A New Day, The Other Me chapter 11

And at this moment I’m saving lives. Some are lives I do not care for; one is a life I care for greatly. What I’m doing goes against everything I’ve learned and experienced over my time on this planet. I am doing this to save lives from each other and from themselves because war doesn’t stop easy and sometimes you need to step in and make everyone else stop.

Carlos: Monday before the Incident

After school and I’m all sorts of fucked up on how to get one person to sit down and talk things out. Yeah it’s Guy I’m talking about but at this point I’d give him almost anything just to end this shit and get my sister to hate on me and my boys a little less. Yeah I know she never liked my crew but over the past months she’s had a serious problem with everyone under me and I’m not being spared just because we’re blood either. It hasn’t turned to anything I gotta check my people on yet but I’m not taking chances on someone just thinking they can put her in her place. I’m outside her door and take a second to man up before knocking. I hear her say to come in, she might not think it’s me but I go in and when she sees me enter and close the door after me I get the disapproving sister look.

“Well sooner or later it had to happen. So what am I supposed to do for the gang,” Marta asks me and I stop at what she is saying,” You’ve been following me for a couple days now like you want to ask me something and since you really don’t have anything other than your gang it’s pretty academic where your question is going to come from.”

“Sorry sis, not about my crew. I need to talk about Guy,” I say it and she closes her laptop setting on the bed beside her,” I have tried to talk to him but he’s so far gone that I could be talking to la Luna and I’d get a better conversation. I need to make peace and I can’t figure out how any more so since you know him I need your help.”

“I’m not setting him up for you or leading him somewhere you can ambush him,” my sister tells me and I groan.

“You seriously think that’s who I am,” I ask and she shrugs.

“You don’t show anyone anything else. You have all your little homies and homettes surrounding you and you spent three years beating on him because ‘your people don’t get disrespected’. Then when he nearly dies you stand there and tell everyone that you didn’t do anything wrong when you know you did. You can’t even own up to your own shit with him but you want to make peace,” Marta is taking it to me and I let her for a bit.

“Just because I didn’t turn my people out as scapegoats for shit they actually didn’t do doesn’t mean I ignored what we had done to him and every single thing since then that my people have been close to or involved in that wasn’t making peace with him I stomped out,” I explain and she shakes her head.

“Like Hector backing him into a corner so our cousin could get involved in your little feud,” she says it but how does she know that much,” I spoke to Imelda about it after she said I didn’t have to worry anymore.”

“Well Imelda spoke with Guy because someone was threatening to hurt me by getting to you and Guy stopped that,” I start to explain but she stops me.

“Yeah both Guy and she said that and Guy said he had nothing to do with anyone coming after me because of shit you did but that still doesn’t change the fact that you kept your ‘boy’ Hector at home for a couple weeks instead of actually punishing him for going after Guy when he should have backed off,” Marta is bringing up my past with my people and it’s not helping.

“Hector needed to cool off and understand that Guy isn’t a problem,” I try but my sister is quick with it.

“If he’s not a problem then why are you worried so much that you have to come to me to help you smooth things over,” she asks it and it’s making me angry,” Is it because Guy isn’t listening to the all powerful gang leader or is it because for once you need to change people’s minds about you being the king turd leading the shits?”

“It’s about making things right and squashing all of it so we can just move the hell on. Every time I see him he looks like he’s waiting for something to happen like I’m the bad guy,” I say the words and Marta is right on me.

“You are the bad guy. You’ve been the bad guy and now you’re just upset because you think you’ve been a good guy this whole time,” Marta is talking about everything she sees but she doesn’t see all of it.

“You don’t know what I’ve done to help this family, this hood, hell this half of the damn city,” I tell her and she doesn’t look impressed,” Remember that guy who was dealing at school, never got caught with drugs but we all knew it was him and Dad was worried about you going to the same high school as us?”

“Martin Martinez, the loser pot head,” Marta asks and I shake my head at her.

“More like meth and he’s been out of the city since my freshman year. Then his suppliers, then their money, all of it gone in one year and not a single cop because I made sure it got taken care of, I might not be perfect but I’m not the bad guy,” I state and she laughs.

“Wow, taking credit for getting rid of one complete loser in high school and everything that allegedly happened after. You are really desperate to prove you’re what? Some sort of savior,” Marta says and she’s making fun of me.

“Not really, I did what I did because it was going to help,” I explain but Marta is on me again.

“And how does you and your boys kicking the shit out of Guy help? Explain to me how you being the bully with the biggest gang helped anything for him,” She asks it and I don’t have the answer for her, not one that would actually be worth saying,” Yeah, good talk big brother. I have other things to do.”

“I’m not asking for my crew or my boys, I’m just asking for me. I want to talk to Guy, apologize and if we can figure out how to let all this get behind us and not be watching out for each other when we’re trying to eat lunch,” I ask Marta who is trying to get back on her laptop,” Please take this serious.”

“I would if there were something I could do to help. You don’t understand I don’t have any say over Guy, I can’t tell him to sit down and talk as much as you could tell Hector to stop being a complete asshole,” Marta explains and I am tired of the insults,” Guy does what he wants, when he wants and when he does it he does it because from what I can tell it amuses him. He fucked up Romeo because he thought it was funny, he thought what he did to one of your boys while you watched was funny, Romeo in pain screaming? He thought that was funny because he’s not able to feel things like he used to.”

“How do you know all that,” my sister has a lot of insight into how someone she’s not always around is thinking.

“Abby, she watches him and she listens. Morning after he screwed up Romeo even though he was in pain he was smiling and even laughing a little. Your friends, your homies… they made him this way. And when he was dying you didn’t even try to go to the hospital, you didn’t put yourself out there to be spit on or have someone tell you how horrible you and your boys were because it wasn’t convenient to be seen as weak,” Marta is going for the throat on me but I shake my head.

“I didn’t go to the hospital because my people didn’t do it, both times. I admitted to what was done before but after it wasn’t us,” I start and she is quick to cut me off.

“Please, you’re memory isn’t that bad to forget Hector pushing him around as a Christmas gift,” she reminds me and I nod.

“Which is why I pulled Hector out for a bit, made him think about when he went after Guy and when I said to stop,” I didn’t exactly tell him to think about it,” Back to my thing I need your help. I just want to speak with him.”

“Then go over to his house and see if they let you onto the grounds. I’d be surprised if you even make it past the gate before the cops show up,” Marta is making fun of my situation.

“Alright, be a bitch. I have tried to explain and I have been as honest and sincere as I can but you just want to be a bitch so fuck you,” I get up to leave the room.

“Excuse me,” she stops me and I turn around and yell at her.

“Fuck you, I have made sure that for four years your life has been fucking sunshine and rainbows while my hands are covered in dirt and blood. Your college fund, the one Mom and Dad have been ‘saving’ for the past four years? That’s me, that is my work paying for your ungrateful ass and yeah I thought it was funny at first watching Guy get his ass beat and when I said stop finally it stopped. I should have done it sooner but that’s on me. Everything else you can shove up your ass,” I yell at Marta and head out.

I don’t think she came after me as I leave the house slamming the doors and my own ride door before pulling away from the curb. I’m pissed off and that’s when people need to worry because I don’t get mad, I get furious and before I realize where I’m at I’m out the car and heading into the tattoo shop the Union run. Vicki is at the front to take customers but I’m not here for any new ink as I step past the counter and the chairs to the back where the Old Man is sitting going over his books. He doesn’t even look up as I slam the door to his small office closed.

“If you’re here to yell at me about something you might want to tell me the subject so I can decide if I should actually listen to you or throw you out for slamming my door,” the Old Man tells me as I sit in his only other chair,” Or this isn’t about me and the Union.”

“I can’t fix it,” I state and he nods to me,” This thing with that kid Guy, I can’t fix it and now it’s so far out from everything that happened I just yelled and my sister because she just looks at me and sees a piece of shit gangbanger.”

“You are a gangbanger Carlos, you’re not quite a piece of shit but you do stick your hands in it just like the rest of us,” he says and I nod a little as the Old Man turns to me,” What is bothering you most about this kid? Is it the fact that someone messed him up twice and it wasn’t you or is it the fact that there are some people who don’t accept the olive branch?”

“The what,” I ask and he chuckles.

“Old term, to extend peace the symbolism was an olive branch way back before you and I were ever even thought of. This kid, Guy, what seems to be the big hold up for him squaring shit up with you,” the Old Man explains and I figure I’ll get it out.

“After all of this I just want to fix one thing that I let get messed up. You took over the drug dealers and it was your call to. You took over looking into who screwed Guy up for me because you got bigger reach. I just want someone not part of this life to look at me and not see the piece of shit that they all think I am,” I explain and he leans back in his chair.

“They or she? Always a girl when a man wants to change his stripes or at least how they see him and unless you’re queer that means a girl unless we’re talking about your sister then we’re in a subject I’m not touching,” he jokes a little but he’s right.

“Guy’s sister Abby, she hates me and that hate is spreading into my sister who had sex with Guy and this whole time I’m trying to get one of the three to sit down and not talk down to me like I’m some…,” I try to explain but the Old Man is quick to stop me.

“I get what you’re saying kid, you’re young and want people to think better of you. When you get older you’ll just want them to leave you alone and keep off your damn street,” he says more to fill in for himself than me,” Well I gotta say you’re screwed until we find the people who messed with him.”

“You know who they are, where,” I ask and he shakes his head.

“No, you stay out because it’s above your head boy. We’re handling this and when it’s over you’ll be exonerated and that will be the end of it,” he says and I groan in frustration,” Carlos I like you, you’re smart and you got ambition but you’re also loyal and honest which is why nobody has put a bullet in your head. When time comes you’ll be standing to the side of it all with your people and everyone will know you weren’t responsible.”

He’s got a line on who kicked off the year of looking over my shoulder by stabbing Guy and Guy’s real connections being found out but that does me no good now. I could go behind the Old Man’s back, figure out who he’s watching and do something before he does but that ends with me and mine hanging for it. I say my goodbye to the Old Man and head back out, I got a couple messages on my phone mostly crew but a one from Mom asking where I am and one from a blocked number. I open the blocked one and immediately look around the message was short and simple: I See You.

Neal Donnelly: Tuesday Evening before Incident

Here I am at dinner with my family and my ex wife’s family and the entire time I’m watching my son without him realizing it. He’s keeping something to himself and the longer I don’t know what it is the more worried about him I become. Hiding a porn magazine or drinking underage is one thing but he’s setting himself up against people who will kill him and not care about those around him when they do. I’ve been watching Carlos Ortega since I decided to show him he wasn’t safe months ago. I almost put a bullet in the boy but people don’t lie when you show them pictures of their loved ones and have a loaded weapon. I actually thought the boy could be hiding something about what has been happening to my son but aside from the previous beatings and humiliation there isn’t anything worth killing over. I turn my attention and thoughts back to my son. He’s calm, almost happy and smiling but whenever I see him and he doesn’t think anyone is looking I see the change and I see that darkness behind his eyes. We get it in war, it’s a look that usually means we’re about to do something that god wouldn’t understand. I have to find out where he’s been going, I found the storage locker with the car and the clothes easy enough but there is another location I can’t seem to pin down. My thoughts are almost distracting me when someone asks about desert.

“How about some ice cream,” the oldest boy, Mark Jr. suggests.

“I don’t think we have any Mark,” my ex, Loretta informs him.

“We’ll go get some,” I suggest and nod to Guy,” Guy and I can go get some and bring it back quick.”

Everyone likes the idea even Guy until we step away from the table and he looks at me like he’s putting together what I’m doing. Mostly I want to talk to my son but I really want him to tell me everything he’s thinking when he thinks nobody notices. We take the truck and I sit in the quiet with him when he just comes out with it.

“Why are we here? Why take me with you to get ice cream,” Guy asks and I don’t know how to say it best.

“I missed a lot of time with you, a lot of little things. I just want to do whatever we can together before your sister and I leave to return home to Montana. Still going to see you graduate,” I tell my son and he listens but he’s waiting for something.

“I’m almost at the point now where I actually think you want to help me,” Guy says and I almost shoot off that I do,” But you can’t, what I am doing next I have to do alone. Once it’s done I’ll have something I’ve been waiting for since this started at the beginning of the school year.”

“What are you planning on doing,” I ask and he smiles.

“I’m going to get satisfaction. I’m going to balance the scales and I’m going to watch as people have to acknowledge that whether it’s God, fate, karma or random blind luck the universe will give you what you deserve,” Guy says and I’m more than a little concerned,” After that I’m going to sit back, finish this chapter of my life and look at what I really want to do going forward.”

“Ever think that you could just let things go and move on,” I ask my son and he smiles at me, I can see it from the corner of my eye.

“Could you have just let Gwen go,” Guy asks and it’s low but he’s making a point.

“No but I went for minimal collateral damage,” I explain and he laughs a little.

“That’s the difference Dad, your list was small. My list… not so much,” Guy states as we pull into the store parking lot.

Ice cream and veiled plans have me at a standstill on what to do next with my son. Whatever it is I need to get out in front of it before he sacrifices himself or his future for a moment of revenge. When I went after my brother’s wife it was to get what was mine back. Guy’s revenge is something much deeper and darker because revenge is dark. We return home minor heroes of the moment with ice cream and everyone gets dished up before the kids are off to bed and I can speak with Delauter alone.

“He’s got something big in mind and I can’t find out what it is or where but he’s going to do it soon,” I tell the Senior Mark.

“How bad do you think it is? Could we let it pass by and just allow him the moment,” he is asking more for his attempt to salvage my son.

I shake my head no and Mark senior nods slowly in agreement before we step out of his office and I’m back to figuring out how to find what else my son is hiding.

Guy: Wednesday at school before Incident

I know you’re busy planning but I’m looking towards what happens after.

You mean like a party or a celebration? He could use one.

No, I’m thinking long term and that means he needs to find out who is best for him.

How about we just choose one and that’s the end of it.

He’s looked for too long, we let them decide.

Cat fight?

No… Maybe… it’s up to them really.

My guests arrive to my spot in the library after lunch and while I know everyone here intimately they don’t quite know each other but the four all look to each other with wonder as to why the others are here.

“So now that we’re all here I want to thank you for coming. Each of you knows me in some form or another and each of you has expressed some sort of… attraction to me. First off I want each of you to know that what I am doing here today isn’t a declaration of intent I’m simply previewing the few people outside of my family that have shown a genuine interest in my well being. That being said a change is coming for me and in less than a week I’ll be someone new, hopefully for the last time,” I explain and they listen for a moment.

“Guy I’m not sure what you’re saying,” Marta asks and I begin to speak but Jenna is quick to say her piece.

“You will be this or something more,” the budding model asks me and I shrug.

“I could be less, that is the risk but I must risk it nevertheless,” I state and she nods.

“Risk what,” Emily, the newcomer and most fresh of the four asks confused.

“Risk my everything, in war whether of the heart and mind or the body there is risk and I’ve been at war. A war I’m planning on ending,” I state as Marta looks down.

“You mean against my family,” the gang leader’s sister states and again I’m not the one to answer.

“He means against everyone, everyone who wronged him and hasn’t paid their due,” Jenna explains and smiles,” I’ll see you after; I think you will be amazing after you are done.”

“A lot of people have made it their mission statement that my life is their play thing and they can hurt, humiliate and kill me at their whim. I’m going to make a statement but more than that I’m going to make them hurt. It will not be a simple hurt either for it will be lasting and it will be something they will have to endure for almost as long as I have,” I explain and they all sit back and absorb my words,” That being said I don’t know who I’m going to be after that Jenna. This could go away in a matter of minutes and I could finally find peace.”

“You aren’t at peace now,” Emily asks with a note of concern.

“Just because he’s not taking it out on everyone else doesn’t mean he isn’t upset or hurting but Guy,” Sydney explains before turning her attention to me,” Hurting other people back doesn’t mean you won’t feel pain for what’s been done. I’m not saying do or don’t but consider your options and the fact that it might change nothing?”

“And again, that is an outcome for me as well since I don’t know how I’ll feel after all this is has been done,” I clarify and smile,” But it will be done and as it must it will be done by my hand.”

“No, you’re nice and we had a moment but I’m not sticking around to see you drag yourself down and I know,” Marta stares straight at me,” I know you are looking at my family on this and as much as I hate what is does he is my brother.”

“I know, but I will not lie to you and I will not deceive you Marta. The greatest trick in the world is to be known as the greatest liar on the planet and know that you only have ever told the truth,” I reply and smile a little sadly to her.

Marta leaves the table quietly and I allow her to, she earned that and blood is blood. You can’t hurt it like you can everything else and even if she says something to her brother I’ve planned for that. Even if they come to find me and stop me, I’ve planned for that too. And if they bring their biker buddies in on the situation to stop me, well they’ve been planned for too. The remaining three are sitting quietly before Jenna figures it’s a good time to add her two cents.

“Well I’m hoping to see you like this but more… evolved,” the beauty states and I shrug,” Not the vengeance so much but the determination, the confidence and the purity of who you are.”

“Yeah you like him now, what about before,” Sydney counters and I have to give her points on that.

“Okay no cat fights over him, it’s not going to win him over,” Emily states and she’s right.

Boo!

Well she’s right.

Maybe but she didn’t have to say it.

The ladies leave to their own devices and plans as I sit and think on mine only to find one came back and honestly, it’s the one I thought would.

“I know you, I know all this is huge and painful but have you really thought it through,” Syd asks quietly sitting back down.

“I have and it actually feels liberating to imagine doing what I have planned,” I tell her as she nods.

“I was here before, I’ll be here after and beyond but you need to think about whether or not you will be,” Syd states and I sit up a little,” I mean physically. Doing this could get you killed.”

“Only if I was going to do it dumb and blind,” I start and she stops me.

“Good, think it through… all of it and when it’s over I’m waiting for you any time. Not when it’s convenient or when I’m not terribly busy,” Syd declares in the quiet of the library with her own quiet intensity.

I watch her leave, all jeans and black leather jacket and have to think hard about that. She really doesn’t care what is left because she just wants me. Okay wants me alive which is a positive, honestly she doesn’t have any real negatives but I’m leaving it to them after. They will want what they want because I don’t know what finally balancing my scales will do for me and that is something I can’t begin to imagine.

Hawk: Wednesday Evening before Incident

And Smitty is messaging me again, probably telling me I need to keep a few of his boys with me just in case. It’s a freaking cop more interested in what the prostitutes are wearing than the biker without his leathers following him. Another bar, another stop, another pair of beers and he’s back on his rounds through the local watering holes. I honestly thought he was shaking the places down but no money changing hands and plenty of people seem to know him so that makes me wonder if he’s spotted me but no actual looking my way. We’re after bar number four and he’s probably over the legal limit but who’s gonna stop a cop in a truck. I follow in a van I grabbed from the Union lot, bikes a bit too obvious for tailing and find Officer Martinez in his cowboy hat stopping at a basketball court to scare off a couple local dealers. I think they’re dealers because they’re not watching the game and when he shows up they clear out. I finish following him as he stops at his home, a simple two bedroom house in a semi respectable part of the east side and watch as the man picks up his mail from the box against the house. I pull a couple houses up and park before getting out and make my way down the opposite side of the street to get a look. Curtain in the living room is closed, no toys outside so no kids that I can tell yet and no second car. Single man living in a two bedroom usually says wife and kid or roommate but a cop keeping a roommate is an odd bird to fly. I cross the street looking straight at the front of the house gauging his location by lights inside with all curtains closed. Living room, dining area behind maybe, down a hall to a bathroom, bedroom where I’m guessing he changes out of some of his clothes before killing the light and heading back to the living room. More lights shut off and now the spare room light is on. Office or workshop maybe?

Car coming up the block, I turn towards it and walk back towards the van. Big tip about looking like you’re not stalking someone is to move towards people, not away. Moving towards means you’re not doing anything wrong, moving away means running and running means guilt. Back to the van and I see Smitty’s latest message about sending me two Union reps just to keep me company but I know what I want to keep me company, Sheena. Been down here for months because Sid can’t seem to get it out of his head that he fucked up the deal with the Union a couple years ago and when he went off and blew up a local shop, even though it was sanctioned by the owner, he did so without Union or the ruling class’s permission. So now I have to come down here to stalk and hunt for someone else and even though I like Jim and some of his people I’m still tired of this desert shit and want to head back to my water, trees and woman. I start up the van and head back to the Union lot parking it and returning the keys to the mechanic on hand as Smitty makes his way to me with a couple boys.

“Hawk you got my message,” he asks and I nod taking off the denim jacket for my vest and no shirt,” Good, I got two boys here to head back with you.”

“No,” I like to keep it simple.

“Listen, I know you’re the big bad hunter and all that but you need back up and I say take these boys back with you,” Smitty informs me and I shake my head at him.

“No, too big, too slow, too loud. I do this my way or I head back home,” I can’t really thanks to Sid but I ain’t bringing that up.

“My Dad put me in charge of watching the cop and that means you do what I say,” Smitty orders and I assess the situation.

Smitty, large tattooed biker and son of Jim the President of the Union. He’s flanked by two slightly smaller than he is Union boys who look like they know about fighting, riding, fucking and drinking and in no real order on those four things. I square up to Smitty, who could probably beat me in a straight fight if I let him hit me and figure I need to end the discussion.

“Listen here Smitty. I am here at my president’s request and I’m doing what I am told by your father at his, Sid’s, request. Now if you have a problem with that you can go ask your Old Man what he wants me to do and by the time you get it figured out I’ll be back out on the road heading home where I belong… not down here in this dry ass hole in Texas,” I state calm and ready.

Both of Smitty’s boys are ready to beat my ass, one problem, they do that and one get’s chain to balls as an opener. Not gonna hit Smitty unless he moves then I’m just defending myself. Smitty has his boys back down and I watch him turn and walk, normally you don’t turn your back on Devil’s Best but Smitty, his Pop and their boys get a pass since it’s their town. I relax now, for real, and pull my phone to call Sheena. We talk a little, she asks me what I’m doing and when I’m coming home. She misses me which I need to hear considering more than a few men have watched her walk past a little too interested and they needed and education in who’s woman she is. I head inside the Union house, it’s one of many but if Smitty is here then so is his Old Man and after a little bit of looking I find Jim sitting down reading his ledger. Never seen what’s in the ledger but I ain’t that curious.

“My boy seems to think you need backup,” Jim says without looking up from his book.

“He does, but I don’t,” I keep it short, again I like it short.

“You got anything new,” he asks finally looking up at me.

I give him the basics of Officer Martinez and the basic layout of his house and his routine.