End of the World – Chapter 2

When I woke up, even before I opened my eyes, I could smell the coffee from downstairs. That’s nice. The kids are making breakfast. Then I smelled the cooking ham and my stomach bolted. I jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom. I made it just in time to lift the lid and then dumped the contents of my stomach. After another minute I was left with the dry heaves. Finally, when I seemed finished, I rose and flushed the toilet. I cleaned myself up and got into the shower. I wonder what it was that I ate last night that has gone bad. I’ll need to take a look and warn the kids.

I was sitting in front of the mirror brushing my hair when my brain finally turned on. You don’t have food poisoning, you idiot, you’re pregnant! Shit! I’ve been so careful and it happened anyway. Now what do I do. Do I keep it? Can I even find the right drugs here if I want to abort. If I keep it, how do I explain this to the kids? What do I say to Danny? We have been having sex almost every day for three weeks. How could I be so stupid? I’m not some silly teenager that thinks it can’t happen to her. I’ve had five kids.

When I got downstairs the kids were all gathered around the kitchen table talking. They had finished breakfast earlier but had saved some for me. Susan started dishing out some scrambled eggs and ham. “No Honey. I’m not really hungry right now. I’ll just have some coffee if you don’t mind. Maybe I’ll have some food later”. Susan got me some coffee and then returned to their conversation. I just sat there, sipping my coffee, staring off into space thinking.

The kids must have been trying to get my attention for a while. When I finally noticed their calling me they were all staring at me expectantly. “Mom, anybody home? We have been calling you for a while now. You seem to be a million miles away”.

“I’m sorry kids. I’m just thinking of all things we have to do this summer before winter comes around again. We need to finish the repairs to the house and the new fences. We need to plant more fruit and vegetables for canning. I guess my mind was off making all those plans”. They seemed fine with my explanation. “What did you want”?

Danny spoke up, “Susan and I have not worked together in a while. We thought it would be nice if we could work on the roof repair together. You want those bedrooms fixed soon and Susan is the best carpenter of the girls”.

When he finished I could see from the expression on his face he really did not expect me to allow the two of them to be alone together. Susan must have egged him into asking. Of course, with what Danny and I have been doing the last few months, it seems a bit hypocritical of me to say no, especially now with his baby in me. “I guess it would be okay”. They both smiled at each other. After a bit more joshing around everyone got up and started cleaning up the remains of breakfast.

I went to the closet and got a sweater and started putting it on. “Hey, kids. I’ve got some things I need to think about. I’m going out to Daddy’s spot for a while. Give me some alone time while I’m out there”.

Without waiting for any acknowledgement I opened the door and went outside. About 200 yards out from the house there was a small rise with several shade trees at the top. While we did not have my husband’s body, we still made a stone and marked a spot for him. I would sometimes come out and talk to him when I got depressed and was missing him. And I certainly needed to talk this out.

This would be our family plot, as we grew older. Then what I just thought hit me, “As we grew older”. There are only six of us now, maybe seven. When we are gone, that’s it. What happens to my kids when I’m gone? What happens to the world when we’re gone? We have not seen any sign of anyone in years now. We monitor the radio at least twice a week for a couple of hours and it was still silent. What happens if we get sick? We are bound to have the occasional accident. We have virtually no medicine and no doctors. Sure, I’m a nurse, and I know a lot, but I have huge limitations. Our numbers will gradually be reduced. I need to start teaching someone for when I am gone.

As I looked down at his marker I found it difficult to picture his face. Danny looked so much like his dad that I saw his face instead. “Honey, I’m sorry. I was weak. I’ve missed you and our sex together. It has been so many years and I just gave in”. I sat down in front of the marker where his body would have been if we had been able to recover it. “I’m going to keep the baby. It will be part of our family”.

For the next couple of hours I sat there thinking. It was still pretty chilly so I finally moved out so the sun could warm me. It took a couple more hours of thinking before I finally accepted what must happen and began my planning. It was lunch time when I finally returned to the house. Susan and Danny were in the kitchen making lunch for everyone. I pulled Danny aside to the living room. “Son, I know it is still a bit early in the spring but I want you to take a quick hunting trip around to the other side of the mountain”. I knew this would take him about three days at the minimum, one to get there, one to find something and then another to return.

“Mom, you are right, it’s pretty early. It will be hard to find anything, plus there won’t be as much meat on whatever I get as if we wait a couple of months”.

“I know.