Can’t Have it All – Part 1

The first time I laid my eyes on her, she genuinely took my breath away. I know that sounds cliche but there was truly no other way to describe how I felt. She was walking along the outskirts of campus that led to the train station. She wore a white tank top with blue jeans, ripped at the knees. Coming in at 5 foot 6 inches, she would’ve stood about 4 inches shorter than myself. Throw in the fact that her hair reflects that of a brunette and she doesn’t sound particularly unique, but that’s not what gravitated her to me. It was the way that she carried herself: Confident but not arrogant, with eyes that had a sense of depth to them. I’ll admit that of the two relationships I’ve had in the past, both originating through lust, their shallow personalities were what warded me away in the end; I could already tell that wouldn’t be a problem here.

On the third day of the semester, I walked into my 8 am class with about as much enthusiasm the average person could have concerning Physics 201.

“Can you take my bag and grab me a seat? I’m gonna hit the bathroom before class starts.” My friend Elena asked me.

“Yeah, no problem.” I replied as I grabbed her backpack, taking a brief look at her backside as she ran off. I don’t take pride in sexualizing my female friends but I also won’t blame my occasional moment of weakness, especially this early in the day. And besides, Elena was a bombshell shrouded in a combination of baggy clothes, tomboyish traits, blue highlights to go along with her neck-length hair, and a standoffish gaze that kept any potential partners at a tantalizing distance.

Labeling her as ‘blessed’ wasn’t a huge exaggeration. Although she wasn’t one to advertise, Elena had a body most girls wouldn’t stop bragging about. With an ass to die for on top of 34C breasts (Only knew this because she left a bra on the floor once when I came over to study) sitting high and mighty on her chest, it’s not always easy to avert my eyes when the opportunity to ogle arises. Throw all that on a tall body with a pretty face and it’s a shame most guys can’t get near enough to even have a word with her. If we weren’t childhood friends who had been coincidentally reunited after entering the same major, I doubt I’d even get close enough to be friend-zoned.

As you’ve probably already figured, I’m a pretty lustful guy (I prefer to use a more classier term than “constantly horny”). Entering university really opened the door for me to convert my thoughts into actions, so you won’t ever find me complaining about hookup culture.

As I climbed the lecture hall stairs I found my mind beginning to fill with distracting fantasies of Elena and I, followed by a scolding given from me to myself. I was so engrossed in the battle between me and the horniness that I didn’t even notice the girl until after we had bumped into each other. Considering I was weighing in at roughly 180 lbs, our collision was enough to end with her caught awkwardly kneeling on the stairs while I loomed over her, saved by quickly grabbing the desk with my hand.

“Shit, you okay?” I asked before processing the face of who I was talking to.

“Yeah, thanks.” Replied the brunette I’d been eying as she made her way to the train station on the first day of class.

“I’m going to assume you weren’t trying to purposely bulldoze me.” She said jokingly as a smile flashed in my direction. Now considering my history with girls, I’ve never really had that phase of struggling to strike up conversations. Coming into university and having frequent interactions with a girl like Elena has given me the ability to keep up a conversation even if my mind was more focused on some other part of her. As I was about to reply I realized this was the first time I had seen this girl up close and personal, and wow! Black leggings accentuated her thighs and ass while the thin green top gave my eyes access to the outline of her bra. Her tits weren’t as big as Elena’s but she definitely wasn’t lacking that department.

“Um, yeah. I-I wouldn’t do that. Are you okay?”

“You already asked me that.”

Fuck.

“Hey Aly, all good?” Elena, my saving grace, asked me as she came up the stairs.

“Y-Yes.” I responded, impressed that I could even get that word out.

“Oh hey Elena!” The brunette greeted.

“Hey Lindsey, I didn’t know you were in our class too!” Elena replied as I continued to awkwardly stand between them waiting for my mouth to formulate a single coherent sentence.

“Yeah, we’re sitting just over here if you want to join us.” Lindsey offered as she pointed to the desk nearest her.

I’ll admit that morning was definitely not one of my proudest moments. I sat next to Elena while she was in the middle between Lindsey and I. I tried to get some words into any conversation they were having but my prior embarrassment, on top of the physics jargon being thrown into the room, was stifling my usual charisma. Though, from listening in to their whispers I deduced that my initial impressions of Lindsey were spot on; Definitely not just a looker. Even the way she spoke was enough to encapsulate me, finding myself staring for a couple seconds too long.

“All the more reason to make a good first impression, dumbass.” I mumbled to myself as class neared its end.

“You should consider dating again. Your taste has gotten better since your last relationship, don’t you think?” Elena said as she suddenly steered the attention onto me. I opened my mouth to argue, ready to spiel the same words I say whenever Elena says anything about me dating again until I felt Lindsey’s gaze pierce through my eyes and into my soul, waiting intently for my reply. I realized that my usual counter which discussed how I enjoy being a ‘free bird that can lay in any nest it pleases’ may nip the bud of any chance I may have still had with Lindsey. But then again, maybe that’s exactly what she was looking for.

“Yeah, maybe I’ll start considering it.” I spat out.

“Oh my god, really?”

“I guess.” I said, attempting to keep a casual tone. “I’m not gonna rule it out, but I wouldn’t be against something a bit more casual too.” I added, as if it was an announcement to any and all girls in the area. At the same time the class was dismissed, leading us to go our separate ways.

“You like her don’t you?” Elena poked, with a sly smile forming at her lips.

“Whoa, how’d you know? Was I being that obvious?” I questioned as we sat down together on the train.

“Just two days ago you were talking about that ‘free bird’ bullshit.” She said while making air quotations. “I doubt she noticed anything but you can’t fool me.” Say what you will about Elena but I do have to admit there’s not too many people who can observe the way she does. Though oddly enough I feel like I sensed a hint of sadness in her tone.