A New Day, The Other Me chapter 12

Dr. Hill

“Guy… Guy did you hear me,” I ask my patient who is sitting on a couch looking out of the window.

“Yes,” the young man replies without looking at me.

“Could you answer the question please,” I ask and he continues to stare outside.

“You asked me how I feel,” he responds and pauses almost to think of an answer,” Through nerve endings in and under my skin.”

“You know what I meant Guy,” I reply trying to get something out of him.

Three sessions in a week and nothing, not a single emotional response from Guy despite all the prodding I and his family have been doing. One week it’s the charming young man in the suit and now I watch a person who has no life or emotion move through his day like he’s waiting for death. The entire family including his newest sister are all concerned; in fact the only person I can’t figure out more than Guy is his biological father. Nobody seems to know what triggered this episode in him and they tell me so, except his father doesn’t talk about it. He watches for Guy, waits for Guy to speak with him and when asked if he knows anything he ignores the question like you didn’t exist while you were speaking. I’ve watch him do it not only to myself but to other members of the family. Its frustrating when you know the missing piece of the puzzle is right there but you can’t find it because someone is walking away with it.

“I know what you meant; I said after Sunday I’d change and that I’d be different. I didn’t expect this,” Guy finally answers my question and looks away from the window and down at himself.

“What happened Sunday,” I ask now that I have a point where things could have started.

I heard from the family there was some sort of a fight between Guy and his father on Sunday, an argument where Guy told his father that he ruined it and to go die somewhere. The story changes from family member to family member but the general idea is the same, Guy now hates his father and won’t interact with him or anyone else in the family since nearly everyone has tried to be a peace keeper and get them to talk. Only reason Guy talks to me is because as much as the family would want me to putting the two of them in the same room together would be the worst idea imaginable.

“I wanted justice and I was denied justice. Now I live in a world that I can’t exercise even the slightest control over so I’m waiting,” Guy replies to my question and gives me a little to work with.

“Guy you are smart enough to realize your family is gravely concerned for you,” I ask him and he nods,” They want to talk to you but you don’t listen to them, I’ve watched you avoid every member of your family in the past few sessions and only speak with me once they leave the room. Can you explain why you are against communicating with them?”

“Because I don’t make a habit of dealing with people who betray me,” his response is curious and I dig in.

“Why do you feel they betrayed you,” I ask the obvious since he’s responding to the questions.

“Because they don’t want me to succeed, I was ready to be made whole again and instead they want me broken and weak. They wanted me where they could control me because they didn’t like that I was doing what I needed to do to fix myself,” I listen and Guy explains and while answers are vague his determination is worse than before, now he really has no path out in his mind.

“Guy I know you probably won’t tell me and I understand if it’s too soon for you to talk about it but can you go into detail about what happened between you and your father on Sunday,” I ask and he finally looks at me.

“He stole from me what was going to make me whole, I was ready to be whole again and he decided that I’d be better empty… that’s how I feel Doctor, empty,” Guy tells me but I suspect more.

“Is this because after nine years he finally decided to be an authority figure to you,” I ask and he lightly shakes his head,” Is it because he is trying to be there for you? Have you considered he was trying to save you from something that would possibly hurt you, maybe even kill you?”

I ask the question and Guy finally stares at me hard, like he’s trying to figure me out. I watch as his body shudders lightly for a moment and I think I might have reached him, I am very wrong.

“You’re helping him, you’re helping all of them aren’t you,” Guy doesn’t ask, he accuses in a hollow voice.

“Guy I’m here to help you through what happened to you,” I begin and he decides he’s not done talking.

“You’re here because they pay you to be here. What happened to me HE did and THEY condoned. THEY sneak and hide and have private talks where I can’t hear, conspiring against me and now that I know they are conspiring they bring you in so they can learn more,” Guy stands up from the couch and it’s not anger, it’s his empty feeling coming off of him.

“Guy just calm down for a minute. Yes I am paid to be here but you are my patient and I am concerned for your mental health, what has happened to you for nine years has been more than anyone should endure and now you are turning on the people who have been the most concerned for you,” I begin to explain but he’s not listening.

“No, they are concerned for their control over me but there is a simple solution for that,” Guy says before walking past me and to the door to the room,” You can show yourself out, don’t come back for me… you won’t enjoy what you find.”

I can’t physically stop him from leaving, it’s his parent’s home and I get out of the room enough to see him make his way up the stairs and out of our session before seeing his parents, all three of them watch him walk away from me. They have questions and I have more.

“Dr. Hill could you please explain to us what happened,” Mr. Deluater asks, not in a demanding tone either.

“He doesn’t trust anyone here and he won’t tell me anything now,” I state a little disgusted with the whole situation,” If that’s everything I’ll send you my bill since getting him to speak with me now will take a straight jacket, a care facility and a lot of pharmaceutical assistance.”

“My son isn’t that bad, he’s upset but we’re just trying to help him,” the Mother, Loretta Delauter, decides to add her two cents.

“Helping him was possible months ago in a care facility where he could work out his issues in a controlled and stable environment. Now he’s had time to establish this process of healing on his own, I have no clue what it was and I’m afraid to guess, and you,” I turn to his biological father,” stepped in the way of it and in his mind have ruined any chance he had at recovery. You want your son helped? I’ll have him committed under psychiatric advisement since he’s not able to make rational decisions and he’ll get help he’s needed for months.”

“Dr. Hill what are our other options,” Mr. Delauter asks again without any anger.

“Find another Doctor who can work a miracle because he’s done with everyone in this house. His father has ruined his chance of healing or as he calls it ‘being made whole’ and he won’t forgive you for that. Then when he turned to everyone else to take his side against his father you tried to play peacemaker and at that instant he saw nobody on his side, you were on his father’s side,” I explain and Mrs. Donnelly decides to interject.

“We were trying to help the two of them talk and work things out,” she explains and I have to remind her what she’s dealing with.

“And that would work with a rational mind, your son is not rational nor is he stable. His father sided with his tormentors in his mind,” I explain and finally the Father adds something.

“He was going to hurt people, he could have been hurt had I not stopped him,” good linear thinking from Daddy Donnelly.

“That doesn’t matter to him; it hasn’t mattered since his second attack. All that mattered was what he planned to do to make himself feel better and when you stopped it you became the enemy. Then everyone told him he was wrong to put his hate on you for you trying to save him and now all of you get to sit on the opposite side of him. He won’t talk to you because you are his enemy now just as much as the police officers who hurt him and the gang members that attacked him,” I explain and now they stop trying to justify their actions,” You wanted to help him but you didn’t do what was best for him. Do you want him committed to psychiatric or not?”

“We’ll need time to figure out what would be best for Guy, Dr. Hill could you please come back soon for a follow up appointment,” Mr. Delauter asks and I nod but I know better.

I leave the parents to their decisions and see the siblings all waiting expectantly like I’m going to tell them their brother is going to be alright. I shake my head and return to my car, I need to get back to the office and start paperwork to commit Guy to a care facility before something horrible happens.

Carlos Ortega

Its Monday one week after Guy was supposed to ‘get his revenge’ or whatever on me and my people but nothing has happened. I’ve seen his sisters at school and while Bethany and her friends are quiet about everything Abigail is worse. I was watching as her and Marta were talking and I don’t know what Marta said but Abigail was loud enough telling my sister where she could go and where her family could go with her that I don’t think anyone knew she could get that loud. I waited till Abby left before checking on my sister who told me ‘shit was fucked up’ and ‘we need to fix it’. Well it’s the beginning of a new week and still no Guy at school which doesn’t help my plans to talk to him and put myself in front of him. Another school day passes and not one of my people has seen Guy when I figure I need to talk to someone new. I get a notice she’s alone heading to her car as I jog to catch up to her.

“Hey, girl we need to talk,” I tell the girl in the black leather jacket.

“Why? You want to run a train on me with your boys but I got to be cool with it first? Or do your ladies need someone to show them how not to look like whores,” she turns on me fast but I expected the hostility.

“Woah, that ain’t who we are. Yeah shit we done ain’t nice or friendly and yeah Guy took a lot from us but we ain’t doing that anymore,” I tell her and she doesn’t look like she cares,” Do you know where he is? I’ve been waiting for him to hit me with whatever he had and nothing.”

“So what you actually want to pay for the shit you did,” she asks and I shrug.

“Figure I owed it to him to let him do whatever he had planned to me,” I tell her and she looks at me more confused.

“You’d let him just take it out of you? Yeah you really should rethink how you look at revenge. It wasn’t about him getting revenge, he wanted to feel like he could hurt you and I haven’t heard from him since before he was supposed to do everything,” she explains and I figure I need to push a little.

“If you see him tell him anything he needs to do we’re here. That and I’m sorry,” I tell the girl before leaving for my ride.

I make it to my ride and head to meet up with someone a little wiser and a lot older than anyone I know for advice. He’s in his office and a little surprised to see me, I’m a couple days early.

“And here you are again with that look on your face,” the Old Man greets me without even looking up from his books.

“Yeah well I’m just wondering what happened. He kept saying that he was going to do… something and he’s been missing for a week now and when anyone got close to his family to ask questions they snapped,” I start to explain but the Old Man looks up at me.

“You mean she snapped. You like that sister of his and she snapped at you,” he says but I shake my head.

“Abby snapped at my sister. They’re friends and Marta was trying to be a friend and Abby just went off like a bomb,” I explain and the Old Man sits back.

“Has it even once occurred to you that this girl is never going to just saddle up to you no matter what you do? Maybe that you’ve hurt enough of her family that she’ll never see you as anything more than what you made yourself into in her mind,” he tells me and I figure he’s right.

“Not just her man, since all this came out nobody looks at me or my people the same. I mean I barely got my sister to talking to me and one of my boys asked a girl out and…,” I want to say something about it but the Old Man knows.

“He got turned down hard enough to warrant a response from the females in your crew,” he asks and I nod, she was harsh for a sophomore,” Well I say stop worrying about kiddie shit and focus on business. You’re done with this, hell you only stayed in that school an extra year for two reasons. Your sister and recruiting.”

“Yeah well numbers this year aren’t so good,” I tell him and he nods.

“Because it’s time for you to get out, now you send younger people in and in less than a year people will want in and you’ll be running bigger section of business under me and we’ll carve out more control over the drugs you hate,” he tells me and I nod but it seems so far away,” Stop pissing and moaning about, I mean the kid’s gotta be happy we found his tormentors.”

Detective Nancy Escalante

The trace DNA matched up, the fingerprints on the bag matched up and after we raided Officer Martinez’s home and found a couple more things I was able to piece into the second attack on Guy Donnelly. I got the people who attacked Guy, Detectives James and Crawford along with the previously mentioned Officer Martinez, but all have decided to lawyer up through their Union reps and won’t talk even with us keeping them separate so they can’t change stories or coordinate pointing the blame. Captain Miller isn’t too happy either since this happened in house but he’s doing his most to keep it down and out of major public scrutiny considering all the trouble it’ll bring. Worst thing I have going on now is the looks I’m getting from the other officers. Crawford and James were good officers, good detectives and were known for answering calls to back up others when they were needed. I’m eating with Dominique from the lab because my desk is near what feels like hostile territory when she asks a question.

“So have you spoken with the victim yet,” she gets the words out and it hits me.

“No, I mean he’s probably been informed but I’ve been so busy the past week with everything upstairs that I completely forgot,” I tell Dominique who gives me a skeptical look.

“Right, and it wouldn’t have anything to do with the fact that you took so long the first time and he has less respect for the police than half the people you’ve busted,” Dom is being a little over the top.

“I failed him because I was looking in the wrong place but now I get to change that story and put a better ending on it,” I tell her grabbing what’s left of my leftovers.

Yes it’s the middle of the day on a school day but I figure it’ll be good to see Guy as soon as he’s home from school and give him the good news. It takes me about thirty minutes to drive to the neighborhood and another ten just to get to the house but I’m at the front door with a happier mood as I knock on the door. Sadly the woman answering, Guy’s mother Loretta, is not as happy.

“Hello Detective is there something I can do for you,” she greets me sounding a little flat.

“Actually I was wondering if I could speak with your son,” I say the last word and she cringes.

“That… would be unadvisable right now; my son is troubled and has been out of school for the past week. Right now he’s upstairs in his room and he’ll probably be there tomorrow as well,” Loretta Donnelly tells me and I nod but I have to persist.

“Please Ma’am; I’d like to speak with him. It’ll be for a few moments but it’s important and if he’s troubled maybe I can help,” I offer and see her resist.

“Detective Escalante, I understand this is a good time for you by helping us and solving the two attacks on my son but it’s not a good time for him or my family. Things have been… trying recently and we’re still not making any headway in putting the pieces back together,” She explains and I am going to have to insist also.

“Be that as it may I can try to speak with him, see where he’s at and if he allows it talk to you about it,” I offer and I see a crack in her resolve,” Besides if you don’t want me up there than me being up there is what he’ll want.”

It’s a shot in the dark but considering everything that has happened with Guy and the stress him mother is obviously under he’s probably angry at them and everyone else since he was wrong about Carlos Ortega and his people. Well he wasn’t completely wrong, just about two incidents. Mrs. Delauter allows me inside and has the maid take me to Guy’s room, the maid doesn’t seem afraid of Guy’s room like the mother was, I’ll have to check on that later. I knock on the door and don’t hear anything when the maid, Rosa, opens it for me and motions me to step inside. I don’t see Guy anywhere at first but some movement at the side of the bed by the floor and wall show me Guy in sweats and a t shirt. He raises his face to me and I see a blank and honestly empty feeling in his eyes as I move to speak with him.

“Hello Guy, your mother said you’d be up here,” I start and he doesn’t respond,” I had to insist that I came to see you, she was against it but benefits of a badge.”

“Why come to me, you found your bad guys. Ironically enough I have no clue who they are so arresting them gives me no respite,” Guy says in an even, almost monotone.

“Still wish it was Carlos Ortega,” I ask and he looks at me,” I know now everything that happened to you. It came out a little while back ironically when we were questioning one of the officers involved in what happened to you. They saw some of what happened and that’s what made you a perfect victim.”

“Well apparently not perfect enough at being victim, Carlos and his people still walk the streets free and clear while I live out my time as the fool who couldn’t even get justice for himself,” Guy is talking about something he was planning and I remember him trying to buy a weapon.

“Not like you and the attempted gun buy,” I ask and he shrugs,” Guy why are you up here really? They won’t talk to me about it and your mother was dead set on me not coming up here so explain it to me in simple terms please. I am the cop that couldn’t find your attackers for over half a year.”

It’s a bad joke at my own expense but I see him shift a little, maybe I’m reaching him. I watch him straighten up and after a moment of his own thoughts I get my answer.

“I had a plan; I was going to hurt them. I was going to hurt them and they were going to have to live with what I did for years. No hospital, no funeral, no blood. Just fire but my fire was taken from me,” he begins and I almost ask who took his ‘fire’,” My family decided that they knew what was best for me regardless of what I wanted or had planned.”

“So say you did whatever you did, how bad would have been the fallout on your family,” I ask and he shakes his head,” Not want to think about it?”

“No there would have been none, nobody physically hurt. Just a lot of people wondering what happened and picking up the pieces of their lives afterwards, sadly that’s not meant to be and there is a simple saying I’ve adopted since I was little. If you’re not with me you’re against me,” he says and I nod.

“Yeah, I have five members of my own family that don’t talk to me and my Mom keeps asking when I’m going to fix the mess I made,” I explain and he actually gives me an interested look,” I arrested my cousin and he served five years in jail. I wouldn’t let him go or take the stand in defense of him.”

“And his family, Mom and Dad were a little upset,” Guy asks and he sits up from his spot on the wall.

“Yes, but not as much as his brother and sisters,” I begin and realize that I’m letting him know a little more about my past than I originally intended but maybe this will do something for him,” rest of my family took their side out loud but nobody says anything about it in private or to my parents and I know what I did was right.”

“Well that explains how you can knowingly arrest people close to you despite how ‘good’ people say they are,” Guy says and I see him settle back to his spot on the floor and wall.

“There’s a point to it, family is going to defend family. My parents want peace but my cousins can’t accept that their brother was a shit got caught,” I explain and he nods a little.

“There is no best in people, everyone wants to hurt you and when they can they will betray you. you can only trust yourself,” he says and I watch his head roll down to have him looking at the floor,” despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage.”

“Then do something about it, if they try to stop you then keep doing it. You want to make people remember what they did to you and regret it then do something. Just don’t do something I’ll have to respond to… I would arrest you,” I add the last bit as a joke, it’s not like he’s really able to hurt anyone.

I say my goodbye to Guy and hope he will feel better soon before stepping out of his room and make my way back down to the main floor of the house. His mother is waiting almost expectantly wringing her hands and waiting for some sort of run down as to what we spoke about.

“He’s defeated, that’s how he feels. He hoped his family would support him but you didn’t and whether you believe it or not he does. Want to get him out of his room,” I ask her and she nods a little,” show him something that would help prove you want to do what’s best for him in his mind, not yours.”

“I don’t know how to do that, I’m not even sure what that would be,” she says and I shrug.

“If you know who they are, the people he seems fixed on, just find a spot and poke it publically,” I tell her as she shows me to the door.

I feel good, better than I have in months now that I’m putting this more in my rearview and looking forward to what could be a promising career if I can get a few of my fellow officers to trust me again. Need to call John, he promised me a weekend.

Loretta Donnelly: Thursday that week

Find a spot and poke, advice from the detective that brought my son’s attackers to justice. I dusted myself off and went to work, two days worth of work and maneuvering to find a very soft and tender spot. Now I have a meeting and I need one person to help me, my son. I’m outside his door and ready to force him to dress up having asked him four times when he steps out in a polo shirt and slacks, his hair isn’t done per se, just that young male messy the girls seem to love. We get in my car and we’re off to my meeting. He doesn’t ask what we’re doing, he barely resisted coming with me save for not responding when I asked how close he was to getting ready. We’re in my car, I wouldn’t even dare to try to take his car considering how attached he was/is to it. I honestly don’t know what my baby boy is thinking these days but it’s about time I dusted off my worst trait. We arrive at the hotel restaurant and are seated, menus are handed out and I read over mine while Guy sits quietly waiting for something to come around and shake him loose. My friends arrive shortly and are seated, nobody Guy knows, and we begin to discuss business before I order both for myself and my son. I eat and talk while explaining that my son is a little overwhelmed by everything that has been coming through his life recently. We work out basic details and I am assured that should I need to take action it will be done fast and with very little compassion for the other party. My guests leave first and I finish my meal, Guy is about half way through his and picking at it like he doesn’t know if he has an appetite or not. Love my son but no time for me to be soft right now, Mommy has a couple more stops before we return home. Another drive and this time we’re at a more faithful location. I’ve seen the letters and figured I’d meet with the nice priest who has been requesting a few serious donations. I park in the designated visitor parking and grab a few files from the soft leather attaché case I keep for documents and once I coax my son out of my car I lead him into the church and get my son seated in the back while I meet with Father Gomez. He’s a younger but not too young priest with a happy yet tired face and a full head of thick black hair and a matching mustache.

“Mrs. Delauter? I’m Father Gomez and welcome to my humble church,” he greets me with a smile and a hand shake.

“Thank you Father, I’ve finally been able to look at a few of your requests. You didn’t list a lot of specifics so I had to do some digging,” I mention my investigating and he looks surprise,” The people I am representing like to know the money they donate will be put to good solid things and not frivolous endeavors.”

He assures me of his good intentions, I already know what he really needs but he tells me a few of them. I listen as he explains restoration, repair and revival. It’s a lot of work but not impossible, just takes time and money. He shows me how the electrical system needs updating and the plumbing has a few problems, all of that I already know about but I listen anyway. I’m waiting for it. Half an hour of talking and him proving to me he is a good decent leader for this community is all it takes before I hear them.

“Hey Father G,” I almost detest the sound of my son’s tormentors but in this case I was hoping for them.

Alright I wasn’t hoping, I have two daughters who moved a lot of personal information to find out when Marta’s brother’s people were going to be visiting this church to help out with some of the clean up. Father Gomez doesn’t see my reaction to the young men and it only takes a moment before they notice my son.

“Hey, it’s him,” one says pointing out my son to a thin Latino, possibly the one in charge,” Go get your stuff man.”

“Yeah H, we got your back man. Just keep it cool, Carlos is still watching out on him,” a heavier one tells their leader.

I pay attention to my papers as Father Gomez attends to three out of the four boys while the leader moves in on my son. Guy doesn’t react to Hector, I don’t even think he responded to Hector until he touched my son’s shoulder and then I heard a defined ‘no’. I figure now I get to act, more aptly react.

“Excuse me but take your hand off my son,” I use Mom voice, I have one and rarely use it as Guy cringes a little.

“Your what,” Hector, skinny little gang member, removes his hand from Guy and turns to address me,” You’re his Moms?”

“No I am his Mother, I am not his Moms. Now step away from my son,” I tell him and he gives me that look, that I don’t take orders from you look.

“Listen lady, me and your son got business so back up for a minute,” oh now I am smiling mad.

“Father Gomez,” I call out and that gives Hector pause.

“Mrs. Donnelly? Is something wrong,” Gomez asks moving towards me and I turn to face him, Hector can wait.

“Could you please explain to me why a gang member is harassing my son in your church,” I ask and everyone in earshot stops.

“Mrs. Donnelly that boy is not a gang member, they are a neighborhood watch group and they help out at this parish,” Gomez explains and I stop him.

“No, that is a gang member. His friends helping you are gang members; this is a haven for gang activity. Interesting that you’d leave that off your list of known affiliations,” I state recalling the facts as Gomez scrambles a little.

“I apologize Mrs. Donnelly but as I said they are not gang members,” his argument is one of ignorance, not greed, poor man.

“If they are not a gang why is he harassing my son? Why is it when I told him to stop he told me ‘back up for a minute’? That sounds just like the mentality of someone who answers to a different brand of order than those of us who follow the legal system. Now aside from the now simple fact that you cannot tell a gang member from a teenager in sagging cloths have him lift up his shirt and turn around,” I tell Gomez who looks at me a little stunned,” Tell him to lift his shirt and show me his back.”

“Hector do what the lady says,” Gomez tells Hector and now Hector is nervous.

“Umm Father G, can I not do this right here,” Hector asks and now he’s nervous.

“So what is he holding Father Gomez? Is it a gun? Drugs? Why is one of your ‘helpers’ who is a neighborhood watch member afraid to do the most basic search in front of us,” I ask and Gomez is watching his funding fade into the shadows.

“Mrs. Donnelly I’m sorry he was speaking with your son and he didn’t respect your wishes. Some of the young men in the neighborhood watch group are still in a few church courses on how to respect others as they would want to be respected,” Gomez is turning old testament, too little too late.

“I’ve seen all I need to see Father Gomez, don’t reapply for funding again. We have other more… respectable groups that can be funded without appearing to fund violent gang activity. Have a pleasant day,” I finish my meeting with Father Gomez who pales a little at my words.

Hector moves out from in between Guy and I and with no prompting Guy stands and I place my hand on his shoulder to help guide him. I get almost out of the door when I stop and turn to look at Hector.

“Carlos Ortega… he’s the leader of your little group isn’t he,” I ask and before he answers I finish my thought,” don’t speak, I’m just confirming what I already know. You might want to talk to him soon, he’s about to have a worse day than you.”

With that I lead my son to the passenger side of the car and let him get in without any help from me before joining him and driving to my last stop for the day. I’ve seen the house before in the small pictures that Abby used to send to show me where she was a couple years earlier. The single floor house is in three files I had delivered from the bank manager I was speaking with at lunch today. I step out of my car and encourage my son to step out with me. He’s cautious I think, I can’t honestly gauge his feelings right now but the boldness that he had before Neal did whatever Neal did is gone leaving me a shattered son.