Full Of Bull

I knew from her mannerisms that my college student Bambi was somewhat of a country bumpkin but didn’t expect how far I’d have to drive to get to her house and how much of a stereotypical hillbilly her father would end up being.

“I’m just a little concerned,” I said to the man in overalls on the porch. “Because when I asked Bambi why she was always drinking from this jug of milk that doesn’t smell like milk at all and looks more like yogurt, she said she was allergic to cow milk and could only drink bull milk? She’s getting teased a lot because of it, and I wanted to see where she picked up this misunderstanding about male cows giving milk.”

“Hee hee hee, oh boy, she’s been drinking this stuff for years.” The man slapped his knee before casually explaining. “Just a prank mah boys been playing on lil’ Bambi. She milks that bull in the barn ‘ery morn and night for that cum. Heck, he don’t mind; she gives the old beast a tug and comes back with a big bucketful. Hee hee hee. And, oh boy, she can’t get ‘nough of the stuff. She’s in there now giving him the business. Hee hee hee.”

“You think it’s funny to trick your daughter into gratifying a farm animal every day and drinking its semen?”

“Well, maybe not for fancy city folks like yo’self, I reckon. Hee hee hee.”

“Is that the barn?” I said, pointing at the nearest structure.

“Well yeah, but… aww come on, now. Why you gotta ruin the boys’ good time?”

I didn’t care what that horrible man had to say as I speed-walked towards the barn with clenched fists. I’ve always done right by my students, and Bambi needed to know the truth as soon as possible.





The door was ajar. I could hear the girl from outside.

“Your milk is so thick today, Mr. Milkshake, and there’s so much of it. You only have one teat, but you sure compensate for it. Don’t worry. I’m not going anywhere until I get every drop out. I know how uncomfortable you get where you’re all backed up.”

I stuck my head inside. Bambi was standing beside a massive brown bull, her famous milk canister by her side. The world slowed down as she tied her light brown hair in a ponytail with arms spread wide under a bright barn light. Surrounded by nubile schoolgirls all day, I never let dirty thoughts enter my mind, but I always thought Bambi’s attractiveness was underrated by the boys at school because of her innocence and pungent bull-milk breath. Perhaps it was those loose, jiggling breasts under her white peasant dress or the morbid curiosity to learn how a girl with such hypnotizing breasts milks a bull, but I forgot to announce myself and just kept watching instead.

Bambi started working down the line of buttons on her chest.