Flying the “redeye”

“Welcome to Boston. The current time is approx. 7:00am, and the temperature is a cool 45 degrees. We will be taxiing a few more minutes, so please stay seated until the Captain has turned off the fasten seat belt sign. Have a nice day in Boston.” came over the airplane speakers.

As I was waiting for my bag to arrive, Ylena secretly blew me a kiss from across the carousel, mouthing thank you as her boyfriend was pulling her bag off the line.

I winked at her and couldn’t help reminiscing about what happened on my “Redeye” flight….

I arrived at PDX for my late-night flight to Boston the customary “two” hours before the flight departed. The airport was empty at 8:00pm on a Tuesday night in July. After passing through security, I headed for my gate. I arrived at the gate with enough time for a couple cold brews.

It’s a crime to charge $8.00 for a pint of beer. I was halfway finished with my beer, alternating between watching planes take off and people watching when I heard, “I will have a Cape Cod please.” I turned my head to follow the voice and took a double take. There was a gorgeous brunette sitting a couple seats down from me. She caught my gaze, looked at me and smiled. I turned my attention back to the runway where a 747 was landing. I finished my pint and asked the “beer” tender for another. This time I turned to catch her starring at me. I finally spoke, “Hi!”

She responded in kind. I took a couple of drinks before speaking again. “Are you on the red-eye to Boston?”

After I said that, I thought to myself. ‘Idiot’, of course she’s on the red-eye why else would she be sitting here.

“Yes,” she replied. “I hate these overnight flights. They screw up my sleep pattern,” she continued.

I took another swig, and said “Yeah, I here ya. It’s so damned hard to sleep on planes.”

She finished her drink and ordered another. After a beer and ½ duty called and I went to use the restroom. I was feeling a little buzzed from the alcohol and thought if maybe this will be the flight where I join the exclusive “Mile High Club”. I often fantasized about sex on an airplane. Part of the excitement is the thrill associated with the possibility of getting caught. I finished relieving my bladder and headed back to the bar. I still had 45 minutes until boarding.

After hoisting myself back on the bar stool, my bar mate asked me where the restrooms were. I responded and used my index finger to point the way.

I finished my pint. The “beer” tender asked if I wanted another. I looked at my watch again and determined I had time for one more.

My bar-mate returned. Her face looked a little flushed. Apparently, the vodka was taking affect. She finished her second drink and turned to ask me if she had time for another. I glanced at my watch again and said, “We have about 30 minutes before boarding. I think you have enough time.”

She said, “Great!!” She then asked the bartender for one more.

“I’m Brian,” putting my hand out for a shake.

She moved her hand towards mine and said, “I’m Ylena.”

“Elena?” I ask, not sure of whether that was right or wrong.

“Ylena with ‘Y’,” she repeated.

“That’s a beautiful name,” I state.

She responded, “I will let my mother know. She really loves my name.”

“Flight 1512 to Boston will begin boarding in 15 minutes,” came over the airport speaker system.

I had about ½ of beer left and Ylena had only taken a couple of sips from her freshly poured drink.

“I already have quite a buzz going from the previous two drinks,” Ylena offered. “It looks like I’m going to have to slam this one,” she continued.

I chuckled a bit and responded jokingly, “Don’t worry. I will carry you to the plane if you can’t walk.”

“Don’t gets your hopes up, I think I can walk just fine,” she said with a chuckle of her own.

I finished my beer, paid my outrageous tab, letting the “beer” tender know my feelings about the highway robbery of $8.00 per beer. “I better use the bathroom one more time before boarding,” I say to Ylena. “It will be a while before they let us get up and use the bathroom.”

“Good idea! I better do the same,” Ylena commented. “I’ll see you on the plane.”

Letting my lizard drain, I started imagining (hoping) this would be the time my “mile high club” fantasy comes true. When I take “Redeye” flights, I always try to get a seat at the back of the plane. One reason is hoping someday I will get to live my fantasy, and the other if the flights not full, I usually get a whole row to myself.

“Flight 1512 with non-stop service to Boston is now ready for boarding. Please have your boarding pass out and available to the gate attendant,” came over the boarding area. I got in line, and was desperately looking for Ylena. I didn’t see her as the line got smaller and it was almost my turn to board. My mind was convincing me she had way too much to drink and was puking or passed out in the restroom. Finally, it was my time to board and still no Ylena. I immediately thought another trip without joining the “Mile High Club”.

I found my seat and my suspicions were right. No one else was in the row; I had it all to myself. “Damn!! Where’s Ylena?”

The last few passengers were coming aboard, and the flight attendant announced that everyone was on board and the door was being closed.

‘SHIT’ I thought.