Abductions R Us

Abductions R Us

This is a business idea that came from a drunken brainstorming session. My buddy and I are low on the intelligence scale but high on the intimidation scale. We figured out a way to use our skills and be hired to create events that would benefit the person hiring us. And we get paid in the process. Win-Win situation. Here is the story:

My name is Brad. I just dropped out of college due to bad grades and no money. My dad is gonna be pissed. My longtime buddy Jimmy, who never wasted his time on any college, and I were drinking beer and trying to figure out how to make some quick money. I had rent due and a car payment.

We assessed our god given talents, which didn’t take long. Jimmy was a loud kid who can make his presence known in a group. He can naturally take charge but usually doesn’t have a clue of what to do. He needs a quiet leader to guide him. That’s where I come in. I am a good planner and strategist but am a lazy fuck and hate to make an effort on anything. We were trying to figure out what we could do to make some cold cash without any real effort. We quickly ruled out robbery, extortion, or anything that was obviously illegal. Not into selling or using drugs, so that option is out too.

Jimmy said “too bad we can’t get paid to help someone get laid. That would be a great job”.

I looked at him like he was nuts, which he is most of the time. “And how, exactly would we make money off of being Cupid?, Jimmy”?

“Well, maybe not playing Cupid, but what if a guy has the hots for a chick, and he just can’t get anywhere with her? He hires us to create a situation where she has to fuck him.”

“What?, How the fuck would we do that?”, I asked sarcastically.

“Well, what if we were hired to kidnap a woman and force her to fuck the guy who hired us?”

“I’m listening”, I said, not seeing any potential money making here. “Keep talking, Jimmy, maybe you will stumble on to an idea”.

Jimmy continued. “Or maybe do a fake home invasion when our client has that chick over at his place who won’t fuck him. We break in and tie one of them up. We pretend that the client owes us money, and we force her to fuck him. We get to watch, our client gets the fucking he wants and we get paid. Since we were hired by him, it would not be illegal, right?

“Jimmy, you dumb sonofabitch genius. You might have stumbled into something there. It could be a boss who hires us to get his secretary to do him. We kidnap them and make it appear like she has to fuck her boss to help him out of this situation. Or, maybe a hubby has always wanted a specific sex act done by his wife that she refuses. He could hire us to invade his home, get her to tie him up, and force her to do that nasty act that she has denied her poor husband. He gets off and we get money. I LOVE IT”.

Jimmy looked at me with a shocked expression on his face. “You mean, this idea could really work? I had a good idea for once? Damn! Who knew that was possible? What do we call this new business?

I thought a moment. What about: “Paid to get you Laid”? Wait….. what about “Home Invasions with Benefits, Inc”? or how about “Abductions R Us?. Hmmm, I like that last one.”

We clinked our longnecks together in agreement on the name of this new enterprise. We started to work on it the next day.

Within a week, we had created a website on the dark web explaining our business to the world of shady characters who know where to look for activities like this. We can’t use Craigslist but there are other sites that allow postings for strange, questionable, and possibly illicit activities, and we had listings on all of them. We were in business. I had a burner cell phone so it would not be traceable back to us and got my first call within a day of the first post going live.

The call was from a guy named Todd. He said he was a 20-year-old living with his father and stepmother. His stepmom was a real MILF and Todd had the hots for her. She was always teasing him by wearing shear blouses and short skirts but would not do anything other than flirt with him. Todd was the son of a rich man and wanted to get his dad to divorce this new wife. “How much would it cost me to force my stepmom to fuck me, so I can get rid of her?”, Todd finally asked.

I sized up the situation. It would be an easy score if Todd was able to plan a night when his dad would not walk in on us as we invaded their house. I told Todd it would cost a thousand bucks, paid up front. I heard a long pause on the other end of the line, then a feeble “OK”.

We then interviewed Todd later at a coffee shop where he gave us the address, a rough layout of the house, and where the new wife would be when we burst into the house. He would leave the front door unlocked. Jimmy and I would suddenly swarm in, like in a Hollywood movie.

A few nights later is when we planned the event. Todd’s dad was traveling for work and would be out of state. Todd’s hot stepmom, Eve, was gonna be home with Todd. She often cooked dinner, so Todd would ask her to cook something specific that would keep her busy. The time was set. We had our money and were ready to roll.

Jimmy and I had black hoods on and a ruck sack full of essentials. Like rope, duct tape, and a blackout hood for Eve so she could not see her attackers. We peeked in thru a window and saw Eve and Todd both in the kitchen. She was a fine-looking lady. Tall, slim and blonde, and with a nice store-bought pair of tits that were trying to fight their way out of her blouse. I could see why Todd was hot for her, she was a beauty.

We slipped through the front door and locked it as a precaution so no one else might come calling unexpectedly. We quietly crept into the family room and could see into the kitchen. Eve was occupied in front of the sink. She wore a very short dress and bent over to pull a pot from the dishwasher. Her skirt rode up on her hips and I caught the white sliver of her panties, as she dug out the pot. She had a nice gap between her thighs that held the prize of her MILF cunt, that Todd wanted to experience.

She pivoted around to a countertop which faced me. Her willowy body tapered up to broad shoulders. Her ample breasts were a bit reddish from the steam that buffered from the dishwasher after she pulled out the pot. I don’t know what she was cooking but she was looking good.

On my signal we rushed in. Jimmy from one side and me from the other. We yelled profanity and scared both Todd and Eve nearly to death. I grabbed Eve, forcing her to her knees on the floor. Her high heels awkwardly caused her legs to splay out. I roughly pulled her arms behind her back and screamed not to move. I rapidly bound her wrists with duct tape and slipped the blackout hood over her blonde head. Jimmy had Todd on his knees too, but did not bother to duct tape him since we would use him to undress his stepmom.

We dragged both victims into the family room and plopped them on the couch, side by side. Eve was still screaming, and kept saying “who are you? What do you want?“ thru the head cover. Her voice was clear since there was an opening in the hood for her mouth.

Eve’s ankles were taped together too, so that she felt completely helpless. We yelled for her to shut the fuck up. Todd had been playing along by shouting too but stopped as soon as we yelled.

I looked at Eve and calmly told her that her husband owed me a lot of money. We were here to get the message across to him that we were serious about collecting it.