Dare – Book II – Chapter 7

I’d slept poorly again and awoken late to find Chance gone. Our den was beneath a broad pine whose heavy branches swept low over the ground. It was soft in there and warm, and well protected from the chill of a winter not yet arrived, but soon. It was coming and I knew the rain would give way to snow one of these nights. I could feel the cold coming inside me.

This morning was clear, however, like the one before it, and the day would be warm enough. I was hungry, but only my body, and my mind was but dimly aware of the need for food. It had been three days since I’d last been home and slept with my brothers. They’d tried to follow me when I’d left, Bandy leading them in their chase as I ran off. I’d led them away from the den, of course, and the dogs rarely ventured so far into the forest anyway, but I was always cautious and protective of my mate.

I’d lost them finally, smiling at the sounds of their frustrated barks and unhappy baying. I’d crossed the stream twice and even ran along it for a good distance before climbing a steep ravine and into the hills to circle around, through the meadow where the pack had moved in late summer, they hadn’t made permanent dens such as mine, but used it temporarily as they followed the game lower, and a month or two later they’d moved on once more. The other wolves were gone now, not too far, but enough so that I felt the loneliness. I’d never been a part of them, but just the closeness of their kindred hearts had been a comfort. It had kept Chance near me as well, but now I understood he was restless to join them. They would hunt together and grow fat before the lean months of winter which lay ahead.

Slipping from the comfort of our den, I was able to stretch and stand upright, reaching up with my arms and enjoying the sensation. I’d go to the stream and bathe, collect the over-ripened gooseberries that grew along the banks and breakfast on their tart flavor. The bushes were thin by now, however, and I wondered if I couldn’t catch a rabbit perhaps, although I had little taste for raw meat really, and my stomach was too gentle for such fare normally. I was annoyed with my hunger and inclined to dismiss it as I didn’t want to go home yet.

I made my toilet and washed myself in the cold water as it rushed around my legs to the knees. I used smooth stones and sandy mud on my body, and tree bark on my hair. It was thick and dirty by then and I pulled a tick off my thigh, frowning at it and knowing there would be others. I’d need a real bath when I returned home, the two Indian boys would see to it anyway. They’d grown used to grooming me, even shaving my sex with shy smiles and blushing cheeks, and it was one of the few pleasures I still enjoyed there. Mostly I only felt the frustration of having no Master to care for me properly and I’d very little hope left of finding one.

Fate, which had once been so generous with me, was now pressing upon my heart with bitter claws and I fought it, but only weakly as I grew smaller inside with every day that passed. It was unnatural state for me, to be melancholy, and I ran to escape it. The adrenaline would help as I pushed myself to exercise and leave the stream behind, letting the air dry me as I moved quickly through the forest. This too was a pleasure and I’d found that if I pushed myself hard enough and long enough there would come a warmth to swallow my grey mood. It didn’t last long enough, but it would make me smile and I was searching for Chance in any event, wanting to find him and spend our time together before he left me to rejoin his brothers.

I hadn’t gone far at all when I heard a sharp crack, like thunder, but short and muffled somewhat. It was a curious sound and I’d heard it before, but this seemed different, closer perhaps, and it filled me with an uneasy fear. It was an unnatural noise, different than the sound of snow breaking in the mountains in late winter, but similar. That was what it reminded me of, but even that offered me little comfort and I leapt from the trail I’d been following into the brush, crouching there and sniffing the air.

After a few moments, when there was nothing else to alarm me, I moved slowly, keeping to the shadows and I couldn’t give a specific reason for my anxiety.