to me. He always wants to do stupid shit like we’re still kids.

“Fuck no!” I say back, “I’m not going to the fucking zoo!”

Jacob has been this way for the longest time. It’s like he never grew past the age of ten, even though he’s already eighteen.

“Come on, Lill!” Jacob whines, “I can’t just go with mum!”

“Yes you can, you fucking loser!” I laugh, at my little brother, “Go to the zoo with mum just like you used to!”

Jacob storms out of the room in a fit, one that’s very embarrassing to have for a man of his age. I watch him leave, and think to myself that if Jacob wanted to have fun with me, all he’d have to do is ask. I would fuck my brother for sure. He’s six feet tall, has brown hair, and good musculature. He has the body of a model, but the mind of a child, and I don’t go for man-children. I’ve been dropping the most obvious hints for the past three years, but Jacob has let them sail right over his head. He actually thought it was an accident that I walked into his room naked. Like, the towel just fell all on its own, and Jacob just assumed I didn’t mean to do it. Come on, little brother, how obvious do you need the hints to be? Am I not attractive enough for your virgin, loser ass to want to fuck? I know that’s bullshit. I’m stacked blonde with the body of a super model, and I fuck like a whore on her last penny.

“Lilly!” Mum calls, “Take your brother to the zoo! He’s driving me crazy!”

“Fuck no!” I yell, “He can take hisself if he wants to go so bad!”

“You know he doesn’t have a licence,” Mum says, “be nice to your brother, you know the way he is.”

I groan and get off the couch, grab my keys and go out to the car. I impatiently honk the horn until Jacob finally runs his retarded ass out of the house, almost skipping like a boy in secondary.

“Thanks Lill!” Jacob smirks like he won an argument. I roll my eyes and start the car. When we get to the zoo, I walk with my brother and try to keep myself interested in the attractions. I haven’t cared about animals since I was ten, but its better to pretend to give a shit than to actively not. He sees all the shit he wants to see, and I keep my distance and try to appear associated with him as he points and laughs at the gorillas. Jacob has no excuse for acting like he does, but I guess he can’t help himself.

“We’re leaving.” I tell him.

“What?” he yells, “But we just got here an hour ago and I want to see the giraffes!”

“See them on the telly, we’re leaving!” I growl, yanking his arm to no avail.

“What is wrong with you?” Jacob yells.

“What’s wrong with me?” I yell back, “What’s wrong with me? You’re about to got to university and you still act like a fucking ten year old!”

“I’m just excited about the animals!” Jacob insists, “I’m going to be a biologist, so shouldn’t I be excited about what my career is going to be?”

“You’ll never make it through biology courses,” I laugh, “you can’t even tell when a woman makes a pass on you, how are you going to tell the difference between red and white blood cells?”

“What are you talking about?” Jacob yells.