Friends Only

Donnie’s Mother is named Karen and he inherited her blonde hair and blue eyes. His winning smile and friendly personality was inherited from his father, Robert (Rob). Donnie is always invited to all the high school parties, but never hooks-up with the girl of his choice. He can never understand how he manages to turn off all likely prospects. His frustration is so strong he turns to his Dad for advice.

“Dad, how did you manage to get Mom to be your girlfriend?”

“I’m not sure I understand what you are asking, Son. We just met and fell in love and soon after that we married.”

“How did you make Mom fall in love with you? How did you keep her from putting you in the ‘friend only’ category?”

“Well first of all, Son; you don’t MAKE anyone fall in love with you. Love is something that happens between a man and woman when they find they are compatible. They are generally attracted by chemistry and build a relationship from there.”

“Well…I have been attracted by chemistry to a lot of girls and at first they seem to be attracted to me. Things go well for a while, but I eventually end up in the ‘friend’ category. What am I doing wrong?”

Rob thought for a minute and then said, “I can tell you how to manage a boy-girl attraction from a man’s point of view, but you will need to get input from your mother on what the girl is looking for in a relationship.”

“I would feel too awkward talking with Mom about romancing a girl.”

“I don’t know why you would feel awkward. What better source about what a girl wants than your own Mother? She can tell you exactly what attracted her to me. She’s your Mom and she wants you to be happy. You can count on her for the best advice.”

“Okay…I’ll think about asking Mom, but can you tell me right now how to win a girl over to the boyfriend-girlfriend relationship?”

Rob suggested they move their father-son conference outside by the swimming pool. He wanted their conversation to be private; just two guys talking about courting the female species. Rob tried to start with the basics because he didn’t know where his son fell on the birds n’ bees scale.

“When a girl is attracted to a boy, it’s often way too subtle for him to pick up. But…don’t worry, because there are a few female body language signs that indicate she likes you. But, you have to pay real close attention to notice them because many of them aren’t very clear. You have to mainly watch her eyes. If you are busy gawking at her tits, you will miss the signs. You will also run the risk of turning her off. You come off looking like a creep if you constantly stare at her tits.”

“Well…that’s probably one of my problems. I have always been fascinated with tits. I usually spend a lot of time talking directly to their tits.”

“That’s YOUR body language sending her the wrong message. You don’t want to stare because that can creep a girl out.”

Donnie knowingly shook his head in agreement.

“Well…I can see that body language is the area we need to work on first because it’s often tough to figure out whether a girl really feels attracted to you or not. She may just be trying to be polite and doesn’t want to hurt your feelings. Better to know the truth straight up, don’t you think? As I said a minute ago, when a girl is attracted to a boy, it’s often way too subtle.

“Okay…so I first focus on not gawking at her tits. What do I need to concentrate on?”

“Watch her body language, her facial expressions, her hands AND her eyes. Sometimes she will to play with her hair or touch her neck. When a girl is playing with her hair, I see that’s showing off her feminine side. It’s womanly and she’s only trying to capture the attention of anyone looking her way. From my experience, when a girl intentionally does these things when chatting with you, she’s just trying to show you she is into you chemically speaking. If she consistently does this stuff, you are good to go in the “like” department. Often, she’s going to twirl her hair. However, beware; this move can also signify she’s board and wants to move things along a little faster.”

“I’ve heard people talk about body language. Do girls really give off involuntary signals with their body language?” Donnie asked.

“Absolutely…body language is something they can’t always control. She may not even be aware she is giving off these signals. You must learn to watch for them. When a girl raises her eyebrows with a smile, she’s showing you pleasure. Translation…she likes you. Often when a girl likes a boy, she will unconsciously raise her eyebrows and might even lower her eyelids sort of shyly. She could lick her lips to catch your gaze or perhaps blink her eyes. Just be alert to them all. Also, keep in mind if the girl is shy, she might be very subtle with any of these body language signs, so you’ll have to pay close attention.”

“I think I like knowing about body language. For one thing it will help me to not dwell on her tits so much. What are some other signals I need to watch?”

“The giggle is another sign. When a girl giggles, she’s simply bringing out her fun-loving youth. She wants you to know that she is fun and alive and easygoing. If she makes eye contact with you when she’s giggling, that’s a fantastic signal she is into you. The eyes are the secret to the soul, right?”

“So, I’ve heard.” Donnie remarked.

“Also watch for the back arch. When a girl arches her back, this makes her legs and breasts the center of attention. She’s unconsciously trying to emphasize her body in order to get your attention. Often girls will do this to capture undivided attention from far off. Just be sure you don’t mix this up with her just trying to stretch.”

“What do you mean by back arch?”

“It means she sticks her butt out to obviously draw attention to her feminine attributes. Arching her back in a suggestive manner (basically sticking her butt out) reflects behavior which almost every female mammal exhibits during estrus. Estrus is the sign that all our male mammalian cousins are waiting to see. The female has approved of his mating dance and is sexually receptive. I don’t want to get too far ahead of myself, so why don’t we hold that particular signal until you are older and ready to seek a permanent mate. I think your Mom would object to me telling you about the mating dance at your age.”

“Hey…if it’s the female’s way of telling me she wants to get laid, I’m all for learning about it right now.”

“We will table that for right now. I am more interested in teaching you how to stay out of the ‘friend only’ category. When you are financial able to support a wife and child without my help, we can discuss ways of getting you laid.”

“Okay”, Donnie sighed.

“Girls have a very specific look they are going to give when they are interested in a boy. She will likely raise her shoulder and half look back over them at you, so you get a side profile. Apparently, this is a seductive look, the one you will see girls use when posing in a magazine. Keep your eyes open for this one. There are oodles of ways a girl can use her lips to pique the interest of a guy. One of the popular ones is applying lipstick slowly and sexily. Some girls choose to eat their food in a slow and sensuous manner; one that is meant to arouse a guy. If she’s sucking seductively on her straw or pausing with the strawberry in her mouth, she’s definitely trying to tell you she likes you with body language.”

Donnie grinned real big and scooted closer to his Dad. Rob realized he was getting back into the art of seduction area.

“Wait a minute; let’s hold off on that one also, it sounds like I’m telling you how to seduce a girl.”

“Look Dad…I know you don’t intend to teach me how to go out and lure a girl into my bed, but don’t you at least think I should know what the signs are if a girl is wanting to have sex with me? I don’t want the reputation of being sexually stupid. It would be embarrassing if a girl is trying to relay the message she wants to have sex me and I sit there like a dork. I can always turn her down gracefully without destroying her ego and our friendship.”

“Okay…you have a point. Just promise me you will not discuss any sensitive father-son stuff like that with your Mom. You know the stuff I am talking about. I don’t need her on my ass for leading you astray.”

“I promise, Dad.”

Donnie spent the next two weeks practicing the body language technics he learned from his Dad.