Foster home 4 – Fun at the lake

Besides the homes with the neglectful foster parents that exist there is an even worse alternative, at least in my eyes, that thank God I only had to experience it once. That home is called a group home. A group home is run like a business with the adults coming on and off duty like in any job. A group home is where they can put many foster kids usually girls together and boys together. But of all the homes I ever stayed in the group home was the place where I felt least safe. I’m not sure if it was on purpose and it probably wasn’t, but I had always had very long hair. It was probably more that my real mom didn’t have the money for me to get a haircut and my foster parents always wanted to save the money not spend it. Now I guess my ancestors must have been of a Nordic descent because I had the most natural golden blond hair and had the most fare completed white skin anyone could have although I can really tell you nothing of my ancestry since my mother never seemed to know anything and never would even talk about her parents. But within minutes of being in the group home I got a new name “Blondie.” Unfortunately this name was not given out of kindness but seemed to be meant in a derogatory manner. Typically the adults at the group home seemed to hate their job and pretty much let the older bigger tougher kids run the show. I’m not sure in what grade I learned about the theory of “Survival of the fittest” but I can tell you it is how the group home was operated. Even within the girl’s group this was the case. And I was such an easy target. Undernourished and very small for my age, and with golden blond hair I became such an easy target.

The girl that seemed in charge in my group was a girl named Erika. Erika had beautiful black long hair and dark brown eyes. Her skin was a natural beautiful olive color. It didn’t take me long to realize she was in charge because she told other girls what to do. Within moments of me being there she met me at my bed and gave me my new name. “So Blondie, what do you have there in your bag that belongs to me,” she asked. Now I was stunned by this question as I had just arrived so I couldn’t have anything that belonged to her. Well that was until I understood what she meant. Erika picked up my bag opened it and searched through it. I am not sure if it was fortunate or unfortunate but I did not have much of anything of value to speak of. She pulled out a hoodie sweatshirt I had that zipped down the front and tossed it to a girl close to my size. She pulled out a belt I had that was leather with silver metal studs on it and put it over her shoulder and then she pulled out my stuffed animal bear, which caused me to react grabbing for it. “What, are you a baby, you need this stupid bear,” she asked holding it out of my reach. I nodded not wanting to lose my childhood friend. I was relieved when she laughed at me which started some of the other girls also laughing and threw me my bear. “You don’t have shit bitch,” she said, tossing my bag back on my bed walking away with my belt and the other girl walking away with my hoodie. I put my bear back in my bag and sat alone for a while scared of what had just happened.

Later that day after returning from dinner and shortly before lights out, when I returned to my bed there on my pillow was my bear. My poor bear had a wood twig from a tree poked completely through his stomach. The twig was also poked into my pillow holding my bear to it with it sticking out of his tummy. I carefully pulled him off the pillow and then worked careful to pull the twig back out of his body. I got into the bed and cried myself to sleep. Two days after that while naked in the shower Erika pushed me hard against the shower wall. She kissed me hard on the mouth my first kiss from a girl and she grabbed me hard between my legs. “Shit y’all I think this bitch is getting wet,” she said to the other girls there with her. “Do you like me touching you Blondie,” she asked rubbing me hard between my legs. Then she spit in my face and said one word, “Puta,” and walked away. Three days later I got jumped by 3 girls including Erika who used a knife to cut away a big chunk of my hair while the others held me down. I was relieved when they let me go after that. Two nights later I woke up screaming with a horrible pain in my side. By the time the adult, probably asleep on night duty, got the lights turned on and to my bed, my sheets were soaked in my blood. I later found out at the hospital I had been stabbed by a knife.