Foster care 3 – extended family???

Now I don’t want you to think I anyway felt safe with my real mom. As her drug use got worse, not only was I having to take care of myself by finding us food and making myself go to school, but there were very scary people in and out of our home. I can tell you that I have blocked out a lot of my memories, I think because I was so Young to remember those years and think about some of the things that happened would be traumatic for me. I can tell you that I remember not liking the strange men that would come and go from our home. I have very distinct memories of men hurting my mother and what I didn’t know then as Rape but raping her as well.

The memories that I block the most have to do with anything that they did with me. Even worse about those memories was the fact that I remember her being in the room with them and me and telling me to be quiet and behave. All while her “friends” would do things to me that should not be done to a little girl. While most of it is blocked out I remember being touched, tickled, and pinched anywhere on my body. Its odd cause when I think about those times I start hearing kids songs in my mind. I think I used to sing them to myself when things were being done to me. It didn’t take very long for me to find hiding places in our apartment when her friends would come by. Of course I was small and could hide in cabinets and closets and even remember hiding in the dirty clothes hamper. I remember this because I remember the smell of the dirty clothes and to this day hate that smell.

But here I was in my new foster home with all that in the past and having just enjoyed one of the most physically enjoyable experiences of my life at the spa. Only a few days in my new foster home, with my new parents both giving me more attention then I had ever had from any adult. Yet after a few days of loving affection I had such painful sex with my new foster dad with my foster mom right there with us, but everything else seemed so normal, so much like any other kid’s home I knew from school, maybe even better.

So now my new mom and I returned from the spa treatment and I could not stop smiling. The day continued to stay wonderful as we arrived home and foster dad had dinner there ready for us. We had a very nice dinner again with bottles of wine. It made me feel so adult that I was allowed to share in the wine and I loved how after a few glasses it made me feel so relaxed. This night it seemed to affect me even more I think because I was already so relaxed from the spa. Again after dinner after cleaning up the dishes, we settled into the den with soft music, low light, more wine and more affection.

I found myself becoming more and more accepting of what I should have considered odd behavior, but shortly after settling in the den, we were all kissing and rubbing and cuddling with each other. I still was very timid to do much of anything with my hands, my arms mostly feeling in the way of things, but I was completely letting go with the French kissing and actively working tongue action with both foster parents. It also seemed to feel much less weird when their hands would touch my body on my special places and it drew less and less of my attention to where I hardly distinguished between who’s hands it was touching me wherever.

Before long my foster father pulled us all to our feet and we were off to my bedroom. Quickly we were all naked and in my bed and before I had a chance to realize what was about to happen, I felt my father lay on top of me again. Just as I realized what he was doing my foster mom gave me a very intense French kiss. Then, I felt my body stiffen as again I felt his cock push inside me. I was still very sore and tender there so it did hurt again, but nothing like that first night.

It didn’t seem very long before he was deep inside me stroking in and out and again I felt him bottoming out at my cervix. I have to admit the bumping of my cervix by his cock hurt quite a bit as stroke after stroke I felt a punch like thud inside me. As it continued I saw his face get more intense and again found myself crying as he forced it fully inside me stretching my cervix till it allowed his cockhead to penetrate inside me.

That feeling is so hard to put into words, except to say it feels like something inside your body trying to get out, but soon he had penetrated me there and I felt closer to him physically then I think you can feel with anybody. I have to tell you even as painful as again this was, I think that was the First Time in my life that I understood the word intimacy. My foster mom was somehow laying over my upper body, her shoulders almost lined up with mine, kissing me so deeply, at the same time, I felt my foster father so, so far inside my body it felt like the three of us were in symphony like that beautiful music that I still thought I heard playing in the other room.