Full Circle – Chapter Two

As I said with my first story the events that took place here are true, only the names have been changed to protect the innocent. I appreciate hearing your comments and for those of you that cast negative votes at least have either the guts or courtesy to say why you have done so. You won’t offend me for there is nothing you can say that will. – THX



Full Circle – Chapter Two

Well there I was, a 63 year old widower, driving through Baltimore City, Maryland reliving the sins of my past. I didn’t have too many regrets in life for I had, up to this point, had a very good life all in all. I had stayed in the Corps for 32 years, retiring 13 years ago at the rank of Colonel. I was up for a “star” had I stayed in, but that was when we had the first hint that things weren’t right with Carol so I got out to spend more time with her. It was the right decision to make. I had made a lot of true friends in the fraternal brotherhood know as the Corps who I knew would always “have my back” regardless of the circumstances, but this was one instance where I knew they couldn’t.

I had been married to a wonderful woman for over 30 years and had reared her son as my own and another that was ours alone and I had lots of wonderful memories, but in the end that is all they were. I had planned to make a final journey around the country seeing my children and grandchildren for perhaps the last time. It was my intention, at the finish of my journey, to go back to the farm and sit there till I died, for, to be perfectly honest I didn’t see any real reason to continue on. I felt bad about this decision as Carol, knowing me as well as she did, had insisted that I start dating again after a three month mourning period and I had reluctantly agreed to try, but my heart just wasn’t in it. The last time I had been successful in smooth-talking a woman into my bed was over thirty years ago and I didn’t know if I would still be able to.

The kids were taken care of. My daughter got a trust that doled out a specific amount of money to her and her alone (to keep her loser husbands hooks out of the principle) until the grandkids came of age and their trusts matured. My stepson/son got the business as he is the one that had followed my footsteps into the Corps and later in his choice of education. He was already running it and paying me a nice dividend on my share. My youngest child got the farm that spread out over eight square miles on both sides of the Tennessee River and had over ¾ of a mile of riverfront on each side because that is what he really wanted from the first day I bought the place. The hunting was great, the fishing simply outstanding and the view from the main house up on the bluff on a tongue of land that jutted a couple hundred yards out into the Tennessee River was worth more money than anyone could ever possibly offer me.

My bags were packed and I had already checked out of my hotel room. I figured that I would drive by the last of the places I used to live, park, and stop in at the pharmacy for a quick bite and then, regretfully, make the 5 hour drive to my daughters place in New Jersey. I had already made reservations at a nice four star hotel on the beach about forty miles from their place, because I sure as hell wasn’t going to stay with her and those squalling, fawning grandchildren, and I sure as hell didn’t want to listen to her loser husband whine about how life had been so unfair to them all night. No, having the hotel room gave me an excuse to duck out and visit with a couple of service buddies who knew to call me if they received a “coded” text message thereby giving me an excuse to duck out. Like I said, the fraternal brotherhood is a wonderful thing.

The old garden apartment was just as I had remembered it, a small haven of peace and tranquility in the center of the city and showing a bit of age, but then weren’t we all. It looked like a nice young family was living there now and as I walked by I wished them all the happiness in the world and hoped that their memories of the place would be as fond as mine were. Around the corner and there it was “Marshall’s Pharmacy.” I used to tease Susan about that even though she always said that it was no relation.

Opening the door I stepped inside and looked around. The floor and ceiling both looked like they had had a facelift with new lighting fixtures, the floor tile had been changed, and the shelving upgraded. The soda fountain was still located in the front of the building on the left as you came in the angled corner door and the pharmacy was still in the rear, but there was a difference that I couldn’t quite put my finger on at first and then I realized that the width of the room had been expanded to take up the old stairway and the soda fountain had moved into that additional space and it had grown a bit larger as well. It now took up almost the entire width of the building with eighteen or so fixed stools along the counter and a full dozen four-top booths lining the large plate glass windows where there had only been a third that number before and the place was all decked out in a retro-50’s motif.

I took off my coat and hung it up along with my hat and lowered myself on to one of the stools. I just sat there, lost in the memories, for I don’t know how long before I heard “Excuse me, Mister” and for a moment I thought I had been magically transported back forty years. Standing in front of me was this twenty one or twenty two year old, red haired, jade green eyed vision of beauty that immediately reminded me of Susan at that age.

“Are you all right Mister” “You look like you have seen a ghost” this beautiful vision said. Damn even her voice sounded like Susan’s voice did.

It took me a few seconds before I replied “Yes, I’m fine, you just remind me of a girl I knew here 40 years ago and in fact you look like her spitting image and it was just a bit of a shock that’s all”

“Oh can I get you something” she asked.

Looking up at the menu board I ordered a hamburger and fries, and a coke and she asked me if I would like a bottle coke or soda fountain coke. I ordered the soda fountain coke and she took the holder, fit a paper cone to its base, filled it with crushed ice and filled it with that combination of syrup and soda water that you can hardly find any more and within moments it was in front of me. Took a sip and it was just as good as I remember it.

The girl then placed my order with the cook and walked back toward the pharmacy and I heard her say “Grandma there is a man out front that said I remind him of a girl that he knew here forty years ago.”

“What’s he look like” I heard a that I would have recognized anywhere at anytime ask.

“Oh!” she said “He’s real nice looking for an older guy, except for this horrible scar down the right side of his face”

I heard a gasp and footsteps and then “CT is that really you?”

I turned on my stool toward that voice that I remembered so well and there she was. That absolutely beautiful woman I had made such passionate love to more than four decades before. I sat there drinking in her beauty for the years had been exceedingly kind to her. Her hair was the same length as before, if not a bit longer without even the faintest hint of gray and her jade green eyes still had that same twinkle. Sure there were a few more lines crossing her face but she sure as hell didn’t look like somebody’s sixty-three year old grandmother. Her breasts looked a tad fuller and maybe it was the bra she was wearing, but there sure didn’t seem to be any sag to them at all and from what I could see under her white pharmacy coat it didn’t look like she had gained more than a couple of pounds since I saw her last.

I sat there like a bump on the proverbial log for this was absolutely the last thing, the last person I expected to see. Oh sure, I guess that somewhere deep in my subconscious I had hoped that I would see her again, but in reality I had come here to lay a ghost to rest and then it turns out that the ghost is alive and well. With that came a rush of emotion such as I hadn’t experienced in a long, long time and I stood up reaching for my coat and hat.

“This was a mistake” I said “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have come here and I’ll take my leave.”

With that I put a ten dollar bill on the counter and turned toward the front door.

“CT wait” she said “I haven’t seen you in forty years and you can’t just up and leave at the sight of me.” “We have lots we need to talk about.”

Now I was getting angry and I turned back and said “Why Susan? “So I can relive a terrible mistake I made all those years ago?” “So you can gloat over my discomfort as you did over what you did to that pseudo husband of yours long ago.” “No thank you ma’am, I have had enough pain in my life recently and frankly I sure as hell don’t need to add any more to it” and with that I turned back and headed for the door.

I hadn’t taken two steps when I heard Susan say “Oh God, why do I have to pick the ones that are just so fucking dumb!”

I felt a hand grab my shoulder and before I knew it she had spun me around and her arms went around my neck as she pulled my head down toward her gorgeous lips. I sought to resist, but I should have known that resistance on my part was an exercise in futility.

I opened my mouth slightly and her tongue snaked in, searching for and finally finding my own before twisting around it. When we finally broke apart her granddaughter said “ Wow grandma, that was really hot” and a giggle escaped from Susan’s lips. Me, well I was standing there like a pole-axed steer not knowing north from south and I found that I really didn’t care either.

Susan took me by the hand and led me back to what was obviously the staff break room / lounge and sat me down at the huge table in the center of the room and her granddaughter brought my hamburger and fries and a fresh soda fountain coke. I guess I was still looking a bit lost so Susan said “Eat” “You have to keep the body fueled and you need your strength.”

“Susan” I started to say when she reached over and placed her finger on my lips.

“Don’t say another word” “I have something to say and you are going to remain quiet until I have done so and if you don’t like what I have said you can get up and leave and I won’t stop you, but you are going to listen to me.” She turned to the door and said to her granddaughter “Cynthia you have the front and tell Michael in the pharmacy that he will have to run things there until I get back.” “Oh, and I don’t want to be disturbed for any reason short of nuclear attack” and with that she closed the door on her astonished granddaughters face.

I took a bite of the burger and chewed slowly as Susan began to talk.

“The first thing I would like to say is that I am truly sorry for the way I treated you that night forty years ago.” “When you came over that night all I had in mind was a good meal and maybe a pleasant evening of sex with a friend and nothing more.” “When you showed up and hit it off with Faith so well I started thinking a bit differently and when you got up to get the wine I followed you. I watched you tiptoe over to Faith’s door and check to see that she was alright before coming back to my bed I knew that you were a person I could live with forever and that scared me.”

“I had been taking of myself and Faith for so long without any real help I didn’t know what to do.” “I had my life all planned out you see.” “I was going to get my college degree and then my degree in Pharmacy and stay in the military until I retired.” “I didn’t want anyone or anything getting in the way of my accomplishing those goals.” “Oh, perhaps after I got settled I could look around for some companionship and maybe love, but right then, at that moment I didn’t want any encumbrances and you, My Love, were a major encumbrance.” “No, not in any negative way, please don’t ever think that.”

“When we made love that second time and I was looking into your eyes as we came together I could see that you loved me and would never do anything to hurt either Faith or I.” “I knew that you would never hold me back and that would allow me to reach my goals in life, but I was scared and when you said what you did I let that fear in me come to the fore.”

I raised my head and looked at her.

“No, no I know that you didn’t mean what you said, that you meant something else entirely, but I saw this as my way out and I am ashamed to say that I took it.”

“When my roommates came home they found me sitting on the couch with Faith in my lap and an empty bottle of wine in my hand crying my eyes out and things just spiraled out of control.” “They were the ones that told me to have nothing to do with you.” “They only acted the way they did toward you when you called and they threw the flowers in the garbage because they honestly believed that you had hurt me and hurt me deeply.” “I know that that hurt you because I saw you drive by and knew that you had seen the flowers laying in the can and I wanted to run out and say that I was so sorry, but I just couldn’t.”

There were tears streaming down her cheeks and she looked at me and as she placed both of her hands over one of mine quietly asked “Can you ever forgive me?”

I was still a bit hurt and asked “why did you disconnect your phone?” “I tried calling you when I got to OCS and was told that your phone had either been disconnected or was no longer in service and when I came by after I had graduated you had moved.” “I even went by Towson State, but because I wasn’t family they wouldn’t tell me even where you had gone to.”

“But I didn’t disconnect the phone” she said looking at me with hope in her eyes “Amy forgot to pay the bill and the phone company temporally shut the phone off and it was back on 3 days later.” “When I got to school the next week” she continued “I found that my advisor had arranged for a small scholarship for me to the pre-med program at the U of Maryland provided I could transfer right away.” “She had even found me a place to live with two other girls that had small children.” Since our lease on the place was nearly up and Amy and Carol were both going to move in with their respective boyfriends I packed Faith and mine stuff up and two weeks later was living in College Park.”

I looked deeply into those wondrous jade green eyes and taking her hands in mine I leaned over and tenderly kissed her on her lips.

When we broke apart and still looking into her beautiful jade green eyes I said “There is nothing now or from the past that needs forgiving and with that I stood up and took her into my arms for another even longer kiss.